Katherine Heigl

Okay, I'm going to try to be nice to Katherine Heigl this one time (MARK THIS DAY IN HISTORY!!!) and say that her new adorable Asian baby friend softens the cuntness in her face just a bit. There.

Heeeigggl (make that phlegm noise) and her husband Josh Kelley posted the first pictures of their 10-month-old daughter Naleigh on her foundation's website today. Heigl and her husband adopted little Naleigh from Korea. Naleigh's full name is Nancy Leigh (after Heigl's mother and sister). Heigl's rep said that everyone is doing well.

You know, babies always make my toe nails sweat, but Naleigh's little Michelin Man arms did make my dead heart beat a couple of times. I should go to the free clinic and have that checked.

Yesterday, I posted the rumor that Katherine Hagel and her husband were going to adopt a baby from Korea. I filed it in the HAHAHAHAH pile, because I really can't see Hagel coo-coo-ing into a baby's ear or changing diapers without throwing a 2-hour cunty fit. Well, the rumor is true. Hagel confirmed the news on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in an episode airing tomorrow.

Hagel said they are adopting a 10-month-old special needs girl from Korea. Fun fact: Hagel's sister was also adopted from Korea. Hagel added, "Her name is Naleigh. Well, I am naming her after my mother and sister Nancy, Leigh. So we call her Naleigh. She was actually born the day before me in November, which I thought was really serendipitous and just kind of like a sign. I realized just recently that I basically forfeited my birthday for the rest of my life. I wanted to tell everybody so you don't think I stole a Korean baby."

Nicotine, please! You know she's not going to forfeit her birthdays. Poor Naleigh is only going to get a stale Twinkie with a half-burned candle in it for her birthday, because Hagel will be too busy planning her own party. But it's nice to see that Hagel is still always thinking of herself.

And let's hope the police don't get the memo and arrest Hagel's ass for stealing a Korean baby. If the police ask you about it, you don't know anything!

No, not a mother to a carton of Marlboro Reds. A mother to an actual living, breathing human baby creature thing. We. Are. Doooooomed.

Radar says that Katherine Hagel and her husband Josh Kelley are thisclose to adopting a 10-month-old baby from Korea. A source says they have been going through the adoption process for around 6-months and plan to have everything sorted out by this week. The baby girl's name is Nayleigh and Katherine plans to call her Leigh.

This is the same Katherine Hagel who bitched about working 17-hour days on the Grey's Anatomy set. How in nicotine jizz hell is she going to deal with a baby who screams, poops and slobbers 24-hours a day? Oh yeah, nannies. And when they're not around, she'll just stick a ciggie in baby's mouth. LIKE THIS!

And if Katherine Hagel is actually planning to travel to Korea to pick up her baby friend, can someone please mix-up her plane tickets and send her to North Korea instead. Hagel + Kim Jong-il = BFFs

For the next few weeks, there will be a paaaaarty every single day on the set of Grey's Anatomy, because Katherine Hagel's annoying ass won't be there. EW's Michael Ausiello confirms that the producers of Grey's allowed Hagel to take a 5-episode hiatus to go shoot a movie called Life As We Know It with Josh Duhamel.

Hagel, who once bitched about working 17-hour days on Grey's, will start her leave of absence this month. Ellen Pompeo is also going to be away at the same time, because she has baby stuff to deal with.

E!'s Kristin reports (SPOILER ALERT) that Hagel's character will get fired when Seattle Grace merges with another hospital and they are forced to downsize.

Hopefully, the producers of Grey's realize it's a paradise without Hagel and they change the locks and burn her trailer down. Better yet, they just have to declare the entire set a "No Smoking or Cunting Zone" and that bitch will spontaneously combust on her own.

Katherine Hagel posed for the paps outside of Letterman today in the finest dress Windsor Fashions has to offer. Look at Katherine thinking she has this. Bitch should've looked over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear, because the glamorous piece in the background is stealing her shine!

Katherine can never compete with a matching dress AND headband. Somewhere in the world, a community theater production of The Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Musical is desperately looking for a Teresa Giudice and here she is! Katherine's scene stealer will have to drop her hairline a few inches to accurately portray Teresa, but other than that, she's the one!

P.S. - I don't want to take anything away from the gorgeous headband lady, but that brick wall even looks hotter than Hagel.

Sticking your tongue into an ashtray filled with wet ciggie butts, used condoms and crunchy loogies outside of a truck stop in Barstow, CA probably tastes better than licking on Katherine Heeeeiiiggggggl. Put a nicotine patch on Gerry's tongue! Seriously, gird your whore tongue, Gerry! It's out of control. But on a positive note, I think Hagel's cheek has genital warts now. That fits since she's a mega cuntface.

Here's Gerry and Hagel at the L.A. premiere of The Ugly Truth yesterday. The ugly truth is that my throat is having a seizure due to the fact that Hagel is wearing a load of pearl necklaces (yes, my brain always goes there). Bitch did that on purpose.

