Photoshop Awards

And here's St. Angie giving us FACE! FACE! FACE! FACE! on the poster for her new movie about the dark-sided life of the Morton Salt Girl (I wish).

Instead of spending their time trying to figure out how to put the word "salt" on this shit as many times as possible, the poster makers could've just moved her face over a little to the right. It's making me twitch.

And I also just want to take a dash of salt and sprinkle it all over her slug lips.

Source: JoBlo via Best Week Ever

There's are so many things wrong with the picture above. First of all, 50 Cent is not right naming his cologne "Power" since Gay Al Reynolds has an ass spray coming out in a few weeks called "Power Bottom." Second of all, why does Half-A-Dollar even have a fragrance in the first place? Third of all, is that even Two Quarters in this ad? Without his tats or teefs, he looks more like a character you'd run into at a down low gay club on Grand Theft Auto.

And you know that Eddie Murphy is at Kinko's right now trying to get this ad printed on a pair of white cotton panties (ala Pattinson panties).

Chelsea Handler was lying face first on her bathroom shag rug in a vodka coma and missed her photo shoot for Playboy, so they had to paste her face on the half-nekkid body Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken. Yeah, you didn't know PBSDK had it like that underneath his pastel paisley blazer? PBSDK has titties of fantastical wonder.

Anyiwouldtotallydochewy, Chelsea unveiled her Playboy cover on Leno last night and even made a joke about how every single Photoshop tool was used on her, "We need the guy that airbrushed me to come back."

Unfortunately, Chelsea kept her Pikachu and her Pokemons to herself. You'll have to buy her at least half a drink (bottom shelf is okay) to see that!

VIA E! Online

Paging Nina Flowers! Paging Nina Flowers! Please report to the front to grab your look back from Glamberace. Apparently, this is really the cover for Glamberace's debut album "For Your Entertainment." I mean, we know Glamberace farts glitter and cums rainbows, but this is really on a whole new level. This looks pretty much like my cholita cousin's airbrushed t-shirt of Madonna's first album. It's like THIS PICTURE as seen through the eyes of Lisa Frank. I can't. But I will.

With all that being said, Glamberace is the prettiest tranny unicorn on Venus. Not quite "Bill Kaulitz" pretty, but almost.

VIA ONTD

Apparently, Gumby's friend Goo and Chav Gollum had a secret love child the world never knew about it. Well, now she's all grown-up and modeling for Ralph Lauren . Naturally!

Photoshop Disasters found another work of Photoshopped fuckery courtesy of the brilliant artists at Ralph Lauren. RL already brought the sowwies for that one ad starring Filippa Hamilton, but they haven't said shit about this one which is currently on display in a department store window in Australia.

Obviously, we all need to get jobs at Ralph Lauren, because everyone there is the huffing, puffing and snorting all sorts of the BAD SHIT.

Who cares if you've only got one working eye, no hands and suffer from an overactive bladder. Ralph Lauren will still hire you to Photoshop their ads!

Why does Nicole Kidman look like my ex-boyfriend dressed as Nancy Sinatra circa 1985 for Halloween? If Vogue was trying to make Nicole look like a ladydude, they could have at least added a dick bulge for the full effect. Actually, they should have used the "tidal wave" tool and Photoshopped her ass out of there along with Kate Hudson.

Even then, this cover is still all sorts of fug. Only Sophia Loren posing as a precious pearl in an oyster shell could have saved this.

With all that being said, sticking the text "It's Not Easy Being Green" near Kate Hudson's crotch area was kind of genius. Anna Wintour knows what's up with Kate's fuck life.

VIA The Fashion Spot

I have no clue what this Takers movie is about, but based on the poster I'm guessing the "something" everyone is after is NECKS! This shit should be called NECK TAKERS, because none of these motherfuckers on this poster have one! Paul Walker sort of has one, but it's hidden underneath that spandex turtleneck(?!!!?). I mean, what in the fuck?! My drunk computer-illiterate uncle, who thinks an ipod is a type of diaphragm (true story), could do a better Photoshop job than this!

I wish Paul Walker would use his GIGANTIC hands to rip that hat off of Hayden Christensen's head, because SamRo has been asking for it.

And part of me hopes the movie is just like the poster. You know, a bunch of cardboard cut-outs hanging around together, boozing, smoking and TAKING!

Source: Coming Soon VIA ONTD

Last week, Life & Style took us into the world of 3-year-old Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (smells like paninis and plane fuel). This week, they take us into the world of these two heavy flow maxi pads. Yeah, where's the Chinatown bus that goes back to Shiloh's world, because I CAN'T with these twats!

Khloe and Kim are queefing about how they lost a ton of weight by using some stupid crap called QuickTrim (PLUG! PLUG! PLUG!) and "exercising." They both blabbed about how they want to tone up more, but are happy with their bodies. BLAH! Then Khloe farted that she lost 25lbs and is a size 6 now. Kim said she weighs 114lbs. 114lbs total, not just her ass. Yeah, I know.

We would all lose 25lbs in a quick minute if we constantly ate up the diet supplement known as Vitamin COKE and spent the day sweating like a pig from chasing relevancy. And Khloe's thighs only look like that because they were slathered with Photoshop jelly.

(Image VIA Cover Awards)

The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak will not stand for Prop 8! She will duct tape her nipples in the name of free publicity equality! But seriously, Kim should've used some of that duct tape to cover up her low-budget Barbie wig, because it needs to stop. I'm joking! Kim is doing it for a good cause.

Kim brought her leased (4 more payments!) tittays out just so Mah Boo Anderson Cooper and I can get married under a silver moon one day. Thank you, Kim! At our reception, you can sing an acoustic version of "Tardy for the Party"......at the end of the night. That will be everyone's cue to get the hell out!

Click here to learn more about the NOH8 Campaign.

Photoshop Lifetime Achievement Award winner Mimi is at it again! This is the ad for her newest rainbow jizz in a bottle called Forever. It should've been called Forever Photoshopped.

The fact that she's Photoshopped to Hello Kitty heaven and back isn't the main problem here. The main issue is THAT POSE. Who told the Butterfly Priestess this looked hot? Mimi looks like she's trying so hard to push out a stubborn doody bubble that she's gone cockeyed. Bitch has got fart eyes.

I mean, who wants to smell like one of Mimi's butt queefs? Well, maybe Nick Cannon...and Eminem. Definitely Eminem.

VIA People