Ed Westwick

Penn Badgley and Chace Crawford look like they just got jizzed on by Ken Paves. It's known that Paves cums pomade and weave glue. Chuck Bass is the only one who doesn't look like he just washed his mop in Astroglide. Hmmm....what does this mean? Chuck Bass doesn't sweat or maybe he likes it dry. Even if Chuck is into dry gulching, he's still the hottest bitch of the three. The other two look like they don't know their way around a no-no hole, but Chuck Bass looks like he wrote the book on the subject.

These three future-has-beens are on the cover of November's Details and they talk about a bunch of boring shit. Click here to read the interview. Chace does bring up his struggle with gayface. He says: "Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface.' So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface."

You know what's the easiest way to cover up gayface? BUKKAKE FACIAL!

P.S. - If you have to ask yourself if you have douchebag hair, then you probably do. I'm talking to you, Adnan Ghalib.

The other night Drew Barrymore was seen leaving some joint with Chace Crawford, but it looks like she was only using him to get to the real goods: Chuck Bass. Last night at the Kings of Leon concert after-party at Bowery Electric in NYC, Drew and Chuck Bass were caught tongue fucking each other's mouths. I know. I'm so romantic.

A source told UsWeekly that this is the second time they have made out in public. Shit. This means Drew is pregnant or she's officially Chuck Bass' beard. One of those.

I'm not completely sure if that's Drew and Chuck in the picture above. But I am sure that drunk dude in back of them is about to get even drunker.

I'm guessing that Chuck only stuck his tongue down Drew's mouth because he couldn't stand hearing her lisp anymore! Although, I bet it sounds cute when Drew says his last name. Wethwick. That is kind of cute.

UPDATE: A reader just sent me this shit about Drew and Chuck Bass: "I was standing outside Pourhouse smoking and they walked by me, arms around each other, and he was wearing leather pants and a PURPLE FANNY PACK!!!" That explains everything.

Image: Vanity Fair

You know that dude in the back is totally saying, "Gurrrrl. Look at that flamer over there. My tranny poodle wouldn't even rock those pants. I can smell his ass jam from here. Anyway, fuck this dyke. Let's go see Mamma Mia again." Those dudes are totally mistaken! Ed Westwick is not a homo! Yes, there's been rumors that he's totally boning Chace Crawford, but it's a falsity! He was spotted the other night making out with a chick! That proves everything!

Some witness-type saw Ed at Lit in NYC on Wednesday night with his tongue down some random chick's throat. The witness said, "When the two left together, Ed was leading her by the hand. He was moving quick, but he had time to wink at a hot brunette before slipping out."

There! We can finally shut the closet door on those homo rumors.

Here's Ed wearing totally straight dude pants on the set of "Gossip Girl" the other day. I'm not being sarcastic either. Only pimps and mafia bosses wear pants like that.

Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick have already denied that they are eating each other's assholes out. But a witness at The Ting Tings concert said the two are practically joined at the crack. The witness told Rush & Molloy, "They were never more than a foot apart. It was freaky. If one moved two feet to the left, so did the other." The two also ignored a bunch of flirty chicks. "They were only interested in each other," said the witness.

Only a foot apart? Ignored flirty chicks? They are total butt sisters!

These two don't make sense to me. I refuse to believe that if Ed Westwick loved the peen, he would choose a generic ghey like Chace. I know a bunch of you whores produce major panty pudding over Chace, but he's never done it for me. He would probably scream "OUCH" when getting it in the good hole. Wimp!

However, these two are both starting to look like hipster gayelles. Hmmm...

Here's Ed and Chace at the premiere of "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" in NYC last night. Ok, that confirms it.