Jenna Jameson

Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent never seriously came out and said that they've been rubbing their nipples against each other, but UsWeekly is saying that they were down low fuck partners at one point. Chelsea has since moved on to Uma Thurman's tossed piece, Andre Balazs, and 50 Cent has been left to clean up the broken pieces of his piggy bank heart. A source says that 50 Cent got the leaky tingles when thinking about all the things he could do with the bulging skinny peen on her forehead, but Chelsea didn't feel the same way. Chelsea took a sledgehammer to 50's open heart.

The source went on to say that Chelsea is on new dick, so when 50 sent her a bunch of gifts for Christmas, "she sent them back. She put a note on one that said, 'I can buy my own gifts.'" Chelsea and 50 were both in Sundance recently, but they stayed away from each other. 50 is still heartbroken over how Chelsea has treated him.

Fuck me with a stack of quarters. Like 50 Pennies is really having a Jennifer Aniston moment over Chelsea sending his stupid presents back? Yes, the image of 50 bundled up in his Hoodie Footie Snuggle Suit and quietly weeping over a framed picture of Chelsea while nibbling on pieces of raw Pillsbury cinnamon roll dough is so real I can practically touch. Please. George Washington Squared has the attention span of an ADD-ridden toddler on crack. Anybody who has spent time on his Twitter page knows this. So 50 probably got sad for a quick minute before the screensaver in his head kicked in and he moved on to the next shit.

In other Chelsea news, Jenna Jameson Tweeted this last night:

HuffPo thinks that a "Jenna Jameson is raunchy" comment from Chelsea is what triggered this swift kick to the vag bone. But are we sure that Jenna didn't mean this as a compliment? I mean, Chelsea Handler is 35 (we're still waiting to see the receipts for that one) and Jenna Jameson is 36, so who in parched clit hell is she calling old? AND Jenna Jameson made her fortune from being one of the biggest professional whores of all professional whores. And yes, you could stuff Chelsea into a bag of dehydrated apricots at Trader Joe's and nobody would know the difference, but Jenna's pussy could get a second job at Home Depot as a rented sander. So again, this Tweet must be a "Welcome to the Club" air kiss from Jenna.

When it rains it pours for Jenna Jameson. Specifically, it rained baby barf all over her last night. Just a few days after Jenna Jameson's husband Baby Huey got arrested for allegedly getting violent on her ass, she was taken to the hospital via ambulance after one of her twin sons started spewing the insides of his stomach all over the place. You would think that Jenna is used to being sprayed...Okay, I'll stop!

Jenna tells TMZ that her son Journey started projectile vomiting at 11 at night. Jenna was home by herself, so she decided to call 911. The paramedics shuffled Jenna and her son off to the hospital, where Journey was given fluids before going home a couple of hours later. The doctors told Jenna her son probably has the stomach flu.

Hm. While the doctors think her son's vom party was a direct result of him having the flu, I think it was the exact moment he realized his name is fucking JOURNEY. Dude just couldn't hold on to that feeling.

If you stopped caring about this story two snaps after it broke, just focus on Apollonia's bodacious titty area in the picture above.

Jenna Jameson and her husband Tito Ortiz have backed away from the allegations they both made on Monday. Jenna claimed she suffered two torn ligaments after Baby Huey tossed her into a tub. Baby Huey claimed Jenna was cracked out on OxyContin at the time. Well, now lawyers for both sides have labeled it a "misunderstanding."

Jenna says: "What actually happened has now been dramatically distorted and misinterpreted and remarks that both Tito and I made after the police arrived reflect the state of shock that we were both in."

Baby Huey is now saying that he should've never accused Jenna of being high on OxyContin. He jumped to conclusions after finding two pills in the house.

A source tells TMZ that Baby Huey would've lost his UFC contract worth millions of dollars if he was charged with domestic abuse.

Baby Huey and Jenna can kindly take their bows now and exit stage left. CURTAIN DOWN. Then they need to use some of their millions to buy a handful of clues. Shit, while they're at it, they should buy me one too. Obviously, I need one since I've been posting about them over and over again during the past few days. Wait, can I trade my clue in for those two OxyContin pills?

After Tito Ortiz was arrested for allegedly whooping Jenna Jameson's ass, she brought her twin boys outside to talk to the media about the incident. If it was me, I would be inside watching the last 45-minutes of What's Love Got To Do With It for inspiration, but Jenna does things differently I guess.

Jenna said that Baby Huey tossed her into the bath tub after she said something "very hurtful to his ego." Jenna suffered two tore up ligaments in her shoulder. Jenna left for Las Vegas yesterday to get away from his ass.

After Baby Huey was released on bail, he held a press conference with his lawyer to give his side of the story. Baby Huey swears he never put his hands on Jenna. He says that she's a longtime OxyContinhead who had a relapse yesterday. Baby Huey's lawyer said:

"Jenna has been fighting a battle with OxyContin addiction for the past year. For Tito and her family this has been an uphill battle. Unfortunately this morning she had a relapse. Tito was trying to help her, she has threatened suicide before. Tito has done everything in his power to protect her privacy and the privacy of their children.

When you're dealing with people on OxyContin they don't always have the best sense of balance. Jenna and Tito have two children together, they planned on spending the rest of their lives together. They want nothing more than to work together on this."

Jenna denies she's thirsty for OxyContin and said Baby Huey's accusation is the "last nail in the coffin."

