Sadness

Two R.I.P. posts in a row and it's not even noon. Grab a few bottles of Strawberry Hill, bring a fully stocked bong and pull the blanket over February.

Aaron and Nick Carter's sister, Leslie Carter (in the middle), died yesterday in upstate New York and that's pretty much all we know. The Carter family released a statement to Access Hollywood, but they're keeping the cause of Leslie's death to themselves for now.

“Our family is grieving right now and it’s a private matter. We are deeply saddened for the loss of our beloved sister, daughter, and granddaughter, Leslie Carter. We request the utmost privacy during this difficult time.”

Like Aaron and Nick, Leslie was a singer and had a song called "Like Wow" on the Shrek soundtrack. Leslie was also in the family's mess of a reality show The House of Carters. She married her husband Mike in 2008 and gave birth to their daughter Alyssa Jane on April 1, 2011.

It's one thing to wake up to the news that Don Cornelius has strut up to heaven at the age of 75, but it's another hearing that you got there after he apparently committed suicide. And on the first day of Black History Month. Damn. Damn. Damn. TMZ says that police were called to Don's home in Sherman Oaks, CA early this morning after he allegedly shot himself in the head. Don was shortly pronounced dead at the hospital. Don's family hasn't confirmed any of this and an investigation into the cause of his death is happening right now.

Don was apparently in a sad and sick way after divorcing his wife in 2009. Before the judge granted the divorce, Don told the court that he was suffering from major health problems and wanted the divorce behind him before he died. During the past few years, Don had a stroke and had to undergo brain surgery.

Don created Soul Train in 1970, because he wanted to give soul music a wider audience and there was nothing like it on TV. Soul Train moved to syndication in 1971 and throughout the years James Brown, Michael Jackson and Aretha Franklin all performed on it. Rosie Perez, Pebbles, Jody Watley, MC Hammer and Nick Cannon all got their start shaking their shit on Soul Train. Soul Train aired over 1,000 episodes and ended in 2006.

Rest in peace, Don. And as Don used to sign off every Soul Train with: “As always in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul!” Don is with the angels now doing THIS:

Well, here's a giant cup of sads that will make you want to grab a bottle of something mind altering and hug your dog friend (if you don't have a dog friend within reach, just cuddle with a cat in a dog costume or bottle of Jack in a dog costume...) under the sheets for the rest of the day. Nick Santino, an actor who was on All My Children and Guiding Light, took the expressway to the heavens by downing a bunch of pills inside of his Upper West Side apartment last week. Nick left a suicide note where he wrote that he just couldn't go on after euthanizing his pit bull Rocco. Nick sent Rocco on a permanent nap, because his apartment building kept pressuring him to get rid of his dog. According to the New York Post, this is a piece of Nick's note:

“Today I betrayed my best friend and put down my best friend. Rocco trusted me and I failed him. He didn’t deserve this."

Nick's problem with the bitches at 1 Lincoln Plaza started last year when they threw down a bunch of strict dog rules including banning all pit bulls. Rocco was a pit bull, so he was automatically a target of the building. The ban didn't affect pit bulls already living in the building, but Nick's friends and neighbors say he was still given shit for having one. Rocco wasn't allowed to ride in the main elevators and he couldn't be left by himself in Nick's apartment for more than 9 hours. One of Nick's neighbors say that she never heard Rocco bark, but somebody still complained about his barking and the building punished Nick with a $200 fine. Another neighbor said that building management harassed and poked at Nick about Rocco for months and months. Rocco's vet told Nick that the pit bull was becoming aggressive and he blamed it on his own depression.

On his 47th birthday last week, Nick decided to say goodbye to Rocco and his dog was put to sleep. Nick called his ex-girlfriend at around 2 the next morning. A few hours later, Nick's body was found in his bedroom by the police. He had overdosed on pills.

Nick's friends say that just like his dog Rocco, his remains will be cremated.

