Katherine Heigl

Katherine Hagel is more annoying than a mosquito buzzing in your ear while you're trying to sleep (speaking from experience), so it's no surprise that her dress tried to leave her ass at ShoWest in Las Vegas yesterday.

Hagel went onstage to accept the award for Most Ungrateful Ho In Hollywood when her dress strap snapped and her chichi almost came piling out. Billy Bush, who presented Hagel with the award, had to hold her dress strap up so that she could give her acceptance speech without flashing a nip at the audience.

That dress must have been a terrible person in a past life to deserve this.

Actually, now that I look at the picture above I think the dress was left destroyed after it took a peek at the "I Dream of Jeannie" beauty behind Hagel. Me too, Dress. Me too.

Katherine Hagel was supposed to return to work on Grey's Anatomy this past Monday after a 3-month maternity leave....buuuuuuut she didn't. This explains the deafening cheers that were heard throughout the Los Angeles area on Monday morning.

Michael Ausiello over at EW says that Hagel didn't show up because executive producer Shonda Rhimes has finally agreed to let her out of her contract. Hagel and her minions are currently working on an exit agreement with ABC. Hagel isn't expected to return to set and her final episode has already come and gone.

Hagel has made it clear that she would rather smile a friendly smile than continue working on Grey's, so it was nice of Shonda to unlock her handcuffs and release her back into the wild. Personally, I was hoping that Shonda tortured Hagel some more by making Izzie get Quasimodo's face transplanted onto hers after getting mauled by a fat dog. But Shonda is a better person than I.

And don't put the booze bottle down yet, because although Hagel's face won't be seen on the small screen anymore, it will be seen more on the BIG SCREEN. Yeah, you're going to need a bigger bottle.

Every now and again, Katherine Hagel's annoying voice causes her scalp to diarrhea all over her hair and that's obviously what happened here. Katherine strolled around Los Feliz, CA yesterday with a brand new mop on her head. Instead of a blonde asshole, she's now a brunette asshole!

Curse the bitch who sent me this article entitled, "Katherine Heigl's Foundation Saves the Lives of 25 Chihuahuas." CURSE YOU! You know who you are.

For the first time in the history of forever, my heart twitched a little over something Hagel has done. Do not show this to my chihuahua or he'll make me watch Wish Upon A Star every Sunday afternoon.

I'll let PeoplePets explain:

HSGN (Humane Society for Greater Nashua of New Hampshire) executive director Karen Bill and Kinder Rescue director Laurel Kinder had been trying for about three months to move a surplus of Chihuahuas from Hollywood to the northeast. Faced with an unbearably long drive and an expensive flight, solutions were scarce. But after contacting the Jason Debus Heigl Foundation — founded in honor of the Grey's Anatomy star's late brother and run by her and her mother — the problem was solved: The organization, which supports animal rescue efforts, offered $25,000 to fly the pups from the West Coast. "It was amazing," Bill tells PEOPLEPets.com. "The ideal situation come true."

Though staffers at HSGN haven't spoken to Heigl directly, they plan to thank her heartily for her donation. "We're putting together a photo CD of all the dogs, from the time we met them at the airport to the moment they go home with their new families," says Bill. "We want her to know how grateful we are."

Well, that was nice of her. However, you know that when they give her the Nobel Peace Prize for this good deed, she'll turn it down, because she'll feel that the chihuahuas were not destitute enough for her to be honored with such an award.

Okay, I'm going to try to be nice to Katherine Heigl this one time (MARK THIS DAY IN HISTORY!!!) and say that her new adorable Asian baby friend softens the cuntness in her face just a bit. There.

Heeeigggl (make that phlegm noise) and her husband Josh Kelley posted the first pictures of their 10-month-old daughter Naleigh on her foundation's website today. Heigl and her husband adopted little Naleigh from Korea. Naleigh's full name is Nancy Leigh (after Heigl's mother and sister). Heigl's rep said that everyone is doing well.

You know, babies always make my toe nails sweat, but Naleigh's little Michelin Man arms did make my dead heart beat a couple of times. I should go to the free clinic and have that checked.

