Memaw Crotch

The hottest coochie coochie in the business was out with her husband in Hollywood last night. They were walking around some parking lot. I think that's how a lot of old folks spend their time. They dance around in parking lots, talking to strangers.

Charo is legend and I would ride down the rainbows that come pouring out of her chocha, but why did she wear those shoes with that top?! The better question is: "Why do I give a donkey's dong?!"

And her husband is basically over it. He looks like he's ready for an oatmeal bath and a warm beer. Over it. He's thinking, "If I have to hear her say 'coochie coochie' one more fucking time...."

P.S. - Yes, it is a very slooooooooowwww day.

Erica Kane has been announced as just one of the bitches who will dance for some broke ass trophy in "Dancing with the Has Beens" this season. Although, they will have to change the name to "Dancing with the Has Beens and La Lucci...and Cloris Leachman." Yes, 82-year-old Cloris will also shake her grand memaw crotch on the dance floor. Methinks Erica Kane and Frau Blücher will battle it out in the end! It's the year of the memaw. I can feel it.

Even though Kim KardASSIAN effed up her foot last night, she will still dance! Does she realize that the dance floor doesn't have a strip pole? Kim said she didn't cut her foot on a glass coffee table. She cut it on a broken mirror underneath a desk. She said she tried to push away with her foot and got cut up. So I guess it is true. Her fat ass got all the brains.

Here's the rest of the cast with who they are partnered with:

Toni Braxton (with Alec Mazo), singer, 40 - Expect a lot of super slutty costumes.
Lance Bass (with Lacey Schwimmer) ultra gay singer, 29 - Lacey and Lance?! I'm already annoyed.
Ted McGinley (with Inna Brayer) Jefferson D'Arcy, 50 - But can he do the Bundy Bounce?
Cloris Leachman (with Corky Ballas) Frau Blücher, 82 - YES!!
Warren Sapp (with Kym Johnson) NFL sports person, 35 - NEXT!!!
Rocco DiSpirito (with Karina Smirnoff) flaming chef, 31 - So there's TWO gays this season!
Kim Kardashian (with Mark Ballas) amateur porn star with a fat ass, 27 - SKANK!
Maurice Green ( with CHERYL BURKE!!!) Olympic sports person, 34 - Eh!
Misty May-Treanor (with Maksim Chmerkovskiy) Olympic sports person, 31 - Maksim is finally back!
Susan Lucci (with Tony Dovolani) LEGEND!, 61 - THE WINNER!
Jeffrey Ross (with Edyta Sliwinska) comedian, 42 - Heh?
Cody Linley (with Julianne Hough) Disney whore, 18 - No.
Brooke Burke (with Derek Hough) big tittied robot, 36 - First bitch to go!

Fuckity fuck fuck! Just when my brains were starting to forget about that annoying mop head Cheryl Burke, she returns! La Lucci better sweep with the dance floor with Mop Head! And Rocco and Lance are totally going to do the horizontal mambo off the dance floor.

Source

The Vadge's roided-up vag returned to the stage tonight in all its muscly glory! This 50-year-old woman seriously has a fucking six-pack on her gooch! It's insane! She probably has muscles on her teeth!

Vadge's "Dry & Sour Sticky & Sweet" tour opened up in Cardiff, Walsh tonight. 40,000 vadgeloonies watched as she thrusted her memaw crotch and flexed her veins. I better not joke. This bitch's pussy bone could probably beat the fuck out of me. Shit, if Vadge's pussy bone was in a fight with a tiger, shark and grizzly bear - her pussy bone would win in 10-seconds flat. I don't know how she can hold that microphone without breaking it into a million pieces. It must be made out of Kryptonite.

Anyroidy, Brit Brit's video played during the show as expected. Click here to see that mess. It's nothing we haven't seen before. It's just Brit going crazy in an elevator and then saying "Tt's Britney bitch" at the end. It's probably just from her home movies. Vadge really should have gotten Chrissy Crocker to do this shit instead.

