The city of DC was the luckiest city in the world today for many reasons, and one of them is because Rojo Caliente and Mrs. Rojo (government name: Cynthia Nixon) were there for the National Equality March. If you are in the DC and wondering why your skin has the tingles, that is why!
At the march today, Mrs. Rojo spoke and I listened up until my ears went raw. Anyone who wakes up next to Rojo Caliente every morning, must speak the truth of truths! I co-sign every last statement twice.
And I think Mrs. Rojo said something about how she can't wait for the day she throws crumbled-up Mother's Circus Animal Cookies at the wedding of Anderson "Mah Boo" Cooper and yours truly. If you didn't hear that, it's probably because you don't have wads of delusion stuck in your ear holes like I do.
Lady GaGa (I'm being nice today) also spoke. You know how I feel about her ass, but I like this....even the Judy Garland joke. I give credit where credit is due (doo)! Yesh, I'm sippin' that shit today.
However, I will say her wig is very Kim Zolciak-ish. That wig should be ABSENT from the party.
Dame Elizabeth Taylor has a serious memawboner for her longtime friend/business partner Kathy Ireland. Ever since the new season of Dancing with the Stars started, Liz has been singing Kathy's praises on her Twitter account. You'd think she was talking about Shauna Sand.
It's just Kathy Ireland! I know she changed the face of TV with her thrilling portrayal of Brittany Maddocks on four episodes of Melrose Place, but DAMN! Here's what Dame Liz had to say about the glowingly beautiful Kathy:
I'm so excited to see Kathy Ireland on Dancing With The Stars! She is so beautiful.
1:52 PM Aug 17th from web
To watch her in movement will be a golden chance to see beauty in action and grace which is what that lady is all about.
1:54 PM Aug 17th from web
She is beauty personified because it glows from within and takes her on wing.
1:54 PM Aug 17th from web
All of you who are watching Kathy Ireland on DWTS tonight...please vote for her. The # is on the screen. She's so gorgeous, isn't she!
5:13 PM Sep 22nd from web
Saw Dancing With The Stars tonight. Didn't think the judges were fair to Kathy Ireland.
about 15 hours ago from web
Kathy was delightful, gorgeous and fit the music they chose perfectly. If they ever do a remake of The King and I she should star in it.
about 15 hours ago from web
You know Dame Elizabeth set up a calling room in her mansion and makes her main gays dial for Kathy all night. They only take breaks to rub one of Kathy Ireland's lamps from Lamps Plus for luck.
If Kathy ever gets voted out, the judges better sleep with a taser between their crotch, because Dame Elizabeth will be coming for them!
On Monday morning, the sidewalk outside of SamRo's house was covered with tan grease-stained leggings, because those two had another fight which ended in HoHan's shit getting chucked out of a window. The sidewalk was also covered with alley cats carrying forks, because when SamRo threw HoHan's panties out, they thought the buffet was open for business.
The fight all started after SamRo came home from a night out with Drea De Matteo (who kind of looks like something that came out of White Oprah's snatch). The Daily Mail says that HoHan showed up at SamRo's front door, demanded to be let in and the two had another lezzie brawl of words. HoHan called her partner in pussy a "liar," which was SamRo's cue to throw all her crap out the window. HoHan had to run out and collect all her clothes before taking off.
Throwing clothes onto the street? Really, Samro? I thought her ass was smarter than that. That's not how you hurt or punish HoHan! SamRo should've just sat HoHan down and made her watch all of Labor Pains without commercials. Now that's real torture.
Yesterday was the day we were all reminded that HoHan is not a 45-year-old truck stop vagina vendor, but actually a 23-year-old girl. Twenty-three never looked so fresh and pure. Happy Birfdays, eh? HoHan took advantage of the day by dragging the object of her stalking, SamRo, to lunch in Malibu.
You know this shit was a special occasion, because they actually ate food stuff. And you know SamRo also did the eyeroll mambo while eating HoHan's chocha asada a little later. She had to. It was HoHan's BIRFDAY. You have to bust one your birthday. Just ask this trick.
