Gay Al

On March 25th, Gay Al Reynolds got comfortable in his favorite white rattan king chair and sipped on his sweet tea while enjoying his favorite show The Wendy Williams Show. Everything quickly went sour. Al spit out his sweet tea (and you know shit is serious when Al spits) when his ex-wife Star Jones came on the screen and threw some shade at their marriage. Al grabbed his ivory princess phone, immediately called his seamstress and let her know that she can start making the rhinestone onesie (with the cut out nipples holes and drop pocket ass) they talked about since he's about to come into some real money. And then Al put down the phone, took a dramatic queen breath, picked it up again and called his lawyers to let them know that Star broke their contact and she must pay!

When they got divorced, both Star and Al signed off on a clause stating that they can't talk shit about each other to the media. If they do, they'll have to pay the offending party a $50,000. Well, Al is now the offending party.

So what did Star say that pissed Al off? When Wendy asked Star about her marriage to Al, she responded with: "The wedding was fabulous, but the marriage was kind of a booty." The thought of "booty" did tantalize Al's nether regions for a quick second, but the tingle didn't last long.

Al's publicist tells E! News that Star ignored a letter his lawyer sent her, so they are taking the matter to the courts! Al's rep went on to say, "The unnecessary and disparaging statements made over the years regarding their marriage to mutual friends, in TV and print interviews and tweets must stop. And if Al filing paperwork utilizing the very clause that Star wanted in the divorce decree is used to stop her from the constant blasphemy of Al and their marriage vows, then so be it."

Star Jones is nothing but a swole pig with the decency of dirty trough water! How dare she make a perfectly inoffensive remark that is neither slanderous nor defamatory! HOW DARE SHE! She must pay for this in the form of one rhinestone onesie or a $50,000 check made to Al's seamstress.

And here's Antoine Dodson and his chocolate pancake nipples performing the same dance of sorrow Gay Al performed after Star betrayed him so!

via Buzzfeed

On this past episode of Celebrity Apprentice, Star Jones and NeNe Leakes' hate for each other started slow simmering at a low temperature, but apparently it's going to boil over in the next few weeks and won't ever recover. While promoting the show, NeNe said that if Star was on fire, she wouldn't even throw one spit ball her way. Ironically, NeNe is now hanging around with a flame who used to engulf Star back in the day. Popeater says that the black Tori Spelling is mad at her ex-husband for getting friendly with her arch rival NeNe Leakes. Get ready to ring the bell, because there's about to be a three bitch brawl.

A source had this to say: "Star thinks it's pathetic that these two has-beens have teamed up together. NeNe knows how much pain and hurt that man caused Star. For NeNe to suddenly befriend him tells you exactly what sort of woman she really is. Al will do anything to get back into the press, including hanging out with reality stars. But to be getting close and personal with a woman who has publicly stated she wouldn't spit on your ex-wife if she was on fire is just desperate."

Star needs to beam up to her home planet and search the craters for a giant ball of GET THE FUCK OVER IT. Who cares if Gay Al and NeNe are twirling around the town together. Maybe Al will seat NeNe down in front of a MAC counter and teach her how to blend so she won't have the face of a rabid raccoon anymore. Only good can come of this.

If Star still can't get over it, Grandma Dionne will set that hussy straight with some real talk and a switch to the ass. "Can I come too?!!!" - Gay Al

Gay Al is in Miami doing the whole "fashion week" thing and he was spotted hanging out with another Star Jones look-alike. A source told Page Six, "He came to the Tommy Bahama show at the Raleigh with a look-alike. But this one was in what looked like a fake Herve Leger and 4-inch stillettos." Fake Herve Leger and 4-inch stilletos? Aww! That was so sweet of Gay Al to let his new fruit fly borrow his clothes.

The source said that Gay Al stood by the bar with his date with a towel around his neck, drinking Peroni beer. He was just taking a little break in between butt-fuck appointments. He really should have left his cum rag back in the room. Most people don't enjoy the fresh smell of crusty man chowder with their cocktails. Yeah, most people are crazy. Crusty man chowder happens to be my signature scent.

Speaking of Gay Al, I spent a lot of my weekend watching his "I am not a homosexual" YouTubes and I finally realized what that shit reminds me of. It reminds me of "Men In Film." I mean, can't you just picture him screaming, "Touch me in the morning and then just walk away"? I think I've found Gay Al's new career. Clip below:

Gay Al gave several interviews and uploaded them to his YouTube channel, SexyWetAzz4U. No, his YouTube channel is called AlReynoldsChannel. BORING.

This shit is almost as gay as Tommy Girl's Scientology butt-fuck video. Almost.

Gay Al said he did his own interviews, because he wanted to set the record STRAIGHT (laugh 1) and didn't want to trash Star (laugh 2).

In one video, homegirl proclaims, "I am not a homosexual." (laugh 3) No, he's not a homosexual. He's a dick riding, man chowder eating, salad tossing, butt plug wearing, nipple pinchin' homegirl with two-snaps thrown in for good measure.

I mean, this bitch has busted gay face and busted gay voice! He's looking at the interviewer like she's a 10-inch cock. That's probably the only way he could get through this shit. And you know when he said, "I am not a homosexual," his butt clit started tingling.

He used the Clay Gayken excuse as to why people might think he loves it in the ass. He said people think this shit because he's well-dressed, takes care of himself and is from the South. We get it. Gay Al is not gay (laugh 4).

Gay Al is also not "dating any WOMEN." I'm leaving that one alone. But he still loves Star Jones, "I still very much love her. I do. I can't lie to you." No, he still loves her shoe collection. Girlfriend, go down to Baker's and have yourself a shopping spree. You deserve it.

He went on to say that he needs to work on himself before he starts dating, "I feel like I've still got a little bit of healing to do." Gay Al just needs to pack his yes-yes-hole with a little ice and add a dab of Prep H. That shit will heal in no time.

Click here to watch all of Gay Al's videos. There's a lot of shit there that I haven't covered. Just bring a tube of lube with you.

I haven't laughed like this in minutes! I kept waiting for Adina Howard's "Freak Like Me" to start playing and for Gay Al to start booty dancing in some gold lame coochie cutters.

P.S. - I think the interviewer was made in a factory.

Crunk + Disorderly posted a couple of pictures what looks like Gay Al. Who knows when these pictures were taken or for what purpose, but he's sort of looking sexay? Ack. No, I can't go there.

Most queens use a busted webcam for their ManHunt profile pictures, but it looks like Gay Al went to great lengths to look extra hot in his.

All those years with Gay Al should have taught Star Jones how to deep throat properly. Come on, Star! Swallow that shit in one shot. Gay Al would've had that thing halfway down his throat before the photographer could even think about taking his picture.

Star Jones is single, sexy and living it up in Cannes. The middle thumbnail looks like Gay Al's face after a night out with his "boys."

Star also kissed up to a friend's dog. That dog is gay! Star can't help it. Like a fly to fruit.....

I've decided to use a picture of Gay Al with fat Star, because fat Star is soooo much better than today's Star. I miss fat Star. Not really. So....Gay Al is ready to talk about his split from Star! He's looking to talk, but he wants to get paid. Full Disclosure is reporting that he's shopping around his first TV interview to the highest bidder.

A source said, "He has got to make a buck somehow. He's been looking for a six-figure deal for an interview where he dishes about being married to Star." Six-figures?! Are we talking money or dick size? And to think that I was going to offer him a Bel Ami video, a Barbie manicure set and some used anal beads.

Six-figures? He must have jizz in the brains. Besides, what else is there to tell? He likes juicy salchicha and Star is a lie-teller. We basically know everything.