Photoshop Awards

TyTy isn't smiling with her eyes, but she's definitely smiling with her hips on the cover of The New York Times Magazine which comes out this Sunday. It looks like she stuck her head one of life-size wooden cutouts from the carnival.

I can guarantee you that we'll never heard the end of this cover from Tyra. During the next month, she's going to start almost every sentence with, "Well, when I was on the cover of the New York Times magazine and they compared me to Oprah and Martha...."

Source: Jezebel

And the lifetime achievement award in Photoshop skills goes to......anybody who ever airbrushed Mimi! Think of all the thousands of people that have spent thousands of hours airbrushing this woman. They deserve a purple heart or some shit.

You know she's totally having her private wedding pictures photoshopped right now. She probably has a private photoshop studio in all her homes.

What Anna Wintour needed to do was put that mask on Fishsticks. It would have saved hours in airbrushing time. They made her look like a damn alien. She looks like Jar Jar Binks' twin sister.

Whatever you do, do not show this to Tommy Cruise. He will immediately throw Katie Holmes out of his car and rush to make Fishy an offer she can't refuse. Fishy would make the perfect alien bride!

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They must have brought in the day and night crew to photoshop this shit. Airbrushers were working through lunch. There was so much airbrushing going on that they had to breathe from an oxygen tank.

These are the promo pictures for the Sex and the City movie due out this May. These women didn't even look like this in their baby pictures! Sarah Jessica Parker's hand doesn't look like it's reaching out from the grave the way it normally does. That is not right!

And that doesn't even look like Kim Cattrall! She looks like Arlene from Garfield. I can't even look at Kristin Davis anymore without thinking of her hairy bush from the past.

OK! Magazine claims Britney Spears lost 15 pounds in just 4 weeks. What's her diet secret? It's called copy and paste! The magazine used a picture from a Glamour Magazine shoot she did in 2003. It really is her old body! No pills, no lipo, just Photoshop.

They should have at least added a few beady-beads to her weave to make it look more current.

Source: The Huffington Post

It's a vagina flashing demon devouring the earth!! That's pretty much describes Madge. Here she is on the cover of Vanity Fair's "Green" issue. I think by "green" they mean money, because that's her first and only love. She's scaring the fuck out of me with that demon face. It's making me want to hand over my credit card and buy whatever she's selling, so she will spare my soul.

Madonna also called into Z100 this morning to discuss her album. During the interview, she was asked which songs she's sick of singing. She answered, "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again. I just can't – unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. Like if some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old, you know it."

I would rather hear "Holiday" sung out of Carlos Leon's asshole a million times over than listen to that "4 minutes" crap again. Fuck! Now I have the asshole blowing version of Holiday stuck in my head.

Madge also confessed to listening to Britney's album, "I usually work out to her record. I do a combination of pilates and dance aerobics." Madonna probably uses it as an incentive to hurry the fuck up, so she won't have to listen to that awful shit for a minute more.

Source: ONTD

The Daily Mail posted a few pictures from Worth1000 of what different celebrities would look like with Amy Wino's crackface condition. Wino's rep still claims it's "impetigo," so celebrities might look like her very soon. That shit is contagious. It would be such a beautiful world if all those skanks were walking around with ass warts on their face like this.

The pictures of Kiki Dunst and Cameron Diaz are probably original not photoshopped photos stolen from a magazine's database. Those two hags totally look like that without airbrushing, pounds of make-up and lights as bright as the sun.

I threw in a picture of Wino, so she wouldn't feel lonely.

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You cannot tell me that this is Beyonce in a new House of Derriere ad! I don't believe it. If it is her, then Solange has definitely been taking nighttime Photoshop classes down at the Learning Annex. She's been preparing for the day she can finally ruin one of Beyonce's ads. The day has come. Solange is definitely behind this fuckery.

The Fury nailed it when they said Beyonce was copying The Fight Club poster. She always has to be copying somebody. I know a few people that would love to join Beyonce's fight club. Flying wigs!

Since when does Details put lesbians on their cover? I kid, I kid. Ryan Gaycrest has been given the Photoshop treatment for the new cover of Details. They've completely airbrushed his frog face. The mag named him one of their 2008 Mavericks for being the King of All Media. Queen of All Media is more like it.

Gaycrest also talked about being a new relationship. He's rumored to be dating one of the Olly Girls from Sunset Tan. He said, "I completely fell into a relationship, and I didn’t want to. I remember having conversations like ‘This is so weird for me, because I’m not supposed to be with anyone until I’ve achieved what I want to achieve.’” What he meant to say was, "I was forced into a relationship, because my managers thought I needed a beard." Personally I think Gaycrest had a lot to do with David Hernandez's sudden exit from American Idol! He probably got caught receiving a lap dance from David during the commercial break.

I take it back. They didn't use Photoshop on this shit, because I doubt Mimi even posed for this. It looks like they took one of those Barbie styling heads, threw some make-up on it, shot it and slapped it on the cover.

Source: MariahDaily