There's a lot of reasons to love Marie Osmond. She's crazy. She loves wigs. She makes tranny dolls. And she sang the masterpiece Paper Roses. Well, here's a new reason to love her. Marie loves her pussy-eatin', strap-on wearin', power tool-carrying gayelle daughter! Marie's daughter, Jessica, is a lesbian and Marie is absolutely fine with that. She told Entertainment Weekly (via OK!) that her being a Mormon doesn't automatically mean that she thinks the souls of all gays and gayelles should burn in the fiery pits of hell.
Marie said, "I love my daughter! She's my baby girl, come on. So what if she's gay? She's my daughter and she's an amazing woman and a good kid. I raised her, she better be good. I think it's sad when we have to separate something from society. Whether it's, 'Oh you're Jewish,' and then it was 'Oh you're a Mormon,' or 'Oh you're gay.' I love real people. A lot of women out there have gay children. Who cares? I want love. I'm a Christian and Christ loved everybody."
And I love you, Marie! But really, I'd be sad in the heart if this bitch didn't accept gays. I mean, Marie has to be the gayest thing on this planet! Her brother is Donny Osmond for peen's sake!
Put Marie next to a unicorn. The unicorn immediately looks like the damn Marlboro Man. Put Marie next to Glamberace. Glamberace immediately looks like Chuck Norris! Put Marie next to me. Well, okay, that's a draw.
But seriously, now if only Marie can get some other hos to feel that way. If anybody can do it, Marie can (with help from her hypnotic dolls, of course). Viva Marie!
After years of denying that she likes to puff the pussay, Kelly McGillis has come out to SheWired and declared that she loves herself some sweet sweet vagina! There's always been rumors about Kelly's gayelle-ways, but she always shrugged it off. Kelly even married a dude and had two daughters. They quit their marriage in 2002.
51-year-old Kelly is now single and ready to tingle. Kelly says, "I'm done with the man thing. I did that, I need to move on in life. That's another part of being true to yourself... that's been a challenge for me personally. I think that was an ongoing process from the time I was about 12. I had a lot of things happened that convinced me that God was punishing me for being gay. That was a hard process. Life is a freaking journey, and it's about growing and changing, and coming to terms with who and what you are, and loving who and what you are."
I think the moment she truly realized she wanted snatch was when she had to pucker up to Tommy Girl's cum catcher. Anygay.....
Raise a strap-on or a power tool to Kelly McGayelle! Here's to the silver lezzie cougar finding a lovely ladaaaaay to rock. I would suggest Lindsay HoHan, but I highly doubt Kelly wants to bump a 'gina that looks like some (don't click on that NSFL) BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT.
This news also confirms that 25% of the Top Gay cast is gayer than a pineapple upside down cake. I'm looking at you GOOSE!
Michelle Rodriguez must have not gotten her usual daily dose of twatty milk while at a friend's four-day wedding in the Dominican Republic this weekend, because the dyke went "polar bear stalking" nuts!
Page Six says that at the welcome dinner, the bodybuilder bulldog pushed fully-clothed guests into the pool for jizz and giggles. WELCOME! Here's a mouth full of chlorine. Yay! At the bachelorette party the next night, MRod got her peen lips in a twist over the stripper. She reportedly screamed that the wang dancer was "fat and had a small dick." Before she stomped off to find a cunt to bump, she yelled, "This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me."
MRod doesn't like her dicks in size tiny. She likes her dicks turned inside out and pushed into the crotch with a fat clit attached.
MRod needs a career change! She needs to go from angry lezzie in movies to angry lezzie at weddings! Most of the weddings I have been to would've been so much better with a mouthy dyke going on about small dicks! MRod will work for Jack and snatch.
