Gayelles

This is what happens when you bump fuglies with the same bitch for a long time. You start dressing like them! HoHan and her labia lickin' lady friend went to the unhappiest place on earth yesterday wearing pretty much the same shit. Ray-Bans? CHECK! Lezzie Club shirts? CHECK! Skinny jeans? CHECK!

And yes, I said the "unhappiest" place on earth. Whenever I go to Disneyland, I always think that rainbows are going to fly out of my ass because of how happy being there will make me. The opposite usually happens. I get all angry after paying $6 for a sodie pop and I usually always get into a fight with some stupid bitch who is talking way too loud in line. I'm sorry, but while I'm waiting ten hours for a 10-second ride, I don't want to hear about some whore's life. That's why whispering was invented. Yes, I have major issues. We already know this. Just file this shit in the "MK IS A BITCHY BITTER HOMO" folder and then go make me a hot chocolate.

Here's more of the hipster scissor sisters acting all gayelley at Disneyland. It's funny that SamRo is wearing a Jack Skeletor hat, because they have the same body.

Portia de Rossi came into this world as Amanda Lee Rogers. Then for some reason, she decided to change her name to Portia de Rossi. I think she totally used the Soap Opera Name Generator to come up with Portia de Rossi. Although, according to this version of the S.O. Name Generator, her soap opera name is Viv Forrester. My soap opera name is Sebastian Forrester. Wait. Portia and I are both Forresters. Does that mean we're related? Does this also mean I can claim a piece of the DeGeneres fortune?! "Pack up tha Chevy, Pa! We is movin' ta Bevahly Hills!!"

Anyway, the point is Portia is changing her name again! Star Magazine reports that she is legally changing her name to Porta DeGeneres. At least she kept the "De." That's important. If she drops the "De" in her last name, she's nothing!

A source told Star that Portia and Ellen ordered stationary with "Mrs. and Mrs. DeGeneres" printed on it. The source went on to say: "Ellen and Portia used it to write thank-you notes to the 19 friends and family who attended."

Why wouldn't Ellen take Portia's name? It's much more glamarous sounding. It sounds like the bottle name of a delicious sparking wine. Ellen de Rossi. Yeah, I like that much better. But Ellen is obviously buying the milk in that house, so Portia DeGeneres it is!

Maddox's daddy has donated 1 Brangelina dollar to fight the gay marriage ban in California. Oh, 1 Brangelina dollar is 100,000 American dollars. The LA Times reports, that Brad announced he is giving up $100,000 from his own checking account to fight California's Proposition 8, a November ballot measure that would eliminate same-sex couples' right to get married.

Brad said: "Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8."

So far, Brad's $100,000 donation is the largest to the NO ON PROP 8 campaign by an A-list celebrity. Come on, Tommy Girl! Step it up! And by "step it up" I don't mean get higher lifts.

If Prop 8 passes, that means Ellen and Portia's beautiful gayelle married bliss would be null and void. Don't make the gayelles sad. The world stops turning when lesbians cry.

Ellen Degeneres is the newest face of CoverGirl. And yes, I said Ellen Degeneres and not Zac Efron. Ellen announced on her show today that she will star in commercials for CoverGirl that will begin airing next year.

Ellen, who probably doesn't wear make-up when not on camera, said, "I am very, very excited about it. It's a very cool thing, I'm honored and the photo shoot was 'easy, breezy, beautiful ... CoverGirl.'"

More like "easy, breezy, lezziful...."

I like Ellen. If she made me cookies, I would eat them, but she is not the right gayelle for the job! I just have two words: ROJO CALIENTE! The world needs to pull the dildo out of their asses and recognize this woman! She should be on billboards, in movies and in the oval office. She should be everywhere! The whores at CoverGirl made a mistake!

Unless, they did consider her, but realized that there is no way they can improve upon her natural beauty. Yeah, that must be it.

Source

Ray-Ban's favorite gayelles hiked up their ham wallets to sit front row at SamRo's sister's fashion show at Bryant Park yesterday. I'm kind of into SamRo's baby biker butchie look. I don't think I've ever seen a skinny ass biker dyke before. This is some "Skeletor does 'Easy Rider'" shit.

And it's nice to see that HoHan's magnificent chichis have come out to play. They look jollier now that she's lickin' the labia. SamRo must be an expert motoboater.

Here's more of these two vagitarians at the Samantha Ronson show yesterday. In the pictures below, the woman sitting in back of them nearly made my morning. I seriously thought for a second she was the cook from "Clue the Movie."

