Gayelles

Lesbian activist, Del Martin (right), passed on to the big Home Depot in the sky this morning in San Francisco. She was 87.

Del captured a little piece of my coal heart when she married her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, on June 17th. They were the first gay couple married in San Francisco.

Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, told SFGate that Del checked into a San Francisco hospital two weeks after a broken arm messed with her existing health problems. Kate also said that Phyllis was by her side during her last moments.

Del and Phyllis were a major part of the early movement for gay and lesbian rights. They founded the first lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis, in 1955. Del was also the founded member of several other organizations.

Rest in peace, Del Martin. Thank you for your courage and all the work you've done. Sorry. I hate getting sappy. I'll go eat a Twinkie now.

Thanks Momus

Why are they walking away from Jack in the Box? Isn't the luscious aroma of a Sourdough Jack beckoning them? Oh wait. A Sourdough Jack is made with beef. I forgot who I was talking about.

Somebody got their hair poo-pooed on! SamRo finally poured some Henna over that toilet water blonde mop she's been working for sooooo long. I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand, she no longer looks like she has Billy Idol's pubic bush on her head. However, her new hair paired with that outfit makes her look like a dykey nurse from the midwest who wears a pager on her waist band and drives a beat down Datsun pick-up truck.

And what is up with those outfits? Did they join some underground gayelle cult? Do they hold super secret meetings in Home Depot's storage room?

Here's more of SamRo and her lezzzzzzzzzzzzzbian lover going to lunch (not at Jack in the Crack) and buying dumb shit in Los Angeles yesterday.

I'm seriously considering a permanent move to Mars. You all can stay and drown in dirty diapers, mashed carrot slobber and green wet caca. Eff global warming! Babies are the real threat!

Sporty Spice aka Melanie C has announced she's knocked up with her first child. The 34-year-old is expecting a new member of the baby army with her boyfriend of six years Thomas Starr. Uh..huh...The second I read Sporty was with child, I thought "TURKEY BASTER BABY!" The word "lesbionic" was invented for her.

Sporty announced on her website, "Some happy news. Well, I can now announce that Tom and I are expecting a baby and we are very happy. As I'm sure you'll understand we needed time to wait for results and tell our families. I will be taking it easy but am also excited to start writing for the fifth album. I will need to take some time off to be a mum but, before you know it, we'll be back."

Sporty is the last of the Spice Girls to have a baby. They all have them. Color me fucking old. The other Spice Babies are:

Posh - Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz
Scary: Phoenix Chi and Angel Iris
Ginger: Bluebell Madonna
Baby: Beau Lee

Hopefully Sporty keeps the Spice tradition of giving her baby a messed up name. I'm thinking Footballer Latte Queens. That has a nice ring to it.

Source

Tila Tequila's current partner in pussy, Courtenay "Nay Nay" Semel, was arrested in Las Vegas on Tuesday night for slapping some dude outside of Pure nightclub at Caesars Palace. TMZ reports that Nay Nay slapped a security guard in the back of the head while making her way out of the club.

Caesars Palace's security detained her ass and called the police. When the fuzz arrived they cited Nay Nay for being a fugly ass attention whore who needs to go back into the forest to collect more nuts for winter. Seriously, for being a gayelle, the ho looks like her face is filled with juicy nuts. Anylezzie, they cited her for battery and released her back into the wild.

I seriously deserve a pussy pie to the face for posting about this hag! She obviously hit that dude just so she can get a little attention and I'm falling right into her lezzie trap! Smells like boiled oysters and burnt chestnuts .

So this is what gayelles do when they get tanked! They bite on each other's crazy hard abs. Although, Jackie Warner from "Work Out" ain't got shit on Vadge! Vadge has an 8-pack on her ass! Jackie can't beat that.

Jackie celebrated her the big 4-0 with her girlfriend (the chick nibbling on her lezzie meat) and a bunch of other raging homos in Los Angeles the other night. After looking at some of these pictures, I realize that gayelles are just like the gays! We both love kissing and licking on bitches while getting our picture taken. I have at least 50,000 pictures of myself licking on everything from humans to animals to inanimate objects. The places my tongue has been. When I see a camera, my mouth suddenly opens and my tongue comes out. Actually, I think the straights do that too. See! We're all the same!

Here's a few more pics from Jackie's party. Lance Bass showed up! I thought I'd just point that out.

Before rubbing snatch lips with SamRo, HoHan shacked up with Courtenay Semel, the daughter of former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel. Wait, I have a question before we get into this lezzie drama. Does she pronounce her name Courtney or Court-E-Nay? I don't think I could handle calling that bitch Court-E-Nay. I couldn't say her name without laughing. I'd have to call her Nay Nay or Courtie. Let's call her Nay Nay. So... One of Nay Nay's friends has talked to The News of the World about her love triangle with HoHan and SamRo.

