Fug

Katherine Heigl...Heigl...Heeeigl. You know, every time I say her last name, it feels like I'm hawking up a loogie. That's pretty fitting since she looks like one. Anyway, our first lady of loogies might leave "Grey's Anatomy." A source told UsWeekly (via MSNBC) that loogie is getting tired of that shit.

The source said, “She's working really long hours and is ready to move on." Loogie is currently locked in a contract, but is trying to find a way out. She wants to leave the show, so she can focus on her movie career. We know how that works. In a couple of years, she'll be begging to play Tracey Gold's sister in a Lifetime movie.

One insider said it was smart for her ass to make movies while she's still on Grey's. The insider said, “She’s a smart one. She saw what can happen with someone like Jennifer Aniston, who was crazy successful on TV, but can’t seem to carry a film, and she tested the waters early."

Heigl should move on already. A talent like her belongs on the stage. I hear Mars has a pretty amazing theater scene.

Today just seemed like the picture day for some Corey Haim with a mullet pictures. Corey will tell you this look is for a movie, but don't believe him. He definitely looks like this on a daily basis. He loves it. The hookers at the truck stop bar off route 5 won't stay off him.

Corey's mullet is for a movie called Crank 2 also starring Jason Statham, Amy Smart and Bai Ling. This shit looks like it's going straight into a Blockbuster discount bin.

Maybe I'm a prude or old-fashioned, but I would never let any of my relatives rub sunscreen into my buttocks. Sorry, I'd rather have burned ass. My ass has been through worse anyway.

Hulk Hogan gave his daughter, Brooke, a rubdown of sunscreen while they lounged around a Los Angeles pool yesterday. Yes, that's Brooke! I spent way too much time analayzing the pictures. Hulk's girlfriend is wearing a different type of bikini.

Hulk probably got confused on which skank he was rubbing down. All the chicks in his life look the same! They are all body builders with bad dye jobs. That being said, this is still some Papa Joe-type shit.

Dear Britney Spears, please do something crazy! Miley Cyrus is getting too much attention.

Yes, I'm devoting another post to the Miley Cyrus/Vanity Fair scandal. It's not much of a scandal now that I think about it and I've thought about it way too much. Kathie Lee Gifford (I know, I really shouldn't watch Today) said that the above picture of Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus is much more disturbing than the semi-topless one. Hey, at least she's not topless in the one with daddy. Kathie said there is no way she would ever have posed this way with her daddy. Yeah, but you know she has a picture like this with Cody.

You know what's the most offensive thing about all of this? It's offensive that these redneck twats are getting this much attention! This is exactly what they wanted. Trish Cyrus is pissed she didn't get in on the action though. The Cyrus family is saving her for a mother and daughter spread in Playboy when Miley turns 18.

Now, I must punish myself for posting more of this shit. I will spank my ass with a rubber oven mit 25 times. I was going to do that anyway, but at least I have a reason now.

These are the only words that can be used to describe Dog Chapman and Beth Smith. You can also use the three words I tagged this post with. Take your pick.

Here's Dog and Beth probably buying generic bleach, RID hair lice removal cream and KY jelly at CVS in Malibu yesterday.

Hisssssssss! Hissssss! This picture of Heather Locklear makes me want to say crawl under my bed, say 10 Hail Marys and hold on to my Garfield doll until it's all over. Actually, she sort of looks like Garfield in this picture.

When I first scanned by this picture, I thought it was Jocelyn Wildenstein screaming in pain from the sun melting her plastic face. Unfortunately, it's not a picture of Jocelyn. It's Heather shooting some movie in Hawaii. I need to go wash this image from my brain by watching clips of her as Sammy Jo in "Dynasty" over and over again.

I don't want to believe that Heather is capable of this kind of fugliness. Let's forget we ever saw this. We mustn't speak about it ever again. Put it in the closet, lock the door and throw away the key!

Rumer Willis, Pete Wentz, Wilmer Valderrama and a bunch of other hags are whoring themselves out for Walmart. They are starring in an ad campaign for Op which will be sold exclusively in Walmart stores.

Yes, Op! I had at least a dozen of their velcro wallets. They seriously should be buried along with Camp Beverly Hills and Hypercolor. I lie. Hypercolor needs to make a comeback. I really need a pair of Hypercolor panties.

Tater Head talked about Op, “When you think of LA and the classic surfer beach vibe, you think of Op. The Op collection does a great job representing that lifestyle.” And Rumer does a great job of representing a huge, baked potato.

Tater Head and Pete Wentz are definitely long lost sisters. They have matching flat-ironed hair!

She can catch flies with her coochie! Jenna Jameson showed up to Comic Con in New York on Friday looking like she slithered in from the forest. Let's cut off her clit and see if it grows back! Yeah, what clit? That shit probably got destroyed a long ass time ago.

Tater Head is really starting to make me feel sorry for her. She desperately wants us all to think she's sexy, relevant, hot and interesting. The girl is trying so hard. Even if she wore a t-shirt with "LOVE ME" written in rhinestones, we still wouldn't buy what she's selling. It's okay Tater Head, I loves you and think you're a sexy piece. I crossed my eyes, toes and ass lips while I writing that, but don't tell her.

Here's some pics of the other alley cats at UsWeekly's Hot Hollywood part last night. Visit UsWeekly for more pictures if you give an eff.

Kristy likes cocks and apparently there's a cock that likes her back! The girl is engaged to be married. No, the lucky douche is not the horse she sold to get to the American Idol audition. He's forever mad at her.

Kristy Lee Cook told UsWeekly that she became engaged to her 25-year-old dude, Andrew Dobner, on March 17th. She kept the news secret because she "wanted to be focused on Idol." Focused on making my ears vomit.

He proposed again last night, "He actually got down on his knee this time. He owed it to me!" They are planning to get married next June. Totally knocked up!

Hopefully, this ho gets married, has 30 kids, gets super obese and is confined to her bed for the rest of eternity.

She's not going away, right? Get the RAID!