Guidos

At the CMT Music Awards in Nashville last night, John Mayer and The Situation competed in some kind of douche-off by lifting up their shirts. The Situation does get extra points for having a belly button that looks like a dehydrated no-no hole, but John Mayer easily wins this shit.

Not only is John pushing his shit out on purpose, but his peen hole is also blowing out hot air to make his bulge area look bulgier. Well douched! And I bet there wasn't a dirty vagina in the place.

Victoria GAUDY's Long Island mafia castle is going into foreclosure, because her raggedy ass owes $650,000. The Gottis lived in the mansion during filming of Growing Up Gotti. The New York Daily News says that Victoria hasn't made one single payment to Chase in over two years. The six-acre property is listed at $3 million, marked down from $4 million. The bodies buried in the backyard are included!

Victoria blames the whole thing on her ex-husband, Carmine Agnello. She said that he took a $856,000 loan against the house with her knowing about it. Victoria went on to yap, "I won a house that was a booby prize riddled with debt."

This mess would've been easily averted! The Gottis should've stopped using hairspray, bronzer, fake tan diarrhea, peroxide and lip gloss for one week and they would've have enough money saved to pay off the damn bank! I almost added "eyebrow waxing" to that list, but that should always be priority #1!

Heidi Montag's "Higher' has finally been retired as my new ringtone by Carmine Gotti Agnello's "Young, Hot Rich." Yes, THAT Gotti. I don't know whether to poop, laugh, cry, vomit or all of the above. I still can't get it out of my fucking head. I have the sudden urge to get a spray tan and Depp gel up my hair.

I tried to get all the lyrics down, but I was too busy laughing my ass off. This is actually the perfect 420 companion. Here's some sample lyrics to help you get the gist of Carmine's skills:

"I'm young hot, I'm a typical flirt
But I'll put the flowers on you like a tropical shirt"

"Don't leave your girl 'round me
Unless you want your girl's lips to be around C"

"Hot on blabba
Stay up all night, I don't need Viagra
Girls just want to show me off
Dudes don't got balls enough to blow me off
I'm rich and underaged
Still spendin all the money that grandpa's spade"

At the end of the day, I would still do Carmine. WELL! He'll put flowers on me like a tropical shirt and tropical shirts are pretty!

VIA ONTD