Lesbian activist, Del Martin (right), passed on to the big Home Depot in the sky this morning in San Francisco. She was 87.

Del captured a little piece of my coal heart when she married her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, on June 17th. They were the first gay couple married in San Francisco.

Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, told SFGate that Del checked into a San Francisco hospital two weeks after a broken arm messed with her existing health problems. Kate also said that Phyllis was by her side during her last moments.

Del and Phyllis were a major part of the early movement for gay and lesbian rights. They founded the first lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis, in 1955. Del was also the founded member of several other organizations.

Rest in peace, Del Martin. Thank you for your courage and all the work you've done. Sorry. I hate getting sappy. I'll go eat a Twinkie now.

Thanks Momus

Why are they walking away from Jack in the Box? Isn't the luscious aroma of a Sourdough Jack beckoning them? Oh wait. A Sourdough Jack is made with beef. I forgot who I was talking about.

Somebody got their hair poo-pooed on! SamRo finally poured some Henna over that toilet water blonde mop she's been working for sooooo long. I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand, she no longer looks like she has Billy Idol's pubic bush on her head. However, her new hair paired with that outfit makes her look like a dykey nurse from the midwest who wears a pager on her waist band and drives a beat down Datsun pick-up truck.

And what is up with those outfits? Did they join some underground gayelle cult? Do they hold super secret meetings in Home Depot's storage room?

Here's more of SamRo and her lezzzzzzzzzzzzzbian lover going to lunch (not at Jack in the Crack) and buying dumb shit in Los Angeles yesterday.

I'm seriously considering a permanent move to Mars. You all can stay and drown in dirty diapers, mashed carrot slobber and green wet caca. Eff global warming! Babies are the real threat!

Sporty Spice aka Melanie C has announced she's knocked up with her first child. The 34-year-old is expecting a new member of the baby army with her boyfriend of six years Thomas Starr. Uh..huh...The second I read Sporty was with child, I thought "TURKEY BASTER BABY!" The word "lesbionic" was invented for her.

Sporty announced on her website, "Some happy news. Well, I can now announce that Tom and I are expecting a baby and we are very happy. As I'm sure you'll understand we needed time to wait for results and tell our families. I will be taking it easy but am also excited to start writing for the fifth album. I will need to take some time off to be a mum but, before you know it, we'll be back."

Sporty is the last of the Spice Girls to have a baby. They all have them. Color me fucking old. The other Spice Babies are:

Posh - Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz
Scary: Phoenix Chi and Angel Iris
Ginger: Bluebell Madonna
Baby: Beau Lee

Hopefully Sporty keeps the Spice tradition of giving her baby a messed up name. I'm thinking Footballer Latte Queens. That has a nice ring to it.

Source

Tila Tequila's current partner in pussy, Courtenay "Nay Nay" Semel, was arrested in Las Vegas on Tuesday night for slapping some dude outside of Pure nightclub at Caesars Palace. TMZ reports that Nay Nay slapped a security guard in the back of the head while making her way out of the club.

Caesars Palace's security detained her ass and called the police. When the fuzz arrived they cited Nay Nay for being a fugly ass attention whore who needs to go back into the forest to collect more nuts for winter. Seriously, for being a gayelle, the ho looks like her face is filled with juicy nuts. Anylezzie, they cited her for battery and released her back into the wild.

I seriously deserve a pussy pie to the face for posting about this hag! She obviously hit that dude just so she can get a little attention and I'm falling right into her lezzie trap! Smells like boiled oysters and burnt chestnuts .

So this is what gayelles do when they get tanked! They bite on each other's crazy hard abs. Although, Jackie Warner from "Work Out" ain't got shit on Vadge! Vadge has an 8-pack on her ass! Jackie can't beat that.

Jackie celebrated her the big 4-0 with her girlfriend (the chick nibbling on her lezzie meat) and a bunch of other raging homos in Los Angeles the other night. After looking at some of these pictures, I realize that gayelles are just like the gays! We both love kissing and licking on bitches while getting our picture taken. I have at least 50,000 pictures of myself licking on everything from humans to animals to inanimate objects. The places my tongue has been. When I see a camera, my mouth suddenly opens and my tongue comes out. Actually, I think the straights do that too. See! We're all the same!

Here's a few more pics from Jackie's party. Lance Bass showed up! I thought I'd just point that out.