Chichis

Titty time! So there's a few pictures going around that is supposedly Vanessa Hudgens with her Disney balloons out again. Yes, Vanessa Hudgens does this sort of thing, but how else is she supposed to pass her time while Zac Efron spends hours in the bathroom partaking in a little bronzer bukkake? I mean, she has a camera phone and she has tittays, so why not! Although, I do feel like I've seen more of her nipples than Zac Efron has. Actually, I probably have. Technically.

If Zac sees these new pictures of Vanessa's Mickey Mouse ears, he'll have the giggles for hours.

Anyway, (NSFW) CLICK HERE to see a few pictures of what might be Vanessa Hudgens doing it Disney-style. Git it, bitch! Make Donald Duck's beak puckah!

UPDATE: Image and link removed and replaced with a picture of her sessy ass father.

Cock robber and icon to all mega sluts with zero morals (I bow down), Sienna Miller, said that she almost lost her saggies on the set of G.I. Joe. when a fire ball got a little to close to them.

During a press conference for the movie in Sydney, Sienna said, "Luckily it wasn't my breasts, it was the bit in-between. It got a bit burnt when an explosion got a bit close."

I wonder if Balthazar Getty's wife worked in the explosions department on G.I. Joe? But what I really want to know is, how did her titty alley get burned a little, but her nipples still lived to the tale? Hmmmm. Something in the milk ain't! Maybe the truth is that Prince Hot Ginge tried to chichi fuck her and she couldn't take the heat?

Rub my chest with SPF INFINITY, keep the fire extinguisher close and come at me, Hot Ginge!

Image: Bauer Griffin

BAM! If you weren't temporarily knocked out by these gigantic Tupperware titty bowls, then you'll see that they are attached to Katie Price. Bitch came out in a big way to Michelle Heaton's birthday party last night in London. For chichi real. My nipples would be growling in anger if I was Michelle Heaton. It's supposed to be her time and here comes Katie's spotlight breaking tittttttays (so big they need extra Ts). It looks like she's smuggling two Harveys underneath there!

The child beauty pageant contestant Katie stole that dress from is going to be pissed when she gets it back all stretched out and shit.

Amber Finney's chichis were the co-stars of the video that made the internet rounds last week and she's explaining why she had a babeh squirrel down her shirt. The video was taken by Warren, Ohio detectives during an interview with Amber about a drive-by shooting she might have witnessed.

Amber says the explanation is simple. A friend brought her an injured baby squirrel right before she was scheduled to meet with the cops. Amber didn't want to leave it alone, so she stuffed it right between her titty cleavage. I guess she felt that dying of suffocation or embarrassment was better than chilling out in a big, airy shoe box.

Amber went on to explain, "It had a broken leg, and I didn't want to leave him alone. You can't take animals into the jail, and it was the only place I could put him.'' Amber's chocha den was already occupied by a family of beavers and they had just extended their lease.

So basically Amber is just a regular St. Francis of Assisi. More like St. Francis of Chichis.

When the squirrel jumped out during her interview with Detective Mackey, Amber put him back in and kept on like some weird shit just didn't go down. Amber was afraid she would get in trouble, but Detective Mackey didn't say anything. Detective Mackey explained, "She didn't acknowledge it, so I didn't. I didn't know if I would embarrass her or what.''

At first, Amber was madder than fish grease and threatened to sue the cops, but now she's loving all the attention. Expect a Vh1 reality show starring Amber's titty balls and a bunch of slutty, drunk squirrels in 3...2...

Amber says the baby squirrel is no longer taking up space in her cleavage. She released it back into the wild. Poor squirrel is never going to be the same. When he sees a pair of plumpy bitties, he's going to go into shock and have the same reaction as this hot bitch on Maury. Never be the same again.

Squirrels usually pop out of panties, but I've never heard of one popping out of a ho's cleavage before. The cops in Ohio were interrogating a bitch about a murder when a furry friend jumped out to say "Heeeeeelp me." The lady didn't miss a beat and popped that squirrel back in like she was playing a game of Whack-A-Mole.

The police aren't sure what the deal is with the squirrel and they didn't ask. FOR WHY?! This is a question you ask! If a fucking squirrel jumps out of a person's shirt, you ask that bitch where it came from. I mean, maybe the mommy squirrel was in between her nalgas and the daddy squirrel was chilling out under her fopa.

You know Aretha Franklin is snorting at this, because she probably has a whole petting zoo in between her magnificent chichis.

P.S. - That squirrel is definitely not happy.