The walking and talking Reno, NV ash tray known as Katherine Hagel is speaking out about the rumors that she wants to scoot her ass off of Grey's Anatomy. At the show's 100th episode party last night, Katherine said she'll stay on the show as long as they have her, ''I'm there if Izzie remains part of Grey's Anatomy." Shonda Rhimes, that's your cue to let go off the rope and cackle as the ax falls on that bitch!

Katherine also told The New York Times that making millions of dollars stinking up movie sets during her Grey's hiatus is fucking exhausting, but she's willing to do it. The hag said, ''I'm more than happy to make that compromise. As my agent likes to say, 'High-class problems. I don't know if I want to continue for five years working 12 months a year, but I can take at least another year or two."

If Hagel pulled her ugly head out of her asshole long enough to have a conversation with a real person she would find out that working 12 months out of the year is called a fucking JOB! Imagine that! The poor little hag! Being forced to work 12 months out of the year is so hard, but having to look at her annoying face 12 months out of the year is even worse!

After hearing the news that Katherine HAGel, the wicked cunt of Grey's Anatomy, was leaving the show, I did a "fuck yes" dance (involves no-no wiggling and taint thrusting) and haven't really stopped. Until now. My ass can stop dropping to the floor in happiness, because Shonda Rhimes, the show's executive producer, said that shit was all lies. The frown on my face has returned and my teeth can go back to the "grind" position.

It seemed like the real deal, because Grey's cast member James Pickens Jr. is the one who said that shit. When asked if T.R. Knight and HAGel were going back to the gutter, he said "yes." But Shonda has pulled out the "taken out of context" card. At last night's NAACP Image Awards, she said, “Things happen, and … I think rumors become fact very easily. And you know I don’t like to tell you what’s going to happen on the show — but that is a rumor."

James, who will probably be punished for this by being forced to tongue kiss HAGel during a scene, back peddled and said, “When the question was posed to me, I was more trying to congratulate Katie and T.R. on whatever they were going to do. But yeah, I don’t have any special info about it either way.” Like I said, bitch was just praying out loud. And now his false prayers have hurt us all!

And I was about to add Grey's Anatomy to my Tivo once that HAGel stuck the broom up her culo and flew away. My Tivo wasn't pleased, but it has dodged the bullet this time!

James probably just said that shit in the first place to fuck with HAGel. He knows the bitch thinks she's the chunk in the jizz and wants to leave the show to become a big movie star. HA! Siiiiike, bitch.

Source: People

Katherine HAGel and T.R. Knight are reportedly quitting that shit known as Grey's Anatomy. My eyes just jizzed.

Hag and Knight's co-star James Pickens Jr. confirmed that shit to UsWeekly. The angels sang when James opened up his mouth and said, "Yes, she is (leaving the show). Wherever Katherine goes, I wish her nothing but the best." When asked about T.R., chattermouth James went on, "He's going too. He just wanted to pursue other career paths."

This hasn't been confirmed by the show, so maybe James was just praying out loud? Although, a source says the writers and Shondra Rhimes are trying to find a way write T.R. and his hag out of the show. Both characters are expected to DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH make their last appearance on the show's season finale. Seriously, I think in the season finale, Dr. Izzie should accidentally waltz into Hostel and you know what happens after that. I would actually watch the show if this is how Dr. Izzie's swan song went down.

And hopefully, this means we're one step closer to never hearing HAGel's whiny ass voice again! After this shit, she'll make a few flop shit shows, then a couple of Lifetime crappers, then she'll have no choice but to do Dancing with the Has-Beens (which she'll be voted out first) and after that she'll be on the next bus to oblivion! Cross your fingers and hug a kitten! We're almost there!

Image:Wireimage

You know where that award would look best? You must be one of Sylvia Browne's relatives, because I know you know what I'm thinking. You have the gift. Katherine HAGel can shove that thing down her throat. It will fit perfectly. It wouldn't make sense for her to shove it up her culo since she goes caca through her mouth. I know, such hate. Blame HAGel. She does that to me.

Anyway, some moronic morons voted 27 Dresses their "Favorite Comedy Movie" at the People's Choice Awards. The idiots who voted that shit to win are also the people that think you can get knocked up from swallowing. I've had conversations with these kind of people. They really think the spermies can swim down to their baby making parts. I can't...

Okay, 27 Dresses was not bad, anything starring HAGel should not get an award. That only fuels her ego! She's probably on the Grey's Anatomy set this morning toting that shit around like it's an Oscar! I just want to cover her up in bird seeds and grass and feed her to Fishsticks Paltrow!

I usually watch the People's Choice Awards every year, because it's a better sedative than Sleepytime Tea, but my Tivo couldn't handle it last night. It was busy making love to Damages, 13: Fear is Real, The Real World: Brooklyn and blah...blah.. blah.. After reading bout the PCA, it looks like I didn't miss much.

The winners were pretty predictable. Brangelina were voted the greatest living things. Of course, they think they are too good for that shit, so they didn't grace the peons with their presence. Click here to see all the winners.

Below I've thrown a bunch of pictures into one big toilet below. You can pick each one out and dissect them or you can just flush. Your choice. Dakota Fanning honestly look the best, because the MAC Cosmetics counter didn't vomit all over her face.