Is that really a beautiful sawdust-covered ginge rainbow I see before me? While trolling the ho stroll last night, I wondered why the homeless people looked shiny and why the mangy pigeons picking at dirty maxi-pads looked so glimmery. Now I know why! That's because the goddess of gayelle ginges, Rojo Caliente, spread her beauty all over the streets of NYC yesterday! When Rojo smiles, a gayelle gets approved for a Home Depot Rewards Mastercard.
You know, I've lived in NYC for eleventy million years and I have never come face to face with the ginge rainbow! Not even close. Whenever I smell the exotic scent of power tool oil, I run towards it hoping to find Rojo....but nothing. I've heard stories upon stories from hos who have been in the company of Rojo! The gods must be keeping us apart, because they know that when we meet, planets will explode, Home Depots will crumble, lezzies will collide and ginge mops everywhere will turn white. Or maybe it's because they know I'll go into a seizure while dry humping her hip and men in white jackets would have to taser me off. Naw, that's not it. It must be the whole "earth imploding" thing.
Why isn't Roseanne on The View? This is the shit we need. Roseanne is not afraid to unleash her batshit craziness and deliver the fucking truth on a hot platter made of anger. I love blog-yelling! I'm sure she broke her Dell (she doesn't strike me as a MacBook Air kind of bitch) busting this love letter to Chris Brown on her blog:
chris brown's lies and excuses
make me want to beat the crap out of him...he uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid mother or girlfriend around uses. you dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT'S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE! as for all the mealy mouthed hollywood and music scene chicks that can't bring themselves to condemn a misogynistic bully, let me say this: your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches.
If this was an episode of Roseanne, Dan would get in his truck and handle this shit. Actually, I think that was an actual episode. Roseanne's rant was just what I need to forgive her for the final 2 seasons of her show. She was on notice for so long for that lottery bullshit.
Roseanne's nipples exploded in anger after writing that shit. Hopefully, she calmed down by holding a babeh. Actually, that would probably make things worse. The last time I held a baby, my friend kept her hands below the little thing at all times. She said I looked like I wanted to drop the baby and walk away. She was right. So...Roseanne should hold a lesbian instead. A hug from a gayelle is soothing like a Calgon bath.
Speaking of babehs and gayelles, here's Sara Gilbert aka Darlene Connor and her kid wandering around L.A. the other day. Don't tell me if those are real UGHS on Darlene's feet. I don't want to know the truth. A gayelle in UGHS is a bad omen.
Lezzie firestarter alert! Courtenay Semel is used to playing with fire (she used to suck on HoHan's matchstick clit), but the post-seizure-faced skank has gone way too far! Page Six says that Nay Nay's ex-partner in pussy, Band-Aid heiress Casey Johnson, showed up at her house after she had a fight with her girlfriend. I guess Casey was looking for some comfort and warmth. She got a little more warmth than she bargained for, because Nay Nay set her hair on fire! "Youuuuuu light up my haaaaaaair..." "Come on baby light my hair on fire....." "Your hair! Your hair! Your hair is on fire!" I can do this all night....
A source said, "Casey went to Courtenay's house, and Courtenay proceeded to beat the crap out of her, and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had to be hospitalized." The source went on to say that Casey's mom had to fly out to meet with lawyers about this shit. Casey, who is also a mother to an adopted girl from Kazakhstan (blame Borat), is now strolling around town with shorter hair, because she lost most of it in the fire.
When asked to comment, Nay Nay played that shit down, "There was a fight. But this is a major exaggeration. We are speaking. We are friends."
Yeah, it was no big deal. The bitch just set someone's hair on fire! Nay Nay probably thinks she did Casey a favor, because her hair was gross nasty and now it's totally dyke-ish and hot. The ladies will looooove it. I bet Nay Nay sent Casey an invoice for her services.
If you ever run into Nay Nay on the street or anywhere else, run the other way like you've got an Energizer battery in your ass. Because if you don't and you give her an accidental side-eye, the crazy ho will bust a flame on your hair. The fire would eventually move to your eyebrows.....and then you'd have to use a Sharpie. Wait. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.....