Chichis

YES, I know this is my second Wino Titty Post in a row, but you must breathe these new pictures in to fully appreciate her new crack rocks. In the post below, I said that I wasn't a fan of Wino's new tits, but I take it all back! It's like I'm falling in love with Wino all over again. I mean, she's bringing tears to my nipples by busting out poses you usually only see in an adult services ad on Craigslist. Look at her chichis just flopping out of her top! Beauty and elegance!

Although, she might not even know her breasts are going rogue since I'm guessing she's lost all feeling in them. It doesn't matter! What does matter is that she's the eptiome of grace and elegance here. Jodie Marsh better step up her game, because Wino is going to snatch away her title as England's Finest Rose.

And just so you know, there's nipples galore in these pictures below. Nipples that can cut a line and snort it up.

Amy Wino's daddy already confirmed that she got new chichis put in, but he didn't tell us that she went with size: BABY HEAD. To be more specific, size: FAT BABY HEAD. Wino is serious about her titty implants.

You know that I'll throw down for a pair of magnificent chichis, but nothing good can come out of Wino's new pair. I mean, they look harder than a stale crack rock, so Wino is definitely going to use 'em to knock a bitch out. So if you sass Wino, you'll get a crack-covered loogie in the eye and a speedball titty on your head.

Thankfully, that didn't happen at tonight's Q Awards, but it came close. She was supposed to present an award to her friends The Specials, but bitch showed up on Wino time (aka minutes late). While The Specials were accepting their award, Wino pulled a Kanye by showing up on stage and crashing their speech. When The Daily Mail asked Wino why she was late, she shot back with, "What’s it to you, I was doing my hair. Fuck off." I think Wino meant that she was literally doing her hair. You know, humping on her crackhive. They are close like that.

Wino's shenanigans didn't stop there. When Robert Plant was on stage accepting an award, Wino started heckling from the back of the room. Robert stopped for a quick second, realized it was just the crackie acting up again and went on with his speech.

So, there you go. Brand new chesticles, but the same ole' fuckery!

Amy Wino's daddy Mitch not only confirmed that his daughter got her chichis pumped up, but he also said that they look "great."

On the British TV show This Morning (via People), Mitch Wino was asked how the former Crackie of Camden is doing, and he responded with, "Fantastic, fantastic. Her boobs are great as well. I shouldn't have said that should I? She looks absolutely fantastic." Mitch also wanted everyone to know that he didn't pay for his daughter's tit job.

I really shouldn't put Mitch in the same category as Papa Joe just yet. If a reporter asked Papa Joe about his daughter's breast situation, he would've busted into a crotch seizure, and then ran to the nearest liquor store to cool his bits on a block of ice. As far as I know, Mitch's privates stayed calm.

The theme for the day really is balloons on the loose. Katie Price kept with that theme by bringing her twin Harvey heads out in London tonight. I still don't think Katie's boobs are high enough. It's kind of demure. Homegirl should've rang up Snoop Dogg and asked him to hook her tittays up with some hydraulics. That way they could bounce up past her head. Basically, when Katie walks into a room, it should look like two gigantic chichi balls crushing a peacock to death. Need more booooooobs.

Just for the record, I'm sure that wasn't the only peencock laying on Katie's lap tonight.

Meghan McCain was feeling "spontaneous" last night, so she posted this picture of her book on Twitter. This started some shit, and it didn't take long for Meghna's followers to throw the "slut" word at her. Usually when someone calls me a slut, I curtsy and say "thank you," but Meghan took this as insult. Go figure.

She said she might quit Twitter, because "what once was fun now just seems like a vessel for harassment." A vessel for harassment?! That sounds like something I'd try to jump on after too many glass of Strawberry Hill.

As much as I love a pair of magnificent chichis, Meghan's cleavage kind of looks like twin Dick Cheney heads hiding in her shirt. That is every shade of NOT RIGHT.

(Thanks Shannon)

Lift up your shirt, and raise your tittays up in the air for Christina Hendricks (aka Joan from Mad Men)! Christina married fellow actor Geoffrey Arend at Il Buco restaurant in NYC yesterday. The two got engaged earlier this year.

When the officiant asked Geoffrey to give his vows, he probably started slobbering at the mouth and mumbled something about mammaries. The same thing happens to me too. Shit, I've had to re-write this post a dozen times, because all I want to write is: CHICHICHICHICHICHICHICHIIIIIS.

In all seriousness, congrats to Christina and the hobo she married. While the back of Christina's dress looks like origami gone wrong, her breasts of wonder look absolutely amazing as always.

