Aubrey O'Day

You see that chick all the way to the left, the blondie? Well, I guess she used to be a member of that group of raggedy tramps who call themselves Danity Kane, but she's not anymore. According to Elvis Duran, Shannon has quit the group after Aubrey O'Day and D. Woods were sent back to the skank factory. Shannon bounced out of that ho party because she was sick of Diddy and all the drama. She was also sick of the other members asking her, "What's your name again?" over and over again. They probably haven't even realized she's gone yet. Oh well, I'm sure you can catch Shannon in a couple of months serving pancakes at some diner in Oregon. Hmmm...pancakes.....

This leaves the group with only two members. Basically, this shit is done here. It's not going to work with only two chicks. Wendy & Lisa they ain't!!!

Now that Diddy has a little more free time, he can work on bringing back together Mickey Mouse Club's "The Party." I listened to their tape (yes, tape) like 5 times this fucking weekend. They are some truly talented individuals. I mean, they can sing, rap and they have hot moves. They need a major comeback. View their hotness below:

Finally a new fucking couple that I can get behind.....and push into traffic. Seriously now! This is the greatest pairing since Brit Brit & Cheetos!

Some bitch told Page Six that the head member of The Mega Slut Club, Aubrey O'Day, and squid brains master Kanye West were touching tongues at 10ak in NYC recently. This makes Kanye the newest member of The Mega Slut Club, because if you make out with Aubrey, you're also making out with like ten million other living things....at least. And that includes Ginger O'Day! It's also a little known fact that after your tongue has touched Aubrey's tongue, a "front of the line" voucher for the Free Clinic magically appears in your hands.

This makes me so excited THAT I COULD WRITE THE REST OF THIS POST IN CAPS. I won't do that, because I respect your hangover. BUT I REALLY WANT TO! But I won't.

The nosy bitch who spilled the jizz to Page Six said, "Either they actually kissed, or Aubrey was just telling people they kissed."

It's probably the latter, but allow me to believe this shit just for a quick minute. KanDay is just the couple to knock down Brangelina off of their golden pedestal!

As expected, Aubrey O'Day was booted out of Danity Kane on last night's episode of "Making the Sluts." Aubrey's closest friend in the group, D.Woods, was also given the pink slip, because Diddy probably realized she's infected beyond repair with Aubrey's skank. That leaves DK with just three members. Three members whose names I don't know. Nor do I care to know.

During the finale, Aubrey showed up to speak her vagina...I mean...her mind. D. Woods didn't even bother rolling out of bed for this shit.

Aubrey's speech was truly touching. It's the same speech I give my mother every time she calls me a dumbstupidwhoreskank.

Aubrey came out like a slut warrior and spoke out for shameless whores everywhere!

You know what, Aubrey? You don't represent women, but you do represent SLUTS and that's better! Don't be ashamed, Aubrey! Suck those cocks and spit jizz into the faces of the ugly bitches who are hating on you.

At the end of her speech, Aubrey gets up like she's on Girls Gone Wild. If there was a bar behind her, she would have gotten on top of it and flashed her fake titty sacks. I love her.

Below is the clip, but grab a box of Kleenex before you watch it. Your genitals will probably start crying after listening to Aubrey's moving words of slut wisdom.

Last night on "Making the Band," Diddy sort of, kind of kicked my favorite tramp Aubrey O'Day back to the gutter and out of Danity Kane. Basically, everyone in the group hates Aubrey and there can only be one mega bitch and that's Diddy! So... Aubrey might be out.

Fuck DK! They are NOTHING without Aubrey. Yes, those mysterious skin fleas that have been living on their bodies might go away without Aubrey around, but she's the star! They will sink without her! Mark my fucking words with a juicy cum shot.

Aubrey doesn't need those whiny bitches anyway! She'll become a bigger star without them holding her back. She has talents they can't even pronounce. Aubrey will go to Thailand and become world famous for shooting bowling balls out of her cooze. I bet you those jealous skeezers in DK didn't know she could do that! Aubrey will also break the world's biggest gang bang record. Take that, DK! And she won't stop there. She'll also enter the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most different kinds of STDs at one time. Aubrey is better off without them. She's going to do big dicks things!

Here's Aubrey wearing a homemade shirt at a Bowlmor Lane event in NYC last night. Does she realize that by wearing that shirt she's inadvertently telling people to vote for McCain?

P.S. - I think Ginger is so hopped up on Vicodin and NyQuil that she doesn't even know what's going on anymore. It's for the best.

The raggedy puff ball known as Aubrey O'Day loves to go out every night to do "slut bag stuff," but must she drag poor Ginger with her every time? I'm sure Ginger really wants to be around a bunch of drunk whores who spill their Mojitos on her. Actually, she probably puts her little paws together and prays at night that someone will drop a cocktail on her, so that it can wash away that dye.

How long has Ginger been wearing that hideous hair color for? Like a month? If that shit is temporary, shouldn't it wash out rather quickly? That means the pooch hasn't had a bath for at least a few weeks. Vom.

My dog gets a bath once a week like clockwork. I'm obsessive about it. I brush him once a day and wash him once a week or else he'll smell like rotten ass jelly. His ass jelly smell mixed with my butt grease stench could kill baby birds.

Little Ginger not getting her ass washed regularly makes sense, because Aubrey looks like soap hasn't touched her skin in a while. That being said, I still adore her like a pair of low hangers. Don't ask me why.

