Photoshop Awards

Something tells me Stella Doreen's umbilical chord is still attached in these pictures. Baby Stella D went from Tori the Hutt's snatch (shudder) straight to the photo studio. There was no time to deal with pesky medical shit. Tori the Hutt and her creepy husband have bills to pay!

Yes, that's little Stella Doreen with her raptor-faced mommy on the cover of OK! Magazine. Stella D looks like a precious, Photoshopped golden raisin. I mean, can she even open her eyes yet?! Somebody tell Stella that it's best she keeps her eyes closed. She's much too young and innocent to deal with Tori the Hutt's fugly ass mug.

Tori told OK! that Stella D was an accident. A happy accident. She said, "I was on one pill and wasn't feeling well, so I went off of it. Two days later, the doctor put me on another, and on that one day, we conceived. It was meant to be!" Wait, so Tori the Hutt and creepy husband do sexay times? Waitress! Another ten cups of coffee please!

Tori also talked about the first time she saw her little Stella, "My first thought was, 'My god, she's so beautiful. My second thought was, 'Oh my god, she has black hair! Where did that come from?' [laughs] Liam has blonde hair and is very fair. She was born with black hair, very tan."

Uh...oh...Tori the Hutt has been bumping genitals with the mail man. And she had a tan baby?! MiserAlba's going to be pissed!!!

Nicole Kidman totally has her own personal Photoshop wizard, CGI artist and cartoonist to make her look stunningly frozen for photo shoots. She looks like she was made from a mixture of wax and Tommy Girl's crusty sperm. Anyway, the interview is all pretty basic and boring, but Vogue did manage to ask her ass about the rumors that she's faking her pregnancy.

Nicky just laughed at the question and said, "Just look at how I'm sitting here with my legs apart. This is the way you have to sit when you're pregnant." You know the pillow fell out when she spread her legs. Please, my legs are always spread. Does that mean I'm knocked up? Shit, probably.

Visit Style.com did read the rest of the interview. And here's more of Nicky looking like a wax mannequin in an exhibit at the Natural History Museum.

TyTy isn't smiling with her eyes, but she's definitely smiling with her hips on the cover of The New York Times Magazine which comes out this Sunday. It looks like she stuck her head one of life-size wooden cutouts from the carnival.

I can guarantee you that we'll never heard the end of this cover from Tyra. During the next month, she's going to start almost every sentence with, "Well, when I was on the cover of the New York Times magazine and they compared me to Oprah and Martha...."

Source: Jezebel

And the lifetime achievement award in Photoshop skills goes to......anybody who ever airbrushed Mimi! Think of all the thousands of people that have spent thousands of hours airbrushing this woman. They deserve a purple heart or some shit.

You know she's totally having her private wedding pictures photoshopped right now. She probably has a private photoshop studio in all her homes.

What Anna Wintour needed to do was put that mask on Fishsticks. It would have saved hours in airbrushing time. They made her look like a damn alien. She looks like Jar Jar Binks' twin sister.

Whatever you do, do not show this to Tommy Cruise. He will immediately throw Katie Holmes out of his car and rush to make Fishy an offer she can't refuse. Fishy would make the perfect alien bride!

Source

They must have brought in the day and night crew to photoshop this shit. Airbrushers were working through lunch. There was so much airbrushing going on that they had to breathe from an oxygen tank.

These are the promo pictures for the Sex and the City movie due out this May. These women didn't even look like this in their baby pictures! Sarah Jessica Parker's hand doesn't look like it's reaching out from the grave the way it normally does. That is not right!

And that doesn't even look like Kim Cattrall! She looks like Arlene from Garfield. I can't even look at Kristin Davis anymore without thinking of her hairy bush from the past.

OK! Magazine claims Britney Spears lost 15 pounds in just 4 weeks. What's her diet secret? It's called copy and paste! The magazine used a picture from a Glamour Magazine shoot she did in 2003. It really is her old body! No pills, no lipo, just Photoshop.

They should have at least added a few beady-beads to her weave to make it look more current.

Source: The Huffington Post

It's a vagina flashing demon devouring the earth!! That's pretty much describes Madge. Here she is on the cover of Vanity Fair's "Green" issue. I think by "green" they mean money, because that's her first and only love. She's scaring the fuck out of me with that demon face. It's making me want to hand over my credit card and buy whatever she's selling, so she will spare my soul.

Madonna also called into Z100 this morning to discuss her album. During the interview, she was asked which songs she's sick of singing. She answered, "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again. I just can't – unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. Like if some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old, you know it."

I would rather hear "Holiday" sung out of Carlos Leon's asshole a million times over than listen to that "4 minutes" crap again. Fuck! Now I have the asshole blowing version of Holiday stuck in my head.

Madge also confessed to listening to Britney's album, "I usually work out to her record. I do a combination of pilates and dance aerobics." Madonna probably uses it as an incentive to hurry the fuck up, so she won't have to listen to that awful shit for a minute more.

Source: ONTD

The Daily Mail posted a few pictures from Worth1000 of what different celebrities would look like with Amy Wino's crackface condition. Wino's rep still claims it's "impetigo," so celebrities might look like her very soon. That shit is contagious. It would be such a beautiful world if all those skanks were walking around with ass warts on their face like this.

The pictures of Kiki Dunst and Cameron Diaz are probably original not photoshopped photos stolen from a magazine's database. Those two hags totally look like that without airbrushing, pounds of make-up and lights as bright as the sun.

I threw in a picture of Wino, so she wouldn't feel lonely.

Visit Worth1000 to see more

You cannot tell me that this is Beyonce in a new House of Derriere ad! I don't believe it. If it is her, then Solange has definitely been taking nighttime Photoshop classes down at the Learning Annex. She's been preparing for the day she can finally ruin one of Beyonce's ads. The day has come. Solange is definitely behind this fuckery.

The Fury nailed it when they said Beyonce was copying The Fight Club poster. She always has to be copying somebody. I know a few people that would love to join Beyonce's fight club. Flying wigs!