Christina Applegate

You know where that award would look best? You must be one of Sylvia Browne's relatives, because I know you know what I'm thinking. You have the gift. Katherine HAGel can shove that thing down her throat. It will fit perfectly. It wouldn't make sense for her to shove it up her culo since she goes caca through her mouth. I know, such hate. Blame HAGel. She does that to me.

Anyway, some moronic morons voted 27 Dresses their "Favorite Comedy Movie" at the People's Choice Awards. The idiots who voted that shit to win are also the people that think you can get knocked up from swallowing. I've had conversations with these kind of people. They really think the spermies can swim down to their baby making parts. I can't...

Okay, 27 Dresses was not bad, anything starring HAGel should not get an award. That only fuels her ego! She's probably on the Grey's Anatomy set this morning toting that shit around like it's an Oscar! I just want to cover her up in bird seeds and grass and feed her to Fishsticks Paltrow!

I usually watch the People's Choice Awards every year, because it's a better sedative than Sleepytime Tea, but my Tivo couldn't handle it last night. It was busy making love to Damages, 13: Fear is Real, The Real World: Brooklyn and blah...blah.. blah.. After reading bout the PCA, it looks like I didn't miss much.

The winners were pretty predictable. Brangelina were voted the greatest living things. Of course, they think they are too good for that shit, so they didn't grace the peons with their presence. Click here to see all the winners.

Below I've thrown a bunch of pictures into one big toilet below. You can pick each one out and dissect them or you can just flush. Your choice. Dakota Fanning honestly look the best, because the MAC Cosmetics counter didn't vomit all over her face.

Over two weeks ago, we got the sad news that Christina Applegate was battling a form of breast cancer. Well, she's in the clear! In an interview airing on "Good Morning America" tomorrow, Christina said, "I'm clear. Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. It did not spread. They got everything out, so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer." Thank Buck Bundy!

Christina was able to catch it early thanks to a doctor ordered MRI. She said that when she first found out she "was so mad and I -- I just remember I was -- I was just shaking - and then also immediately, I had to go into... 'take-care-of-business-mode,' which was ... I asked them, 'What do I do now? What - what is it that I do? I get a doctor, I get a surgeon, I get an oncologist? What do I do?"'

She quickly started calling around to find someone to teach her how to live macrobiotically. Does that mean she can only eat seeds, grass and berries? Can you at least drink booze on a macrobiotic diet? It's made out of natural shit, right? Just say yes!

UPDATE: Christina said she underwent a double mastectomy, even though the cancer was detected it only one breast. She said, "My decision, after looking at all the treatment plans that were possibilities for me, the only one that seemed the most logical and the one that was going to work for me was to have a bilateral mastectomy. So basically I had a prophylactic double mastectomies. I didn't want to go back to the doctors every four months for testing and squishing and everything. I just wanted to kind of be rid of this whole thing for me. This was the choice that I made, and it was a tough one." She didn't undergo chemotherapy.

Phew! I'm happy to hear that Christina is going to be alright. Let's all celebrate by getting off of our fat asses and doing the "Bundy Bounce" in her honor. And don't forget to say, "The newwwwwww Allante" while doing it! Clip below (skip to 9:18):

VIA UsWeekly

I always hear the worst news at the start of my day before I have even finished my second cup of coffee. I might just have to pour a little Bailey's in this shit after hearing this news. Christina Applegate's rep confirmed that she's been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Her rep issued this statement: "Christina Applegate was diagnosed with an early form of breast cancer. Benefiting from early detection through a doctor ordered MRI, the cancer is not life threatening. Christina is following the recommended treatment of her doctors and will have a full recovery. No further statement will be issued at this time."

First, Christina's boyfriend dies of an overdose and now this?!

Her rep better be telling the truth and Christina better have a full recovery. Not Kelly Bundy. Not her. Buck the Dog and I will howl together in sadness. She'll beat it, I know it.

Christina's mommy is a breast cancer survivor. Because of that, Christina became a spokesperson for Lee National Denim Day, a fundraiser to benefit Women's Cancer Programs.

Good thoughts for Christina!

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