Photoshop Awards

Did Kate Hudson even pose for this cover of W Magazine? It's like they just took any old photo of the slut's boring ass and then Photoshopped some paint on her face. This is some ThunderCats shit, and not in a hot way. Her ThunderCats name is either Lion-HO, Cheetawhora or Puma-tang.

And the $1,000 face cream needs to jump off a bridge. Everyone knows the best face cream is free and natural: Jizz! Kate should know that!

TyTy Baby was definitely having an acid flashback when she came up with this fuckery! And TyTy must have royally pissed off the bitch who photoshopped this shit. They made her look like a slow clown who had one too many bong hits. Someone is going to lose their life over this. Believe it.

This mess is actually beyond Photoshop. It looks like it was drawn using colored pencils.

And most of these new broads look like recycled versions of Top Model skanks from seasons past.

In order for this cover to work, Elle needed to put even more text over Jessica's face and body. Actually, they should have just left Jessica out and covered the whole thing in words.

This is some major fuckery right here! Jessica's waist hasn't looked like that since birth! I know she wants to be cuntry and all, but this is overkill. They might as well have put a ten-gallon on her fugly head with the words "YEE HAW!" splattered over the cover.

In addition to giving them a truly fugly cover, Jessica talked to Elle about being a victim of abuse, "There’s nothing on my album that you’re gonna hear that I don’t relate to or that I haven’t experienced. Because the only way I know how to sing is from life experience. I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in a way that I would tell people to take their heart and run.” Cut to all eyes moving to Daddy Joe shifting in his seat, biting his fingernails, and blinking like a guilty hooker with Tourettes.

And Jessica is a major liar! She said that forgetting the words to "9 to 5" while singing for the president and Dolly Parton changed her life, "Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.’ “

But she did sing again.... Big tittied liar mouth!

Source: Sweet Kisses

Dolly Parton totally called in sick on day of this photo shoot. Her magnificent chichis didn't feel like working that day. Instead of rescheduling, they just took a cardboard cutout of Dolly and popped it in the middle. The chicks in the photo shoot had no idea it wasn't Dolly herself. I'm serious. I think that's what they really did.

Yes, these are the promo pictures for "9 to 5: The Musical" which starts performances in Los Angeles this September. It will then move on to Broadway in March. Allison Janney plays the Lily Tomlin role, Stephanie J. Block has the Jane Fonda role and Megan Hilty will play the role made famous by Dolly. Dolly wrote a bunch of songs for this shit show.

These pictures make my soul hurt. Allison totally doesn't look like Violet. She just looks like C.J. from "The West Wing" posing with a Chestica Simpson impersonator and some other bore. This is going to be hideously awful. It looks like the ABC Family version of "9 to 5." UGH. Why must stupid whores ruin everything!

It looks like somebody has been using Mimi's body double. Or maybe Mimi just let Jennifer Hudson borrow her 10-man Photoshopping team?

JHud's waist looks like it's about to put up a white flag and call "mercy." It's obviously in major trauma from the 10 pairs of Spanx, 3 girdles and 25 layers of Saran-Wrap holding it down. I'm sure a couple of gay stylists were severely injured when they removed that belt from her waist.

Source: ONTD

Thanks Edgardo

Chichi power alert!!! You might remember Toccara as the bitch who should have won America's Next Top Model 3. TyTy Baby didn't choose her, because she's jeaaaaaalous. You might also remember Toccara as the hot ass bitch who went off on the judges of Celebrity Fit Club. The bitch is back and bigger than ever. Well, her chichis are bigger than ever!

Toccara is in the new issue of Vogue Italia. You just know TyTy Baby is going to take credit for all of this. I can hear her now, "Well, I remember the time I got Toccara into Vogue...."

These pictures are hotter than a cat's pussy on an August afternoon, but where the hell are her nipples?! I assumed the bitch had huge silver dollar nippies. What the fuck happened to them? Did TyTy chew them off or something?

And is it just me or does Toccara sort of look like Alexyss K. Tylor in these pictures?

Visit Top Model Livejournal to see Toccara's full airbrushed-to-hell spread in Vogue.

We've got two Photoshop Award winners (see below) today! Although, Mimi should really be given some sort of Photoshop lifetime achievement honor. She probably doesn't even know what she really looks like. At this point, they totally Photoshop her already Photoshopped pictures.

Something in the milk ain't clean about this Elle cover. Mimi looks like she's about to push her own head off of the body that clearly doesn't belong to her. The rest of the spread is no suprise. Mimi is in a bikini! Seriously, bitch needs to join the cast of the next Surivor. That way she can frolick the beach half-nekkid without any judgement.

Visit Mariah Daily to see more pictures of a majorly Photoshopped Mimi

Normally, I think most babies look like grody gremlins who just can't wait to shit, vomit and drool on you. If I wanted that kind of mess, I'd go back to my ex-boyfriend. Anyway, Baby Usher does not look like one of those babies. He's pretty fucking adorable.

With that being said, why does it look like they copy and pasted him onto the cover. He's floating there like a little genie. I mean, what is he sitting on? That's a magic baby.

And Baby Usher is not amused with the words "Budget Tips" blocking half of his body. He should've kicked that shit off the page. The Photoshop artiste who put this shit together was definitely drinking and toking on the fucking job.

P.S. - Can someone buy this magazine and scan page 117 for me? Thank you.

Thanks Sarah

Something tells me Stella Doreen's umbilical chord is still attached in these pictures. Baby Stella D went from Tori the Hutt's snatch (shudder) straight to the photo studio. There was no time to deal with pesky medical shit. Tori the Hutt and her creepy husband have bills to pay!

Yes, that's little Stella Doreen with her raptor-faced mommy on the cover of OK! Magazine. Stella D looks like a precious, Photoshopped golden raisin. I mean, can she even open her eyes yet?! Somebody tell Stella that it's best she keeps her eyes closed. She's much too young and innocent to deal with Tori the Hutt's fugly ass mug.

Tori told OK! that Stella D was an accident. A happy accident. She said, "I was on one pill and wasn't feeling well, so I went off of it. Two days later, the doctor put me on another, and on that one day, we conceived. It was meant to be!" Wait, so Tori the Hutt and creepy husband do sexay times? Waitress! Another ten cups of coffee please!

Tori also talked about the first time she saw her little Stella, "My first thought was, 'My god, she's so beautiful. My second thought was, 'Oh my god, she has black hair! Where did that come from?' [laughs] Liam has blonde hair and is very fair. She was born with black hair, very tan."

Uh...oh...Tori the Hutt has been bumping genitals with the mail man. And she had a tan baby?! MiserAlba's going to be pissed!!!

Nicole Kidman totally has her own personal Photoshop wizard, CGI artist and cartoonist to make her look stunningly frozen for photo shoots. She looks like she was made from a mixture of wax and Tommy Girl's crusty sperm. Anyway, the interview is all pretty basic and boring, but Vogue did manage to ask her ass about the rumors that she's faking her pregnancy.

Nicky just laughed at the question and said, "Just look at how I'm sitting here with my legs apart. This is the way you have to sit when you're pregnant." You know the pillow fell out when she spread her legs. Please, my legs are always spread. Does that mean I'm knocked up? Shit, probably.

Visit Style.com did read the rest of the interview. And here's more of Nicky looking like a wax mannequin in an exhibit at the Natural History Museum.