Miley Cyrus

Pedobear's partner in creepiness, Mark McLeod, was arrested again for stalking Miley Cyrus on the set of her movie in Georgia. This is the same skeezemeister who claimed he was going to make Miley his child bride and he knew they were meant to be together, because she sent him several "secret messages" through the TV screen.

When Mark was arrested for the first time in June, the cops told him to stay away from Miley. Mark didn't listen and he was caught hanging around the set yesterday. TMZ says the cops got a warrant and slipped his wrists into a pair of handcuffs. Mark even admitted that he was there to get closer Miley. He's currently marinating his nastiness in a jail cell.

You know, this dude needs an abuelita in his life. An abuelita who will beat out those "secret messages" in his head by whooping him with a switch and slapping him in the mouth with her chanklita. Dude will be begging the police to lock his ass up after a few hours in abuelita's cage of death. In a death match with abuelita, he won't even be able to get one hit in. That's the truth. And that's what what he needs.

After he rumbles with abuelita, they should send him to THE FARM.

Miley Cyrus' self-proclaimed #1 fan was arrested in Georgia, because he actually admitted to being a Miley fan. That is a crime. And he also told the cops that they are meant to be together, because she sends him secret messages on her TV show. John Mark Karr, please clear your top bunk, because I think you've got yourself a new roommate/bff.

TMZ says that 53-year-old Mark McLeod was arrested last month on the set of Miley's movie in Tybee Island, GA after he made raunchy comments to some young girls in the crowd. According to police reports, Mark confessed to spying on Miley for 3 to 4 days. Creepy McCreepster told the cops that he was going to marry Miley no matter what. Dude even invited the cops to their wedding. He also claimed that he sent the future Mrs. McLeod (NOT RIGHT) two $2,000 diamond rings.

Poor Miley has a skeezy older Southern man with fug hair obsessing over her in a totally creepy way. Oh, wait.

Mark was released shortly after his release and now his whereabouts are unknown. The LAPD has been warned about his pedo ass since Miley lives in Los Angeles.

And in case you need more proof that this dude should probably be in a straitjacket, here's a video from March of him telling the NYDN that Miley speaks to him through paparazzi pictures. You know he really has the crazies in a bad way, because he says New Yorkers are really friendly. I'm offended by that statement!

Actually, it's how I sit in a chair when certain circumstances (spoiler alert: rowdy ass sex) forces me to do so. Miley, however, is just doing that thing she does when she's trying to be sexy. Or maybe she's pushing out a caca balloon. I don't know, but apparently these pictures caused a bunch of little hos to freak out. Adam Shankman, the director of Miley's movie, posted this shit on his Twitter page and later defended the pictures by writing:

"Miley is a sweet angel who works tirelessly and endlessly, and is allowed to have fun in the make up room! Seriously! Lighten up or no more behind the scenes pics! She's like my angel little sister."

Why is everyone still surprised that Miley's pictures look like they came directly from a Craigslist ad. This is what she does! When homegirl isn't chewing on wood to keep her Chiclets sharp, she's doing this. In unison: She's just being Miley!

Miley Cyrus posted a picture on her Twatter of her bad ass nose stud, but there's more important shit to discuss. What in (please click on this) TG Fabulicious Hell is going on with Miley's hairline? Every time she talks, does her sand paper (grit 600) voice rub off some of her hair? Or maybe when her mom Tish gets hongray, she nibbles at her daughter's hairline? Yeah, Tish's shiny tombstone teefs don't look that innocent.

By the time Miley's 18 she's going to look like a wigless Phil Spector!

You know Justin Gaston? He's the panty model who gets paid to let Miley Cyrus nibble on his hair and braid his bushy brows with her tongue. Yeah, that one. Well, he had some kind of video interview with Details Magazine and this shit is beyond! This is what I imagine Christopher Guest's dreams look like. I wasn't even making out with my bong while watching this and I walked away feel like my tongue was going to fall out.

But you know Miley thinks he's like the smartest man since Orville Redenbacher. Which he totally is! I mean, here's a few quotes from the video that will make your brain twitch:

On who will play him in a movie:
"If Ashton Kutcher played me. Like, he would be a funnier me. He's a pretty funny guy. But I'm going to say Johnny Depp, just cause I like Johnny Depp and we're just going to get crazy, like. Like Johnny Depp's going to play an older me. Like when I'm older. Cause he's a really cool actor and then I'll seem really cool."

On who he would like to trade lives with:
"I'd like to be one of those lap dogs that just get petted all day. Cause they just have the best life. They wake up, they get fed and they get attention all the time. I like attention. I don't like to be by myself, so I want to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?"

Um. Isn't he already like one of those little dogs? I bet Miley makes him crawl on all fours around the house with a pink ribbon in his hair. I would! I would also lay in his lap and stroke his brows while he tells me what's hurting his purdy little brain. He'd tell me all about the white shirt he's wearing that was woven by God himself and carried down by the angels.

And it gets better! Justin has Psalm 7:8 tattooed right above his butt cheek. It says: "Judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness." Justin explained it, "I don't want to be judged—so I put it on my body in an attempt to become that bold."

Dude is either as dumb as a butt plug or he is a comic genius! Actually, I'm pretty sure he's both! I think I'm in love....

You really shouldn't be reading this. No, you should be reading your bible! That's what hillbilly prostitot Miley Cyrus says. I'd follow her advice, but the last time I touched a bible, I suffered third-degree burns on my fangers!

In several Tweet posts, Miley went on and on about how gossip blogs are the work of the DEBIL and talking caca is killing lives. Or something like that.

