TomKat

Posh Beckham was supposed to help Katie Holmes with all aspects of her wedding to Tom Cruise, but those plans have been put on hold after the BFFs have apparently had a falling out. The two took Paris Fashion Week by storm and looked like two lesbians from the 1950s. They attended all the shows in search for Katie’s perfect wedding dress. Giorgio Armani was hired to design the dress.

The two had a spat after Posh suggested that Katie drop a few before her wedding. A source said, "Victoria didn’t mean any harm, she just wanted to help Katie look her best for her big day. She offered to share her diet secrets but Katie immediately got defensive, saying she didn't need any advice. Katie is really proud of the weight she’s managed to lose since giving birth to Suri in April and she doesn’t think she has to lose anymore."

Diet secrets? Um…it’s no secret what this alien’s diet secrets are! They involve eating ice chips for breakfast, ice chips for lunch and a tic tac for dinner! Katie’s already lost a few anyway, a few marbles.

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Katie & Posh having lunch in London

TomKat have set their wedding date as November 18th and plan to marry in Italy. Katie Holmes is going to wear Giorgio Armani and Posh Beckham is their wedding planner. Sources say that Posh is helping Katie with everyone wedding detail, because she has such good taste. Yeah, their tablecloths are going to be leopard and the cuisine will be ice cubes and alfalfa sprouts.

The source said, "This is fantastic news for Katie. Not only has a date been set for her big day, she has got fashion queen Victoria helping with her wedding plans. She wants to have a stylish low-key hen do and if Victoria's around she'll be there helping her celebrate."

Don’t you need to have actual conversations in order to plan a wedding? Methinks that Posh and Katie never speak a word to each other. Lots of nodding and lots of awkward smiles, but nothing beyond that. Here are some pics of Posh looking like a call girl with her son as they made their way through Heathrow airport last week.

TomKat’s rep confirmed they will be legal on November 18th.

Guests have been notified to keep the weekend of November 16-19 free for some kind of party. The spokeswhore confirms this, --"All those details are correct, proper security measures are being taken.”

He also confirmed that they will marry in Italy and she will wear Giorgio Armani. Giorgio said, "When I am asked by a friend to make a wedding wardrobe, it goes straight to my heart. It really is an honor to play a small role in that milestone moment."

We all need to find our local bomb shelters; because this is the day the aliens will plummet from the sky and reclaim their planet. Suri will be the new leader of the World and we will all be doomed. This is also the day that Katie Holmes has officially sold her soul.

P.S. – Pictures of cats are much more entertaining than pics of their crazy mugs.

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