Sadness

Don LaFontaine, the King of Voiceovers, passed away in Los Angeles on Monday at the age of 68. Don died of complications relating to a collapsed lung.

Don's magical voice appeared on over 5,000 movie trailers and 350,000 commercials. You've totally heard his voice a million times and you totally loved it. Don's voice introduced the line "In a world..."

Don was also the "Fox Announcer" on the Family Guy. And of course, you can't forget his GEICO commercial.

Rest in peace, Don LaFontaine!

Image: Wireimage

Lesbian activist, Del Martin (right), passed on to the big Home Depot in the sky this morning in San Francisco. She was 87.

Del captured a little piece of my coal heart when she married her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, on June 17th. They were the first gay couple married in San Francisco.

Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, told SFGate that Del checked into a San Francisco hospital two weeks after a broken arm messed with her existing health problems. Kate also said that Phyllis was by her side during her last moments.

Del and Phyllis were a major part of the early movement for gay and lesbian rights. They founded the first lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis, in 1955. Del was also the founded member of several other organizations.

Rest in peace, Del Martin. Thank you for your courage and all the work you've done. Sorry. I hate getting sappy. I'll go eat a Twinkie now.

Thanks Momus

Sad news this afternoon. Dr. Dre's 20-year-old son passed away over the weekend. Andre Young Jr. was found by his mother Saturday morning at their home in Woodland Hills, CA.

Andre was out with his friends the night before and came home at around 5:30 in the morning. His mother called the paramedics when she couldn't wake him. They pronounced him dead at the scene.

An autopsy was performed yesterday in Los Angeles. Andre's cause of death is not known at this time.

Dr. Dre's rep confirmed the news to People: "Dr. Dre is mourning the loss of his son. Please respect his family's grief and privacy at this time." Sadness.

Rest in peace, Andre Young Jr.

Not Tiny Dancer!!!! If this isn't a "put the covers over my head" moment, I don't know what is! Over a year ago, I wrote about the 4-inch tall chihuahua from Florida. At the time, Tiny Dancer was in the running to be named the world's smallest dog by Guinness Book of World Records. He spent most of his young life helping others as a therapy dog.

Well, he shuffled off to heaven yesterday! Why is the world so cruel? He was only 2 years old. That's like 21 in dog years according to the Dog Years Calculator. His owner, Jenny Gomes, left this message on Tiny Dancer's Dogster profile:

I have lost the love of my life...my Tiny Dancer! He gave me so much to look forward to and he enriched so many lives with his Therapy Dog work! God why did you take him from me so soon...I still need him so much! My heart is breaking into little pieces and I can't stop crying! I know it will get better...I don't want it to...I want my baby back! I feel like I can't breath...It's really hard to see thru the tears...I know I have lots of other animals that need me...but...I need my little man back!

Sorry for going on and on...but, I have no other outlet other than here! God...Please take care of my Tiny Dancer...I will see you again one day...I love you soooooo much!

Hold me closer Tiny Dancer! I'm sure he's up in heaven, dancing for all of us! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to add another shot of Bailey's to my coffee this morning.

Rest in peace, Tiny Dancer!

During last night's Olympics Closing Ceremony, David Beckham kicked some soccer ball into the crowd signifying....signifying...something. Seriously, what was that supposed to mean? Anyway, while I watched Becks kick the ball, I felt hours and hours of entertainment also being kicked away.

When the Olympics first started I told myself that I would not get sucked in. I've seen it happen many times before and I wasn't going to let it happen to me. Well, guess what happened? It fucking became my crack. I spent days, nights and weekends watching everything from bitches jumping on trampolines to whores hitting a ball around. Sometimes I didn't even know what sport I was watching, but I just couldn't look away.

Watching hobags win never excited me. I liked watching them lose. That's where the black heart came in. When people win, they usually just jump around and scream. But when people lose, they do all sorts of things. Some bawl like an ass virgin, some kick walls and some keep it all inside. You know the latter immediately fled into the streets, searching for a kitten to choke. That's sad. Beijing is now filled with a bunch of kittens with weepy necks.

So now that the Olympics are over, what are we going to do with all this free time? Do we actually have to speak to our loved ones now? Do we have to take daily showers? Does this mean that we have to eat a meal at the dinner table? Gross. I have a bunch of events in my Tivo, so I'll just watch those over and over again. I'll never let go. Once I'm finally over it (probably within the hour), I am going to make a promise to myself to not get sucked into London 2012! The world will probably end before then, so hopefully I don't have to worry about fighting temptation.