VIA Buzzfeed

I proudly present Padma Lakshmi with the best dressed award at Saturday night's White Castle Correspondent's dinner. Or should I say, the breast undressed award. Padma saluted the President by practically baring her tittay knobs. That is definitely what this country needs more of: NIPPIES!

And I love that there were kids around to gaze at her skin pacifiers. But to quote Cassie: "NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE!" Well the truth is, that kid might not have seen a titty before. But he has now thanks to our bitch Padma!

*Images Removed Per Request*

Well, good morning to some of you. Now here's two little pierced nippies to go with your Sanka. It's just what you ordered, I know. This is Cassie, she's a singer-type, and apparently someone broke into her computer and leaked nekkid pictures of her for the whole entire universe to see (SPOILER ALERT: The evil doer rhymes with Lassie). Seriously, does she have an album coming out or something?

Cassie seemed to shrug off the whole thing when she Twittered about it a few hours ago. SLUT:

IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER...THAT'S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE.

She's right. A titty is a titty. We've all seen 'em, had tea with 'em and probably discussed some serious political shit with 'em. So, it's not that shocking. But then I picture Diddy's nasty ass mouth all over Cassie's chichis and that gives me the dry heavies. How many of those nipple bars do you think Diddy has melted with his hot stank bref? It's a good think he's damn rich or I'd have slap Cassie in the mouth for getting with that.

It's also a good thing that she took these pictures before she had that unfortunate incident with a pair of hair clippers, because that would've ruined everything. Bare and pierced tittay (NSFW, duh) is after the jump.

Salma Hayek, her miracle chichis and François-Henri Pinault all got married for a second time over the weekend in Venice. The first time Salma married money bags it was one of those fast weddings at city hall in Paris, so Francois didn't really get a chance to show everyone how really fucking rich he is. That's what the second wedding was for.

This shit looks like it was too fancy for my ass. I would've been asking for mini-bagel-pizzas and sparking Andre. Damn. I mean, they were even wearing masks. Rich people are so weird. I bet they had butt wipers wearing tuxedos in every bathroom stall and drank champagne out of crystal flutes filled with diamonds. I can't hate, because Salma that money, so she can buy the Isle of Lesbos and freely frolic on the beaches with her down-low partner in pussy Penny Cruz. Speaking of, you know Penny had to bite on a dildo when the preacher asked if anybody objected to this shit!

Here's all the fancies leaving or arriving at the Queen Chichis wedding. Guests included Anna Wintour, Penny Cruz, Javier Bardem, Gael Garcia Bernal, Lily Cole, Ashley Judd, Charlize Theron, Zhang Ziyi and Bono. When Salma's chichis fully cover from this party, she better do something about the swine flu. The cure is in her miracle chichis.

Do you remember Sheyla Hershey? She was the gorgeous natural beauty who always dreamed of having chichis each the size of a bloated sumo wrestler who hasn't went poopy in weeks? Sheyla wanted to have MMM implants put in, but nobody would do it in the U.S, because it will kill you. So she rolled the life dice and had those suckers installed in Brazil. Sheyla lived to the tale! Although, she almost died a couple of times, because her Goodyear titty balls crushed her lungs.

Well, Sheyla is back where she belongs, in the spotlight! She was on The Insider last night and she's 7-months pregnant! Once again, Sheyla might die. You see, Sheyla has heart problems which really isn't shocking seeing as though she has an entire class of fat kids sitting on her heart. Per doctor's orders, Sheyla had her MMMs taken out while she's pregnant. She plans to have them put back in after she gives birth.

But wait, there's more! Sheyla had a tummy tuck before she got knocked up, so her baby girl is all smooshed in there which could cause complications later. Sheyla is basically going to give birth to a pancake.

Let me ask a question. Is having a pair of magnificent chichis really worth all of this pain and suffering? DUHHH!!!!

Cindy Crawford is fucking 43, she's fucking hot, she's fucking nekkid and she's fucking foaming at the cooch in Allure Magazine. This is what happens to every bitch who sticks the tip into Parasite Hilton's rabies-infested snatch. Ring up the free clinic and tell them we have a foamer.

All the ideas for this photo shoot were taken out of the "So Edgy & Different" files. I mean, shaving cream, a robot with shiny eyes (OMG! Kanye, is that you?) and bread ripping? Why would anyone want to kill a delicious loaf of piping hot carbs? Cindy will be hearing from the good people at PETY (People for Ethical Treatment of Yeast)! You can't just go around butchering bread! Well, unless you plan to slap some mayo and a slice of ham on it. Then it's okay.

And you know there's some sick fucker out there who is spitting on his peen over Cindy being a meanie to a bread lof. Bread fuckers: they exist!