SamRo

So did HoHan catch SamRo's air kiss or did she just let it linger? Because if you don't catch air kisses, they will find someone to land on. Some random bitch is probably wondering why they smell like patchouli, tuna tartare and cedar chips. That's what HoHan's coochie smells like. Wait, maybe SamRo is smelling her fingers. Eau de FireLezz.

And just because HoHan is licking labia now, doesn't mean she can't shave her stems. Although, I like the way her leg hairs glimmer like a little lesbian peach in the sunlight.

Speaking of lesbian peaches, which one of you smart ass bitches sent HoHan a FRUIT basket to her set? I told you! You're supposed to send Gay Al Reynolds the FRUIT basket. HoHan gets the basket of tools and flannel!

HoHan continued to celebrate her 42nd 22nd birfday by going to the gayest place on earth....Disneyland! Actually, the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, CA is the gayest place on earth. Disneyland is a close second.

HoHan was joined by SamRo and her much older sister Ali Lohan. Is Ali fucking wearing a choker?! I have to hand it to her. She's really committed to looking like a middle-aged, twice-divorced officer manager from the early 90s.

You know they only went on the Alice in Wonderland ride so that SamRo's little finger could fall down HoHan's fire rabbit hole. Hopefully, they also hit up the Haunted Mansion ride, because that's really the best place in Disneyland to do sexy sexy times on the down low. So I've heard.

Here's more gayelles in Wonderland on Thursday along with some pics of SamRo playing gross music for a bunch of skanks at Tao Beach in Las Vegas yesterday.

.....And I'm not talking about the hot bitch with the moobs. Hmmm...they both have moobs. I mean, the hot bitch in the polo shirt.

HoHan was on Ryan Seacrest's morning show today and was asked what she wants to accomplish this year and she answered, "Um..I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on. And...you know....be with the person that I care about and my family." Gaycrest missed an opportunity to burst into song and gaily sing , "Leeeeeeezzzz beeee friieeeeends foreeeever...." Instead, boring ass Gaycrest just went on to the next question. Click here to listen to HoHan's interview if youc are.

HoHan also celebrated her 15th annual 22nd birthday last night by having a small party at Teddy's. Her possibly special someone, SamRo, gave her a gold bracelet as a birthday gift. Gold bracelet?! Did it have a dildo attached to it? What the hell kind of gayelle gift is that?! I mean, no gift certificate to Land's End or Home Depot? No season tickets to the WBNA? No mixed-tape featuring the Indigo Girls, K.D. Lang and Ani DiFranco? For Shame! These bitches need to go to Gayelle School.

Here's some pictures of HoHan and SamRo doing lesbian-type things yesterday. I also threw in some pictures of Mark Ronson performing in London today, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Solange is standing a little too close to HoHan's private pussy. She better stand back or HoHan's greasy snatch hands will attack the Beyonce-hand-me-down-wig sitting on her head! Solange also doesn't want HoHan's twatty ciggie breath screaming at her, "Get your 15-year-old Full House ass off my girlfriend!" Yeah, Solange isn't 15 and has never been on "Full House," but that's the only insult HoHan knows.

Luckily, this didn't happen, but it does look like someone attacked Solange's dress or maybe it came that way? Beyonce probably gave her basement baby sister that dress as a birthday pressie and told her it was a Dior original, but it's really made out of orange silk flowers on clearance from Joann.

Here's Solange, SamRo, HoHan, Beyonce and Mama Knowles at Solange's birthday party. Was her party held in the basement?!

They skipped both of those and settled for the chin dildo. SamRo looks like she could head bop the hell out of HoHan's fire chocha.

SamHo spent a lovely Sunday together in gayelle bliss doing lesbionic things like shopping and eating hamburgers. Awwww...and they even wore matching white pants.

Fire belly alert! HoHan showed everyone on the set "Labor Pains" where SamRo dumps her sizzling lady spunk every morn, noon and night! You know SamRo rubs her steel wool all over that belly and it makes a fire. Then they makes s'mores on it and watch "Thelma and Louise." Sorry, I'm stupid.

For once, I don't want to take a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to HoHan's skin. She probably stinks like stale ciggie smoke, patchouli, burnt steel wool and fish jerky, but she looks pretty decent on the outside.

I really hope this baby gets SamRo's black roots and HoHan's glowing sand paper skin. It would be such a beauty. No, HoHan isn't knocked up with SamRo's love child and it isn't coke bloat. HoHan is wearing a Katie Holmes bump for her new movie. She's also picking her ass while holding a big box of cookies. Multitasker!

In other HoHan news, she's reportedly telling friends that her relationship with SamRo has calmed her down. She's quoted as saying, “She’s an amazing friend. I can have a great time just having a quiet meal with her. I feel like I don’t need anything else.” She's forgetting the moustache ride. A quiet meal and a moustache ride. That's all you really need in life!

Mark Ronson, 32, on his sister SamRo, 30, dating HoHan:

"My sister and Lindsay make a cute couple, don’t they?"

Depends on the lighting. For the record, SamRo and HoHan have never confirmed that they're bumping bald kitties. Mark is just stirring the pot and I wish he did it on YouTube.....with no clothes on. And who knew SamRo was fucking 30? HoHan's only 21 and looks like she can be SamRo's mama je'e.

Source

HoHan and SamRo hugging out it in the open....in the daylight! This means...um....this means....it means nothing really, but I like seeing these two gayelles touching. You know they both have clit boners. HoHan is totally whispering to SamRo, "I'm wearing flannel panties."

I used to think that SamRo had a face only a firecrotch gayelle could love, but now I'm starting fall for her. We can bump donuts anytime.

Here's HoHan and SamRo on the set of "Labor Pains" yesterday.

These two little love beavers always look so happy together. They almost make me want to try vagina again, but I'll stick to salchicha. It's what I know.

And to think, I thought SamRo was a natural blonde (I'm joking). She had me fooled. Linds really needs to take her to get that root situation figured out in between munch parties.

In other HoHan news, she finally got insured for her movie, "Labor Pains." A source told Rush & Molloy that producers kept getting turned down by insurers. The source said that the producer "could only find one insurance company to cover her, and even then he really had to vouch for her."

She's totally insured by Survival. "SamRo can take that ride."