What I want to know is what did Jenna say to Baby Huey? Did she tell him that when he fucks her it feels like he's throwing a flea's leg down an airport hangar? Did she tell him that he's as hung as her belly button? Did she tell him that his jizz load smells like foie gras? This is what we need to know.

In the meantime, here's some pictures of Jenna, her father, her twinsies and their hot nanny hanging outside her house yesterday. Since Jenna has been through some shit, I will refrain from talking about how she looks like Muffy from Antz after getting the Wildenstein Special.

Jenna Jameson's husband Tito Ortiz was put into handcuffs this afternoon after he allegedly got physical on her ass during a fight. TMZ says that the police showed up to the home Tito and Jenna share with their twin kids after someone called 911 to report a disturbance.

Tito is currently sitting in a jail cell in Huntington Beach, CA. Jenna told TMZ's camera dudes that she will press charges against Tito. Jenna also said, "My babies are alright ... everything's OK .. he's in jail."

I'm probably alone on this one, but I always thought Baby Huey was a gentle giant out of the ring who named all the ladybugs in his garden and wouldn't even hurt a furry caterpillar. It seems that my ass was wrong. Roid rage is a real thing.

Baby Huey needs to take a page out of Mike Tyson's book and find solace in the pigeons. The pigeons will calm his angry ass down. Or maybe they will sense the evil in him and peck his eyes out. Whatever comes first.

The theme of the month is: whores having twins! This past weekend, Charlie Sheen welcomed twinsies to the world and now Jenna Jameson has popped out a double in Newport Beach, CA. That's what AVN.com says.

Jenna queefed out her twins sometime this morning. Seriously, she just opened up, let the wind blow and out came the babies. They probably came out swinging on their umbilical cords through her cracked sugar walls. A bright light came shining out of her snatch. It's like when Locke fell down the well on Lost. Only in reverse!

No word on what she named her babehs. I'm going to take a wild guess and say she wrote down Cunnilingus Sixty Nine and Fellatio Money Shot on their birth certificates.

Jenna Jameson is knocked up with Baby Huey's twins, so she doesn't think it's a good idea to have a silk couch around the house. If you want to lay on Jenna's stank, it will cost you at least $9,500. Here's the description from the eBay auction:

This barely used silk Casa Armani sofa belongs to Jenna Jameson. Now that she and her beau Tito have purchased a new home and are having twins, they have decided that a silk couch might not be necessary.

The original purchase price was at least double what it is being auctioned for.

If you replace the words "silk" and "couch" with "sick" and "cooch," the auction might make more sense to you. Jenna's sick cooch will set you back 9500 clams, but you'll end up paying twice as much for the ass transplant you'll need after catching all kinds of jungle diseases from that shit. As soon as you sit down, you'll scream, "O mah Jeebus! Mah ass done combusted!" Normally when that happens to me, I just put a little Vaseline on it and then shake it off, but I don't think that will work in this case.

VIA Socialite Life

Jenna Jameson has confirmed that she's pregnant with twins. Yawn. Who isn't knocked up with two babies nowadays? Bitch needed to tell us she was holding 8 babies in there for me to be slightly amused. And yes, she can hold 8 babies in her bony body. They can all chill out in her vagina cave. Shit. We can all chill out in there and play a game of dodgeball while watching the acrobats of Cirque du Soleil perform above us.

Anybigvaggy, Jenna announced the lovely news on her MySpace. Let me sum it up for you:

Yes everyone, I can officially confirm that Tito and I are expecting twins! I had my second ultrasound today and was greeted by two big healthy babies with pounding hearts. I can't even express the extreme serenity that came over me once I saw my children inside me. It has been my dream to have children for an exremely long time, and I truly feel like finally... the time is right and god has blessed me. I have never felt more like a woman, or more alive.

I have officially gained 7 pounds so far, and am planning on a lot more. I crave fruit by the gallon... ornages and pineapple are at the top of my list. Cereal at 3 am suits me every night!

Is it just me or did you feel like you needed a hot bath in bleach after reading that? It might be my gutter tramp mind.

Congrats to Porn Mommy and Baby Huey! If she doesn't name them Dildo and Ducky, I'm going to be very disappointed.

Tito Ortiz, we already know how big it is. You don't have to show us. And it's not something you should be proud of.

Don't ask me how this happened, but Jenna Jameson might be pre...preg...pregnant. I can't even type that out. There have been rumors that Jenna is knocked up after she announced her retirement from porn earlier this year.

A source told Page Six, "She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she's postponed everything. She's completely thrilled, this is something she's wanted for a very long time."

How did they manage that? I'm convinced Baby Huey has roly poly dick and we already know Jenna's coochie played the bat cave in "Batman Begins." You know when he sticks it in, he hears an echo.

And I'm not sure these two should combine genes. She's going to pop out a really skank duck who will never figure out the answer to 2 + 2. The answer is 4, right?

Jenna Jameson was partying at London's Chinawhite club the other night when she was reportedly thrown out for allegedly attempting to do drugs in the bathroom. The Sun reports that earlier in the night, Jenna did a raunchy dance for players from Chelsea United. After her finished with them, she tried to use the bathroom, but was immediately stopped by the attendant.

A source said, "She just asked if one of her friends could go in with her in the toilets to touch up her make-up before facing the paparazzi. But the toilet attendant said no, and kicked off. The bouncers called us American pigs, which brought Jenna to tears."

Jenna's not a pig! She's more like a turtle/lizard creature. People shouldn't be so judgmental! She was trying to get her protein for the day.