TomKat

NYC barely got rid of the crazy aliens and here's one of them again! RoboKatie was back in Manhattan today on the set of her new movie The Extra Man which is shooting here for the next few weeks. So this means Suri is back to working 19-hour days posing for the paps on the streets with her Weepy McWeepster mommy. There really needs to be a union for the children of celebwhores. Suri almost has it worse than Kathie Lee's old sweatshop workers.

You know, the last time these bitches took over Manhattan, I never saw them once. Not once. But a lot of whores I know witnessed their fakery. And what's creepy is everyone who came in contact with them said, "They look like such a nice family." CHILLS. Tommy Girl's brainwashing skills are more powerful than I thought. Stay away from me.

At last year's costume gala at the MET in NYC, Kate Moss was waiting in a long line to greet the event's organizers. You know, kind of like when you meet the queen. Well, the biggest QUEEN of them all sashayed by with his robobeard in tow and cut the entire line (not Kate's kind of line).

This made Kate Moss' snagtooth throb in anger. She told New York Magazine (via Showbiz Spy), "We stood in line for an hour or something to say hello. We're going, 'I can't believe this. You can't smoke. You can't have a drink.' Tom and Katie just walked right up to the front, and we were like, 'Who the fuck are they? They're not even in fashion'."

Those two twats are NEVER in fashion. And I'm going to co-sign Kate's "Who the fuck are they?" statement. You know even Suri asks that question whens he gets up in the morning.

In Tommy Girl's defense, that power bottom always gets to cut a receiving line. But now we know Kate HATES those two and just needs a reason to get rid of them forever. The next time they are in the same room together, it's someone's duty as a human being to drop a coke bomb all over Tommy and Katie. Then run to Kate Moss and shout, "The party's over there." That coke-eater will snort those two up faster than you can say "GLIB."

Just when I'm starting to think that there's nothing more for Tommy Girl to suck out of Katie, I see her looking like this. Bitch is looking like the skinniest dildo in the store. Tommy is trying to whittle her down, so she's big enough to stick in his Scientolohole and stay there.

Katie's itty bitty boobies know what's up, so they are slowly sliding down her body all stealth-like. They know dumb Katie's not going to run, so they are going to try to make a break for it. They will hit her crotch area by noon. Ninja titties go!

Here's crazy-faced Tommy and Katie looking like two wilted bowls of fruit at the Brazilian premiere of Operacao Valquiria in Rio last night. That movie sounds so much more interesting in Portuguese. I bet Valquiria is Tommy's new drag name.

People all across the world make the exact same face every time they look at Tommy Girl and his weepy ass robobeard. Suri speaks for us all with her standard "bitch, please" face. Suri also threw in a hint of "fuckery" face and just a dash of "not today" face. Basically, homegirl is thisclose to taking the razor out of her and cutting a bitch. When that day comes, I know she'll be ready for her gorgeous chola makeover.

It was probably Suri's day off and she already had plans to deep condition her hair and twitter a bit. But then the thetans in Stepford Katie started to itch, so the bitch had to go outside and she dragged Suri with her. This is not Suri's idea of a good time. Especially since that dumb bitch Katie made her walk some of the time! Katie is lucky Suri didn't clt+alt+delete her ass.

Tommy Girl and his roboladies are currently spreading their fakery all over Brazil! I'm guessing Tommy is in town to promote that Nazi comedy nobody cares about. Oh and he's also sampling the local sausage at every Peenascaria in town.

If Tommy would stop waving at everyone like he's the damn president of gay troll land (which he is), he'd notice that Suri is tired of this fuckery. And I wish someone would punch Stepford Katie in her hard drive so she'd wake up out of screensaver mode and see that Suri is trying to stop the madness. No, instead they dragged Suri to the beach for some more photo-ops!

Tommy, Suri, Katie and a million bodyguards went to a beach that is only open to military families. Suri watched the children play, Tommy continued to be a creepy gnome and Katie started to go near the water, but realized it could electrocute her system so she backed off.

Tommy's robobeard presented the award for Best Actor at the SAG Awards last night, because they felt bad for not honoring her emotional and raw performance in Mad Money. Stepford Katie once again tried to do her best Posh impersonation and failed miserably. She looks more like my friend Armando trying to dress as Posh for Halloween using shit he bought at TJ Maxx. Piss Posh.

Posh would never go outside her house with a traumatized nipple situation. Katie's nipples were trying to find the exit and weren't working together as a team. One was heading for the north and the other was going south. They were seizing the moment because Tommy wasn't around trying to use his alien powers to turn one nip into David Beckham's peen the other into Will Smith's. Seriously, that's like his dream come true. That way he can just bounce back and forth on Katie's titties like a pink gay bunny!

Katie's roboboobies were also freaking out in all the chaos. Katie needed to hit Control + Alt + Delete and then reboot her micronips.

After going through a security check at an airport in Berlin, Tommy Girl created an eyeball rolling wave by kissing his robobride in front of the pappies. I'm shocked that the security equipment didn't burst into flames from the intense levels of fakery.

You can see the craziness swirling inside Tommy's eyes just before he's about to kiss a girl on the lips (ewwwwww). He's using his hypnotic alien powers to help him imagine Katie's mouth lips as David Beckham's dirt star. Or maybe he's picturing that pink gay bunny with an eyepatch that got thrown out of his premiere? Isn't it heartbreaking that they can't be together? Forbidden love!

Whenever I stare at Tommy Girl long enough I start to see a gay ass pink bunny rabbit before me, so it's funny to me that this bitch wasn't allowed into the Valkyrie premiere in Berlin. The homorabbit even wore Tommy's eye patch from the movie, but he forgot to put a dead brown poodle on his head. They seriously threw a pink gay bunny off the red carpet. That's Sharon Stone cold. I guess Tommy wants to be the only crazy bitch at his own party.

Stepford Katie was also there looking more demonic in the face than ever. Her lipstick looks like butt grease. You can look at Tommy for that. He probably scooted on her face.

And if you look at the close-ups of Tommy, it really looks like he's getting double-fisted. Real talk: his butt plug probably just shifted.

Stepford Katie is putting her hand in the fire and not even making an "ow!" face. Fire is no match for a robot.

This is Miu Miu's newest ad featuring everyone's least favorite beardbot. It looks like she traded in one flame for another. Speaking of Tommy Girl, I'm pretty sure they shot this ad down in his dungeon. Of course they had to remove all the harnesses, Xenu real dolls and the dildo fucking chair that usually sits in the corner.

And she's so fucking digitally altered that even Second Life avatars look more realistic than she does.

Source

What the hell kind of Thundercats meets Bel Ami shit is this?! If Posh and Lion-O had a broken condom baby who grew up to be a cross-dressing power bottom, this is what he would look like.

This is Katiebot's first ad for Miu Miu and I just want to jiggle a cat toy at her face. If Miu Miu was going for the alien pussy look, they should have gotten Juhani from Star Wars instead.

And like Holy Moly! pointed out, Katie is really trying to do her best Posh impersonation in this shit, but she doesn't quite have the "I need a protein bar" pout down. Separated at the portal to earth.