Euthanizing a beloved dog friend you spent almost all your time with will fuck your emotions up and I'm sure Nick's were already raw from his building management turning his home life into a living prison hell. Damn. Living in NYC is no fucking joke. If I would've known, I would've told Nick to come live in my building since dog piss (not from mine, I think) is part of the decor and the sound of a barking ass dog (not mine, okay maybe sometimes) is our official soundtrack.

Robert Hegyes, mostly known for playing Sweathog Epstein on Welcome Back, Kotter, is entertaining the angels with his Chico Marx impersonation this morning, because he passed away of cardiac arrest at a hospital in New Jersey yesterday. Robert was only 60. John Travolta, this is your cue to take that dead papillon off of your head, put on an afro wig and mourn the loss of your TV friend.

Newsday says that Robert was in a bad way for a long time and he was taken to JFK Medical Center in Edison, NJ after he started complaining about chest pains. Those chest pains turned out to be a full cardiac arrest and Robert died at the hospital shortly after.

Robert was born and raised in New Jersey and started his acting career by doing theater in NYC. A quick second later, Robert got cast in Welcome Back, Kotter and the rest is Nick at Nite history! Robert later retired from acting and spent his time teaching and writing screenplays.

Rest in peace, Epstein. Your legacy will live on when the Welcome Back, Kotter movie FINALLY gets made with Phoebe Price in the role of lead extra.

Signed by, Epstein's mother

The answer to the question "Does true love last forever?" has just been answered with the sad image of Heidi Klum's vagina saying "One day you're in, ze next day you're aught!" to Seal's peen (which I'm pretty sure looks like this). Today is the day that Halloween and the meaning of love have joined hands and jumped to their deaths, because TMZ reports that Heidi Klum has kissed her marriage to Seal on both cheeks before saying "auf wiedersehen" to it after 6 years

This is not supposed to happen and TMZ doesn't have a lot of answers. They're hearing that Heidi will drop divorce papers into the hands of the L.A. County Superior Court by as early as next week, but they don't say specifically why she's clubbing her marriage. Heidi and Seal seemed like they were both queefing out hearts for each other when they were together in Aspen over the holidays, so some for real shit must've went down between then and now.

How can a couple who spread the cheese thick every year by renewing their vows in a lavish ceremony not make it? How can a couple who kept the costume industry alive by wearing lavish coordinating costumes every Halloween not last forever? How can a couple who has inspired me to use the word "LAVISH" twice in one paragraph not stay together till the end of time? WE NEED ANSWERS! Heidi and Seal owe it to us to gently sit us down at the table in the eat-in kitchen, give us each a juice box and tell us with puppets why daddy is moving out.

Oh vel, the only good thing to come out of this is that Heidi and Seal will renew their divorce vows in a LAVISH ceremony every year while wearing LAVISH costumes. Keep the lavishness alive, HeiSea!

As you go to iTunes to play "I'd Rather Go Blind" on repeat, legendary icon Etta James is flying up to heaven at the age of 73. Etta's manager Lupe De Leon (that's a really hot name) gave the sad news to CNN and added that she was surrounded by her husband and sons as she died in a hospital in Riverside, CA. Etta was diagnosed with Leukemia in 20120 and she also suffered from dementia and hepatitis C. Etta was days away from turning 74. Lupe De Leon (seriously, that's a hot name) said this to CNN about Etta:

" This is a tremendous loss for the family, her friends and fans around the world. I worked with Etta for over 30 years. She was my friend and I will miss her always."

Etta, of course, is well known for "At Last," but you really haven't lived until you've watched a seasoned chola groove against her steering wheel when K-Earth 101 plays "All I Could Do Was Cry."

Rest in peace, Etta. Your legendary voice will be heard forever and your legendary beauty legacy will live on through cholas who will try to emulate one of your best looks by pairing their Sharpie brows with a white blond dandelion puff. I can already see you saying "You tried" to them as you look down form heaven.