And here's the final medal count:

United States: 36 (gold) 38 (silver) 36 (bronze) Total: 110
China: 51 (gold) 21 (silver) 28 (bronze) Total: 100
Russia: 23 (gold) 21 (silver) 28 (bronze) Total: 72
Great Britain: 19 (gold) 13 (silver) 15 (bronze) Total: 47
Australia: 14 (gold) 15 (silver) 17 (bronze) Total: 46

P.S. - I think I'm already over it. I just switched my TV to Judge David Young and it feels so good. Thanks Cheesus for trashy court shows! They are helping me to pick up the pieces. Michael Phelps who?

NOOO!!! Julius J.Carry III, who played Sho'nuff in "The Last Dragon," has passed away at the age of 56. Julius died of complications from pancreatic cancer on Tuesday in his Studio City, CA home.

Julius has nearly 60 TV and film credits to his name, but his role as The Shogun of Harlem is what he became most famous for.

He is survived by his wife, mother and brother.

Rest in peace, Julius. You'll always be the baddest mofo low down around this town!

LeRoi Moore, the saxophonist for the Dave Matthews Band, died yesterday in Los Angeles at the young age of 46. LeRoi was seriously injured in an ATV accident on his farm in Virginia on June 30th. He suffered a punctured lung and several broken ribs. He was released a few days later, but returned to the hospital last month due to complications from his injuries.

LeRoi was also a founding member of the Dave Matthews Band and co-wrote several songs. The band paid tribute to him at their show in Los Angeles last night. Dave Matthews told the audience, "We all had some bad news today. Our good friend LeRoi Moore passed on and gave his ghost up today and we will miss him forever."

Rest in peace, LeRoi Moore....

24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina of Puerto Rico apparently told his family that when he passes away, he wants to stand upright through his wake. Well, his family granted his wish. Dressed in a Yankees cap, sunglasses and a gold chain, Angel was mourned by family members while standing tall in his mother's living room for 3 days.

The funeral home told The Associated Press that they used a special embalming treatment to keep him standing. His brother said, "He wanted to be happy, standing."

The police are currently investigating Angel's death. His body was found underneath a bridge last Friday.

I guess it's not that strange. I mean, I want half of my ashes stuffed into one of Shauna Sand's exquisite lucite heels. I want the other half scattered along Robertson Blvd. That way I will always be with international supermodel Phoebe Price. Oh and save a line of my ashes for Amy Wino. I want her to snort me up, Keith Richards-style.

Okay, I take it back. After going through these pictures, I need someone to hold my hand and feed me a Twinkie. I'm a little uncomfortable

British reality star, Jade Goody, was in India filming the county's version of "Big Brother" called "Bigg Boss" when she was told she has cervical cancer. With the cameras rolling, Jade was told over the phone by her doctor. She immediately ran out crying and announced to the other houseguests, "I have cancer." Again, the cameras are still rolling. The station has no plans to air the scenes on television. Yeah, they say that now! The Sun reports that there's rumors the footage will air in the UK. Why not just release it as a special DVD box set?

Jade has since left the reality show and is on her way back to England for treatment. Earlier this month, Jade had undergone a series of tests after she collapsed four times. She decided to go on "Bigg Boss" anyway, because she wanted to patch things up with Shilpa Shetty, the show's host.

Jade and Shilpa did "Celebrity Big Brother UK" together a while back. It wasn't peaches and cream. Jade was accused of calling Shilpa every racist name in the book. She later apologized. Shilpa went on to win the reality show. Shilpa issued this statement about Jade's condition: “I was really sad when I heard the news. It’s a tough time for her and I hope she is able to cope with this pain.”

Jade's rep also issued this statement: "It looks like her cancer is at an early stage but we will have to wait until she gets back to Britain and sees a specialist and has more tests."

Maybe she should follow the way of Christina Applegate (see below) and start living macrobiotically. I still don't know what that means, but I like the word. I'm just going to start telling people, "Oh, I live macrobiotically." It sounds fancy.

And get better, Jade! Live macrobiotically!

Source

Sandy Allen, the world's tallest woman, passed away this morning at the age of 53. Sandy's cause of death is unknown. A family friend said that she was recently hospitalized for a blood infection, breathing trouble and kidney failure. She died at a nursing home in Shelbyville, Indiana.

Guinness World Records confirmed that Sandy is still listed as the world's tallest woman at 7'7". Supposedly there's a woman in China who is 7'9" but that hasn't been confirmed.

Sandy was always proud of her height and used it to teach school kids that it's okay to be different. Sandy also had a huge sense of humor. In the 1980s she was a regular at the Guinness World Records Museum in Toronto. She said, "I'll never forget the old Japanese man who couldn't speak English, so he decided to feel for himself if I was real."

Rest in peace, Sandy Allen! You will be missed.