Zac Efron

I like where Broadway is going. I applaud celebrity dudes getting on stage and showing their wangs to a live audience. This is what theater needs. However, Zac Efron's peen is not the dick I had in mind to replace DanRad's wang in "Equus" on Broadway.

Zac tells The Sun that he's ready to shed his goody-goody Disney image by exposing his skin lipstick on the Great White Way. Zac says, "You know that Daniel Radcliffe role on Broadway, well it's been mentioned.”

I know some of you whores are producing massive amounts of panty pudding over this bit of news, but think it through. There's no way Zac is going to show off his man clit in its natural state. This is the Cover Girl princess we're talking about. The peen is going to be covered in powder, foundation, bronzer, mascara, lipstick, false eyelashes and glitter. It's not going to look like a beautiful penis. It's going to look like fucking Xtina.

I don't know why the bitches at Madam Tussaud's even bothered making a wax statue of cover girl princess Zac Efron. Zac Efron IS a wax statute. They did however make him look like a creepy, slow, manchild with a busted cokey nose and a Clay Gayken wig on his head.

If you have a death wish and want to see this horrific creation for yourself, you better head to Madam Tussaud's in London right now before Johnny Travolta buys it for his own personal use.

Gus Van Zant directed James Franco in that new "Milk" movie and he also interviewed him for Interview Magazine (via Radar Online). During their conversation, cover girl Zac Efron's name came up. Gus offered him the small role of "pizza guy" in "Milk." And by "pizza guy" he means "Pass Around Pam." Anygay, James talks about how he met Zac at the VMAS. I bet you James had a boner while he was telling the story.

JF: So then when I saw him at the MTV Movie Awards, I was like, "Hey man Good to meet you, Zac. I really like the movie, and I just worked with Gus, and he tried to get you in the movie." And Zac was like, "Yeah, yeah. It just didn't work out." And I was like, "Well you should really do a movie with Gus. I think it would be a good contrast to your other stuff." He's like, "Yeah, maybe." And then I was walking away to go back to my seat, and he tapped me on the shoulder and said, "We should do it together, man." And he, like, gave me a high five. He was really the nicest guy.

GVS: Yeah. He is really nice. We should all do a Judd Apatow movie. You and Zac and me.

JF: Yeah. You should do a movie that Judd produces, and we'll do it with Zac. What do you think?

GVS: Keep your eyes open for it.

JF: What kind of movie do you think it could be?

GVS: I'll have to think about that one.

JF: IF you have an idea and it's like me and Zac playing basketball or delivering pizzas or whatever, I'm in.

They totally want to lick each other's peens. I mean, they high-fived! They might as well have sucked each other's assholes right there in front of everyone. I would've been okay with this as long as they taped it and then immediately uploaded it to the internet.

James and Zac as basketball playing pizza delivery guys? Um....two words immediately come to mind: GAY PORN. Since Judd Apatow is involved, here's a few titles they can choose from:

Step Brothers Who Do Each Other
The 40 Year Old Butt Virgin
Peen In Asshole Express

VIA Gawker

I'm sure that ever Zac Efron was a little twinkie, he has dreamed of being a Vogue cover girl. His dreams have come true! He's on the cover of Vogue, well, Teen Vogue, but who cares about petty details?

Does anybody know if Zac is a Barbizon graduate? As a Barbizon graduate myself, I immediately noticed that Zac is doing B-Pose #231. It was a nice choice, but I probably would've went with B-Pose #12: The soft fist against the cheek. It adds a little vulnerability while still remaining faaaaaaabulous!

And Zac isn't smiling with his yes. It looks like he got a little man chowder in the eyes and he tried to wash it away with Visine.

Click here to see the rest of the pictures from pretty Zac's spread.

When I first saw these pictures of Covergirl Zac Efron and Gossip Girl Chace Crawford, I immediately asked, "Who's the top and who's the bottom?" That's a dumb dumb question, because obviously they're both bossy bottoms. They're both probably thinking, "What the hell am I going to do with this bitch?" Well, their ass lips can kiss and they can lick each other's chodes, but that's about it. Or they can just do each other's hair. Yeah, these two don't belong together. It would only end in a cat fight and Zac getting his make-up smeared. That wouldn't be nice.

And is that chest hair I see on Chace?! I didn't even know that was possible. That's probably a weave. A chest merkin.

Here's more of Zac, Chace and something called a Vanessa Hudgens at the Teen Choice Awards last night.