Here's Aubrey and her suicide watch dog at a Paper Magazine party last night. I also threw in some pictures of Amanda Lepore, because this post called for a little tranny hotness.

Aubrey O'Day's dog Ginger must have been one evil bitch in a past life to get stuck with this raggedy tramp. Animal cruelty never looked so skanky. Poor Ginger. I can see the diseases gleefully jumping from Aubrey's ass thermometer to Ginger's little tongue. If Aubrey wanted to make out with Ginger, she could have at least put a dental dam over her mouth and spared the animal from her germs.

Here's more of Aubrey in a towel doing illegal and intimate things with her dog at a Sheiki Jeans in San Diego, CA. In the last thumbnail, it looks like Ginger is trying to hide the tears.

The only bitch smiling in these pictures is the tranny sewer rat known as Aubrey O'Day. Her pooch Ginger looks like she needs to be put on suicide watch along with Aubrey's sad Tupperware titties. Seriously, those things look like they just had a fight, because they are trying to get as far away from each other as possible.

I love Aubrey because she's a shameless skeezer with no morals, but she really needs to treat her chichi sacks and pooch better. Ginger does not want to be dragged around against her will. I know my dog isn't into that shit. He would rather be at home, in his bed, licking his no-nuts area. Besides, whenever I take my dog out, crackhead whores always want to touch him and shit. And after they finish petting him with their crusty paws, they always ask me for 25 cents or a quarter. That's why he's better off at home.

Here's more of the slut whose taint probably smells like aged Brie at a Declare Yourself event last night.

No, that's not Jenna Jameson. It took me a few eye blinks and head shakes to realize it was my favorite dirty puff ball Aubrey O'Day of Danity Kane licking who knows what off of that stripper pole. Although, I'm sure she's licked off worse.

These truly elegant photos of the always classy Aubrey are from Complex Magazine. They look like stills from an amateur tranny porn. Aubrey also had a very insightful interview with the magazine. They talked about everything from her best friend Jenna Jameson to doing sex while on the rag. Hot. Here's some quotes:

On being called a slut on blogs and in magazines:

If I have to be ridiculed and called a whore and the party animal and the dumb girl for the rest of my career, I’m OK with that. Because I love who I am. You’re going to have to interpret me however you’re going to interpret me.

On jacking off to one of Jenna Jameson's porn movies:

I watched her before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, “Oh no!” I had to turn it off. It was horrible.

On her love of porn:

I usually watch black guys doing white girls, that’s my little fetish, even though in real life race isn’t a factor for me. Really, I’m more turned on by watching the girls than the guys. I love someone who looks like they’re really into sex.

On ever starring in her own porn movie:

I wouldn’t. I’d like to keep my sex life personal. I’ve had sex on camera with my boyfriend for fun, though.

On sex while on your period:

Yeah. There was some new guy I was dating, and it was the first time we were going to go there, and he was weird about it. So I ask Jenna for advice and she’s like, “Honey, it’s just a little war paint, who cares?”

Aubrey would totally suck a dick in a truck stop bathroom for a half bag of M&Ms, but that's why I adore her. She's a dirty skank who doesn't apologize.

It feels like it's the year of the slut. Sienna Miller is out there shamelessly flaunting her slutness and Megan Fox brushed off the fact that she grabbed her man's dick in public. It's an exciting year to be a dirty whore! We should all be proud of ourselves. The slut revolution is taking over. Hopefully, 2009 will be even sluttier.

Visit Complex to read more from Aubrey's interview and to see even more artstic photos of her. I'd wear a condom just in case.

Before we get into this non-story about Aubrey O'Day, I must comment on that poor poochie. This picture is fucking with the fragile parts of my very soul. Someone get Peta on the clam! That dog looks like a melting Firecracker Popsicle. It's holding on to her skank stick for dear life while trying to covers its private areas from the paps. I'll have my dog send Aubrey's pooch a care package of OxiClean, nail polish remover and puppy panties.

Now on to the non-story! Aubrey recently told OK! that she turned down a role in the new "90210" show in order to do "Hairspray" on Broadway. No, the role she turned down was not the female lead. It wasn't even the Jessica Walter part. Although, Aubrey can easily pull off playing a drunk senior citizen.

The important role was the girl who gets caught sucking Ethan's dick in the pilot episode! I'm sorry, but there's no way I would miss out from having "girl sucking dick in car" on my resume.

Aubrey probably turned down the role when she was told that she couldn't actually suck his dick.

UsWeekly has come out with their second annual list of the 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers. You know, because next to Vogue, UsWeekly is the go-to fashion bible. The list included Aubrey O'Day, Ty Ty Banks and that one frigid bitch from that one morning talk show.

Aubrey definitely belongs on that list. Nobody expertly mixes the styles of "cracked out disco dancer," "hooker with a penis" and "burnt up Palm Beach socialite" quite like Aubrey. She is a true fashion artiste.

I also agree with their choice of Ty Ty, because if I don't, she'll sic her tenhead on me. Hasselcrack shouldn't be on a "best" anything list.

The list also includes John Legend, Christian Siriano, Kelly Ripa, Gayle King, Sean Avery and Nina Garcia. Click here to see all the hos on the list.

Us completely fucked up by not mentioning one of the most stylish New Yorkers of all-time: ROJO CALIENTE!!!! This hot bitch makes an outfit from the clearance bin at Men's Warehouse look like a million dollars! She is a style icon. Just the other day I wore a pair of old pleated khaki shorts in her honor. And I can't believe I just admitted that I own a pair of pleated khaki shorts.