Miley wrote (at least I think she's trying to write), "talk all you want. i have my flaws. im a normal girl theres things about my body i would change but stop with calling me f*t in post. i dont even like the word. those remarks that you hateful people use are fighting words. the ones that scar people and cause them to do damage to themselves or others. people that are so okay with being so hateful diguist me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. kids hurt themselves. this is not something to be taken lightly. i know these 'message boards' are "no big deal" to YOU but is to the victim. this has got to stop!!! oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks. :)"

What the hell is this possum yammering about?! I don't think hos are calling her body fat. They are calling her gums fat. There's a big difference. FAT GUMS. Get a gum transplant (copyright: J.Foxx)!

And my thighs haven't jiggled since 2001, but I think that's a weed side-effect. At least that's what my doctor (aka dealer) tells me.

Image: Splash

Little Miley Cyrus is sick of playing with grown ass men who actually have pubic hair in their private areas, so now she's ready to shuffle back into the romper room where her ex-whatever Nick Jonas is waiting to let her play with his purity ring. That's what a source tells Gatecrasher.

The rumor going around the cafeteria is that 16-year-old Miley wants to break up with her 20-year-old boyfriend of 8-months, Justin Gaston, so she can go around with her ex Nick Jonas. Miley hasn't broken up with Gaston, but that hasn't stopped her from going to first-and-a-half base with Nick. A source said, “Miley was over at the Jonas house recently, and they were smooching. Nick’s parents have this rule that when a girl is over, the door has to be open, but that didn’t stop Nick and Miley from making out.”

The source forgot something. Not only does the door have to be open, but they both have to be wearing condoms (under their clothes, thank you very much) and holding a bible in one hand.

Miley knows that she totally needs to be with Nick, like totally, but the problem is that she's not sure how to break up with that old dude. The source went on to say, "She doesn’t know how to tell Justin that they’re over, but Nick is being very firm with her. He’s a good, stand-up kind of guy, and is making Miley tell Justin very, very soon. He’s being tough about it.”

Oh, Miley, I know it's hard. But all you have to do is get our your cutest Post-Its and your most adorable pen. Then write this note to Gaston: "Deer JG, itz totes over. I luvz NJ again. Letz be friendz. TTYL. Have an awsome summer. I LUV JESUS! Heartz, Miley." If you lay it on him deep like that, he'll totally understand.

"Get a gum transplant" has become my second favorite line (next to "SANS FARDS") of the week to shout at my dog and I have Jamie Foxx to thank for that. But Jamie has now clenched his nalgas and apologized for that comment as well as for the other shit he said about 16-year-old Miley Cyrus on his Sirius radio show this past weekend.

While promoting that movie about the Paganini of the crazy homeless people world on The Tonight Show last night, Jamie said he was oh-so-sowwy about saying Miley needs to make a sex tape, do some heroin, smoke some crack, etc.... Jamie never brought it up, but Jay Leno did. This is what Jamie had to say about skewering that lil' possum:

"I so apologize to Miley, and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show...We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart. Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."

You know, he's a comedian. Yes, that's what he's calling that thing he does.

I have to admit that I laughed at that shit, but my taste level dropped into the gutter a long time ago. It's floating in the sewer somewhere. I think the crocodiles are playing with it. But I do understand why whores flipped their ass lips over it. I kind of was hoping Jamie was going to tell the bitches who had a problem with it to eat his dingle berries, but I guess it was necessary for him to say he's sowwy. I mean, he does have a cheesy movie to whore out. And Mickey Mouse probably threatened to take his ass out. That bitch don't play.

Well, damn! First of all, I didn't know Jamie Foxx had a show on Sirius called The Foxxhole. Second of all, I didn't know how he really felt about Miley Cyrus until now. This past weekend on his show, Jamie and his co-whores completely trashed 16-year-old Miley. They seriously threw that lil' Miley into a trash can and rolled her ass into traffic! I laughed, but we all know there's a special spot reserved for me on the dingy boat to HELL!!!!

When talking about how she vowed to ruin Radiohead for dissing her at the Grammys, Jamie, who has a teenager daughter of his own, and company lifted the lid and went fucking off! The random insults just came flying out.

Wanda Wayne and friends said Miley "needs to get a gum transplant," "make a sex tape with your daddy," "get like Britney Spears...do some heroin," "get some crack in your pipe" and "catch chlamydia on a bicycle seat.” And I thought I had some things to say! Damn, Jamie! Put all that emotion into a song and then I might listen to your music. Better yet, that should be Jamie's acceptance speech when he wins a Razzie for that foolery called The Soloist.

What do you think Jamie will say in his apology? That his comments were taken out of context? That he's suffering from exhaustion? Or maybe he'll pull a Woody Harrelson and say he thought Miley was a zombie.

This one again. Miley Cyrus is doing that thing everyone has told her not to do: TALK! In the new issue of Teen Vogue (via Page Six), Disney's #1 whore is gnawing at the hand that feeds her sugar cubs and carrots. Miley gave her thoughts on Alice in Wonderland, "It's such a perverted movie. It's all about Ecstasy. I swear! Look it up online."

Well, I looked it up online and found that Lewis Carroll wrote the book in 1865, the movie came out in 1951 and Ecstasy didn't start making the rounds until years later. Miley Cyrus is a stupid bitch. I swear! Look it up online.

You know what's really perverted? The fact that this pork rind dust for brains hillbilly is making trillions of dollars. That's what's really perverted.

And I'm not a professor like Miley, but I'm pretty sure the Hannah Montana movie is all about CACA. Again, look it up online if you don't believe me.