Nay Nay and HoHan first met in 2006. HoHan didn't know how to deal with her gayelle feelings for Nay Nay, so she started doing a bunch of drugs. In HoHan's defense, I'd have to do a lot of drugs to make out with Nay Nay. She's not the prettiest vibrator in the sex store. Yes, there's such thing as a pretty vibrator. Here's one!

Things between Nay Nay and HoHan continued throughout 2006, but it all changed when SamRo came into the picture in 2007. HoHan and SamRo's relationship was strictly platonic at first. HoHan apparently said SamRo was "the father she never had." But does SamRo wear her cell phone on her waist band?

When HoHan checked into Promises, both Nay Nay and SamRo visited her. Nay Nay's friend said, “By now Lindsay was sending ‘I love you’ notes to Samantha and signing them ‘Lindsay Ronson’ but telling Courtenay she loved her too."

When HoHan got out of rehab, she rented a house with Nay Nay. That didn't last too long. HoHan kept bringing home dude after dude. Finally, Nay Nay had enough dick in her house and moved out. A week later, SamRo and HoHan were joined at the labia.

Nay Nay's friend said, “Courtenay still can’t understand how Lindsay is now so open with Samantha. Every time she sees a picture of them together it kills her.”

Yeah, she looks really fucking distraught. Nay Nay is now "dating" bi-sexual ladyboy Tila Tequila. Typical!

Ugh! I thought the gays were dramatic. SamRo is a definite upgrade from Nay Nay. First of all, her name is Nay Nay. Second of all, she looks like she has a lazy tongue. I mean, SamRo looks like she could get a gold medal in muff diving. Nay Nay doesn't even look like she'd qualify for the finals!

Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi became wifey and wifey on Saturday at their home in Los Angeles, and here's a few stalker-like pictures from the blessed event. I can see you two little 'gina bumpers, but you can't see me. Ehehehe!

Okay, what in lezzie flannel hell is Ellen wearing? I swear she stole my first communion outfit out of my mother's guest room closet. That's practically the same shit I wore except I had fancy silver shoes with bells on them. No joke. What's gayer than gay? Fancy silver shoes with bell on them.

Portia looks loverly as usual. And so happy! I would be fucking happy too if I just married a dykey pot o' gold! Portia better not have signed a prenup! Prenups are my worst nightmare. They ruin everything!

Below are a few more pictures including one of Ellen holding a dog who isn't Iggy. It's like that, Ellen? I see how it is. Poor Iggy. And for a gayelle wedding, they sure had a lot of floating balls around the joint.

Portia de Rossi, 35, and Ellen Degeneres, 50, completely ruined their relationship by getting married in California yesterday. It's a known fact that marriage ruins people's lives!!! Although, Portia and Ellen will beat the odds. Gayelles do it better.

Ellen's spokesbitch confirmed to People that they made it legal at their home in Los Angeles. They both wore Zac Posen, because details like that are very important. When you lay awake tonight, thinking about what in muffin hell Ellen and Portia wore to their wedding, you'll have the answer. Oh! And the flowers were by Mark's Garden. Another very fucking important fact.

Only 19 people were invited to the ceremony. Iggy the Dog better have been their ring bearer or I will slap Ellen with a veiny dick and she won't like that very much. In fact, it might make her vomit uncontrollably.

Congratulations to these two lezzies in love. Do you think whoever officiated the ceremony said, "You may now scissor the bride"?

I know HoHan and SamRo are supposed to be hipster lezzies or something, but damn! Can't they wear something else besides Ray-Bans? Now, I've been known to put on a pair of Wayfarers now and then, but now it's hard for me to do so without thinking about these coochie lickers. Damn then! Ray-Ban better be paying them the big bucks.

Here's these two buying a bunch of dumb shit they don't need in Los Angeles yesterday. All they do is fucking shop. They need to turn up the action. I'm waiting for the sex tape to hit the internets. I wanna see these two bump cokey ginas, smash pies, mack on a ham wallet, grill up a furburger.....something. Actually, I take that back. That would not be the gayelle sex tape of my dreams. Now a Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon sex tape is a different story.

Is SamRo making a "queef face" because she thinks HoHan's new hair stinks? I sort of agree. It's like a lovely shade of peach barf. However, maybe she's slowing embracing her inner ginge and her weave will soon make it to her natural color. But who knows what her natural color is anymore.

Even my mommy cares about the lesbionic adventures of SamRo and HoHan. Although, she doesn't really know their names. She calls them "the butchie" and "that girl from Angry Girls." Of course, she means the bull dyke and the ho from "Mean Girls." You know how moms are.

Here's "the butchie" and the chick from "Angry Girls" at the opening of Apple (no relation to the iPod hos) last night.