This morning, I took my dog down for his first public piss of the day and I wore a hat like this and glasses like these to do so. (You can judge me all you want, but it's raining like a bitch here and I think that's the heavens' way of throwing me shade and weeping over my jacked up look so you don't have to.) When I got downstairs, a dude who works in my building stopped mopping and said to me, "You look like a Chinese Ron from A Different World!" Just like that. I'm not Chinese, but I figured that any day that starts out with A Different World reference is going to be a good day. I was wrong, because I came upstairs and read about Sinead O'Connor trying to overdose her way to the afterworld again. Is the brown that difficult, Sinead? Damn.

Between trying to get the taste of activated charcoal out of her mouth, Sinead told The Sun (You know, because when you try to get a date with the Grim Reaper, you tell The Sun first!) that she swallowed a bunch of pills last Thursday in L.A. Shortly after Sinead overdosed, she let out a Twitter plea and asked her followers if they knew of a good shrink. Why Sinead didn't ask her on-and-off-again therapist husband for a recommendation is beyond me, but she eventually got the help she needs. Sinead told The Sun:

"I took an overdose. God obviously wants me around — though I can't think why. I just had to make a cry for help."

Can somebody ask Tim Tebow that since he's hogging up the invisible soup can connection to God, can he please take a moment from praying for another homerun (or whatever the hell they do in football) to ask our lord to tell him why he's keeping Sinead here. I'm pretty sure God will say that he's keeping Sinead around, because the difficult brown movement needs a public voice and she needs to hear that.

Before you read Pusuke his rights for having caca logs leaking out of his eyes, you should know he was 26 when was this picture was taken. You're going to have turd worms wiggling out of your eyes too when you're 26 in dogs years! Now on to the sad news, Pusuke, who used to be the oldest dog in the world, is humping chew toys in up in heaven after he died at his home in Sakura, Japan yesterday. Pusuke was 26 and was just three months away from shattering the record some more by turning 27. Some old beagle from the US made it all the way to 28 before dying in 2003.

Pusuke's owner says that he was pretty healthy until he started having breathing problems yesterday morning. Pusuke's owner went for a stroll and when she came back he was in a bad way and died shortly after. Pusuke told her local newspaper, "I think [Pusuke] waited for me to come home."

I'm not sure why she decided to go for a leisurely stroll while Pusuke was trying to push out a breath. I'm just going to assume she was out picking wild flowers to stick in Pusuke's hair so he could look pretty for the angels.

Rest in peace, Pusuke. Today, I will put some fucked up holiday bows in my dog's hair in your honor.

via HuffPo (Thanks Dorothy and everybody else who sent this in)

Patrice O'Neal, the comedian who gave you laughs on Web Junk 2.0, The Office, Arrested Development, Comedy Central's Charlie Sheen Roast and Opie & Anthony's Sirius show, died yesterday after suffering a diabetic-related stroke back in October. Opie & Anthony confirmed Patrice's death on Twitter today and his booking agent released this statement shortly after:

It is with terrible sadness we must report that Patrice O’Neal has passed away this morning at 7:00am due to the complications of the stroke he suffered on October 19. Many of us have lost a close and loved friend; all of us have lost a true comic genius. His mother, who was also his best friend, was at his side. Patrice is survived by his wife, Vondecarlo; his step daughter Aymilyon, sister Zinder, and his mother Georgia. The family wishes to thank all of the fans and friends who have expressed an outpouring of love and support for Patrice these past weeks. We ask that you please respect the family’s request for privacy at this difficult time.

Rest in peace, Sea Monster. You are now up in heaven, getting your time raped by the lady angels.

via EW

Okay, maybe just one comment: I hope that every raver at the rave that killed Shadow will accidentally buy bunk E for the rest of their raver days. Every time they put a tab in their mouth and realize it's dyed baby Tylenol, they'll think about poor tortured Shadow. :(

Source: The Sun via Doodybrain (Thanks Mel)