Here's many more pictures of Vadge and her powerful memaw crotch. She also wore some heart-shaped Lolita sunglasses. More like Old-lita. Oh damn! Her memaw crotch is coming for me!

Next to In-N-Out (see below), Angelyne is my favorite thing about Los Angeles. The Billboard Queen proves that just because you're 150, doesn't mean you have to dress like it!

Angelyne is truly a precious daffodil blowing in the summer breeze. The only thing missing from her luxurious ensemble is a pair of Shauna Sand's exquisite lucite heels.

Did you know Dyan Cannon, star of "Heaven Can Wait," is like a 100 years old or something? Ok, she's really 71, but still! She looks hot for someone that was born during the Great Depression! I wonder if she lived in Hooverville?

She was also Cary Grant's fourth wife! Ancient! Anciently hot. Yes, I know she's been under the knife at least a dozen times, but she hasn't crossed over into Joan Van Ark territory, yet. I remember when I saw her on "Ally McBeal," and found out she was like 60 at the time! Memaw with a sexy bod.

Anyway, here's the total GILF leaving Mr. Chow on Thursday night. I also threw in some pictures of that old bag Doris Roberts. She's only 6 or 7 years older than Dyan.

*Images Removed Per Request*

Helen Mirren showed dumb twats how it's really doing while vacationing in Italy with her husband, Taylor Hackford. Helen turns 63 in just a few days. She looks hotter than skanks that are a third of her age. Wait...is that a little baby bump I see? Knocked up!!!! I'm joking. I don't even think my stomach is that flat. Shit. Lunchtime lipo, here I come!

And yes, I'd definitely motorboat.

Please take this quick moment from reading a bunch of dumb shit you don't care about on Dlisted to examine this very important clip of Suzanne Somers on HSN from Break.com. Is she wearing flesh-colored panties or is that her bare cougar pussy? I would think a woman of her age would have a fluffier cougar chocha. Although, I think my mommy might.........I need to stop myself. Not today.

Suzanne's memaw cooch looks kind of mangy, like it could use a flea dip. What am I saying?! I'm talking about the legend known as Suzanne Somers! I have spent many a drunken night, sitting on my sofa and watching hours of her menopausal rants on HSN. I owe her my life! I'd give her memaw cooch a tongue lashing if I had the chance. I know, it's too early for this fuckery. I sowwy.

VIA ONTD

Why in pedo hell is Miley Cyrus the famous bitch in the family when her granny is the one with all the looks, glamour and sex appeal? That bitch is fucking gorgeous.

She also looks like she can skin the fuck out of a possum and make sweet tea sent from heaven. Seriously, memaws always make the best sweet tea. And you know Memaw Cyrus is head bitch at Palais Royal where she works the morning shift as lead cashier.

Less Miley and more Memaw Cyrus!

Here's some more pictures of annoying ass Miley filming the "Hannah Montana" movie in Los Angeles with Vanessa Williams. Oh Vanessa! Do you need a paycheck this bad?

Yesterday, I posted about these two hot gayelle memaws from San Francisco that were planning to finally make it legal again after 55 years together. Well, they did it! Phyllis Lyon, 84, and Del Martin, 87, reportedly became the first gayelle couple married in the state of California at 5:01pm in San Francisco's City Hall.

Phyllis told the crowd at City Hall, "We're very happy and we're very grateful for all of you coming." Click here to see video of these hot married memaws cutting the cake.

Congrats again to these two crazy kids. You know that wheelchair was rocking all night long.

Kim Cattrall will flash her memaw flaps for another series on HBO. Emmy from "Mannequin" will star in "Sensitive Skin," a comedy about a NYC wife and mother who rediscovers her sexuality. Samantha Jones, take two. Will Kim just start making Skinemax movies already? Shannon Tweed needs a successor.

"Sensitive Skin," is an adaptation of a British comedy series with the same name. The show ran for two seasons on BBC Two and starred Joanna Lumley. Fuck Kim! They should have gotten Joanna to do this shit again.

Thanks Kathleen