Yesterday, I posted the rumor that Katherine Hagel and her husband were going to adopt a baby from Korea. I filed it in the HAHAHAHAH pile, because I really can't see Hagel coo-coo-ing into a baby's ear or changing diapers without throwing a 2-hour cunty fit. Well, the rumor is true. Hagel confirmed the news on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in an episode airing tomorrow.

Hagel said they are adopting a 10-month-old special needs girl from Korea. Fun fact: Hagel's sister was also adopted from Korea. Hagel added, "Her name is Naleigh. Well, I am naming her after my mother and sister Nancy, Leigh. So we call her Naleigh. She was actually born the day before me in November, which I thought was really serendipitous and just kind of like a sign. I realized just recently that I basically forfeited my birthday for the rest of my life. I wanted to tell everybody so you don't think I stole a Korean baby."

Nicotine, please! You know she's not going to forfeit her birthdays. Poor Naleigh is only going to get a stale Twinkie with a half-burned candle in it for her birthday, because Hagel will be too busy planning her own party. But it's nice to see that Hagel is still always thinking of herself.

And let's hope the police don't get the memo and arrest Hagel's ass for stealing a Korean baby. If the police ask you about it, you don't know anything!

No, not a mother to a carton of Marlboro Reds. A mother to an actual living, breathing human baby creature thing. We. Are. Doooooomed.

Radar says that Katherine Hagel and her husband Josh Kelley are thisclose to adopting a 10-month-old baby from Korea. A source says they have been going through the adoption process for around 6-months and plan to have everything sorted out by this week. The baby girl's name is Nayleigh and Katherine plans to call her Leigh.

This is the same Katherine Hagel who bitched about working 17-hour days on the Grey's Anatomy set. How in nicotine jizz hell is she going to deal with a baby who screams, poops and slobbers 24-hours a day? Oh yeah, nannies. And when they're not around, she'll just stick a ciggie in baby's mouth. LIKE THIS!

And if Katherine Hagel is actually planning to travel to Korea to pick up her baby friend, can someone please mix-up her plane tickets and send her to North Korea instead. Hagel + Kim Jong-il = BFFs

For the next few weeks, there will be a paaaaarty every single day on the set of Grey's Anatomy, because Katherine Hagel's annoying ass won't be there. EW's Michael Ausiello confirms that the producers of Grey's allowed Hagel to take a 5-episode hiatus to go shoot a movie called Life As We Know It with Josh Duhamel.

Hagel, who once bitched about working 17-hour days on Grey's, will start her leave of absence this month. Ellen Pompeo is also going to be away at the same time, because she has baby stuff to deal with.

E!'s Kristin reports (SPOILER ALERT) that Hagel's character will get fired when Seattle Grace merges with another hospital and they are forced to downsize.

Hopefully, the producers of Grey's realize it's a paradise without Hagel and they change the locks and burn her trailer down. Better yet, they just have to declare the entire set a "No Smoking or Cunting Zone" and that bitch will spontaneously combust on her own.

Katherine Hagel posed for the paps outside of Letterman today in the finest dress Windsor Fashions has to offer. Look at Katherine thinking she has this. Bitch should've looked over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear, because the glamorous piece in the background is stealing her shine!

Katherine can never compete with a matching dress AND headband. Somewhere in the world, a community theater production of The Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Musical is desperately looking for a Teresa Giudice and here she is! Katherine's scene stealer will have to drop her hairline a few inches to accurately portray Teresa, but other than that, she's the one!

P.S. - I don't want to take anything away from the gorgeous headband lady, but that brick wall even looks hotter than Hagel.

Sticking your tongue into an ashtray filled with wet ciggie butts, used condoms and crunchy loogies outside of a truck stop in Barstow, CA probably tastes better than licking on Katherine Heeeeiiiggggggl. Put a nicotine patch on Gerry's tongue! Seriously, gird your whore tongue, Gerry! It's out of control. But on a positive note, I think Hagel's cheek has genital warts now. That fits since she's a mega cuntface.

Here's Gerry and Hagel at the L.A. premiere of The Ugly Truth yesterday. The ugly truth is that my throat is having a seizure due to the fact that Hagel is wearing a load of pearl necklaces (yes, my brain always goes there). Bitch did that on purpose.