Mimi and her Hello Titty balls came out to support Precious at the New York Film Festival this past weekend, but one of the movie's stars Mo'Nique was nowhere to be found. Yes, they even checked the Arby's down the street. Bitch wasn't there.

Precious is currently making the film festival rounds, and many critics think the movie will get several Oscar nominations including Best Picture, Best Actress for Gabby Sidibe (the girl in the purple below) and Best Supporting Actress for Mo'Nique. You'd think that since there's talk of Mo'Nique possibly getting the golden Oscar dildo (you know that's what Kevin Spacey uses his for) for this, she'd be out there whorin' it up. But Mo'Nique has been missing from nearly every promotional event for Precious. Some say that by Mo'Nique not playing the game, she's ruining her Oscar chances.

The New York Daily News says that Mo'Nique is refusing to pimp out the movie and her own performance for free. Mo'Nique is reportedly demanding a $100,000 appearance fee, even though the likes of Mimi and Lenny Kravitz (who are both in that shit) haven't asked for a dime. A source said, "Mo'Nique said she signed on to do this film for a small amount of money. She said she didn't care about 'no Oscar' - all that mattered was 'those Benjamins!' Because Oprah and Tyler Perry are backing the film, she feels as though there should be a budget to pay for her promotional duties."

Mo'Nique responded to the claims by saying, "When people say, 'You care more about money than winning an Oscar,' well, what does an Oscar mean? An Oscar means more work when you win it, and that means more money! I couldn't eat that Oscar. Everybody needs money, baby. That's how we survive, right?"

Mo'Nique is selling her eating skills short! I'm sure she could eat that thing if she wrapped it in puff pastry and poured nacho cheese sauce on top! But seriously, I can't hate on a bitch who says "it's all about those Benjamins." Those are the truest words ever spoken. GIT THAT MONEY!

That being said, somebody should really tell Mo'Nique about a little service called Cash4Gold! Imagine what they'd give her for an Oscar (SPOILER ALERT: Probably two rolls of quarters and a $20 gift certificate to Fingerhut)?!

Christina Hendricks' fiance wakes up to her magnificent chichis every single morning, but they still manage to knock the wind out of him every time he sees them. MAN DOWN! You can't put any blame on him, because looking at Christina's mounds of wonder really is a spiritual experience. Really, I see the face of Jesus, God, Buddha, Allah and the Brangie twin messiahs whenever I look at them.

I'm gayer than the Disney Channel and I would give up my left ass lip (it's kind of limp anyway) to spend the rest of my days motorboating on Christina's Lake Chichis.

Here's more pictures of Christina's holy tittay balls at the Emmys last night. I also threw in some pictures of the rest of the Mad Men cast, because they won Best Dramz.

Somebody get on the phone to Chris Nolan and tell him that if Catwoman is in the next Batman movie, Aretha Franklin is just woman for the JOB! The chichi queen stepped out in NYC last night wearing cat print from head to cankles.

Really, if this isn't the new Catchichis, I don't know who is. Actually, Queen Aretha is better than Catwoman! She doesn't need some stupid leather whip to defend herself with. Queen Aretha subdues her enemies with the giant link of sausages she always keeps hidden in between her mounds of wonder. And Queen Aretha can meow without even opening her mouth. Whenever Aretha glides across a room, her nipples meow like ten dozen cats in heat. Pounce at 'em, Aretha!

The current VP of the Magnificent Chichis Alliance, Salma Hayek, went to the the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles on Wednesday night all ready to get her eat on, but the restaurant's hostess tried to block her from feeding her hunger. BITCH HONGRAY! According to Radar, Salma showed up with a few friends and without a reservation. When the hostess told Salma that she didn't have a table for them, the chichis hit the floor!

Apparently, a hurricane of Spanish words came pouring out of Salma's mouth. The hostess tried to calm Salma down by telling her she could have the next available table, but that still didn't stop her. When Salma's girlfriends finally told her to turn it off, she cooled down a bit and started bitching in English. Salma only stopped when the hostess finally seated them.

Salma, that's why you stop at McDonald's for an appetizer before you get to the restaurant! When the hostess at IHOP hands me one of those stupid vibrating pagers and tells me to wait, I simply stick a fry in my mouth hole to keep from bitching her ass out for keeping me from delicious pancakes.

And I bet Salma's chichis of wonder look amaaaaaaazing when she gets mad. Like two volcanos ready to BURST FORTH! I'm surprised her heaving angry bosom didn't knock out one of the hostess' eyes.

UPDATE: Salma's rep says this story is made out of LIES!!!!!!!!!