Nicole Kidman

Us Weekly is reporting that Joel Madden is now dating Nicole Richie. Joel recently broke it off with another skinny bone jones, Hilary Duff. The two were spotted last week at Teddy's in Hollywood. They were hugging and dancing and laughing...blah...blah..blah

They continued the next night when they were spotted with Joel's brother, Benji Madden, and his girlfriend. The brothers double dated at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles.

Hilary now Nicole? He has a small peen. Seriously, that's what my two cents. He needs to get with chicks that make his wang look bigger. A small dick next to Hil and Nicole probably looks huge.

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Nicole Kidman reunited with her husband, Keith Urban. Keith checked into the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs, CA on October 19th to treat his alcohol abuse. Keith is apparently still seeking out-patient treatment.

The couple were spotted at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles yesterday. They celebrated with a pitcher of martinis...just kidding! I'm sure Keith had a shirley temple.

Congrats to Keith for finishing the program! Now keep off the sauce! Source

Page Six is reporting that Nicole Kidman is not pregnant by husband, Keith Urban. Keith is currently seeking treatment in Palm Springs, CA for substance abuse. Nicole is apparently trying to get pregnant by Keith. She has started to wear bangs to hide her forehead. What does this have to do with pregnancy? Well, she's put herself on a botox ban.

A source said, "If Nicole is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, she will have to stop all Botox treatments like Courtney Cox Arquette did when she was pregnant. It would show most on her forehead."

Weird!!! She doesn't need botox anyway. It makes your ass looks worse. Here she is in one of her signature wigs at an Omega event in Geneva on 11/30.

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Nicole Kidman attended the London premiere of "Happy Feet" last night. Nicole does voice work on the film. Does she provide the voice for an iceberg, because homegirl is an ice queen. When was the last time she was seen with her kids? Seriously, dumb ho needs to open an Us Weekly just to remember what they look like.

That being said, her new wig looks goods.

Yawnsville and boring! Happy TomKat Wedding Day!

Keith Urban had a visitor from his granny at the Betty Ford center in California. Oh that's not his granny you say? Silly me, I didn't recognize Nicole Kidman with that mop of white hair. In this case a wig is ok. Her hair is falling out and it's white! Eeek, she's like a witch. Anyway, this is the moment that the National Enquirer claims Nicole told Keith she's knocked up.

I doubt it though. Her eggs are totally dried up.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Nicole Kidman told her husband, Keith Urban, that she's knocked up. Apparently, she visited him at the Betty Ford Center where he's seeking treatment to give him the good news.

Two home pregnancy tests confirmed the 39-year-old actress is expecting her first child, sources say — but, ironically, her four-month marriage to country crooner Keith, 39, is in serious jeopardy. "Nicole's dream of having a child finally came true when two home pregnancy tests came up positive," an insider tells The ENQUIRER.

It is the Enquirer, so I'm not sure if this is true. I'm gonna say know, because Nicole looks like a frigid bitch. Besides, doesn't excessive booze kills jizz cells? I have no idea what I just said. Ignore that.

Keith Urban checked himself into rehab last night for drug issues. All promotional work for his new CD has been postponed.

He issued this statement,

"I deeply regret the hurt this has caused Nicole and the ones that love and support me,"

"One can never let ones guard down on recovery and I'm afraid that I have. With the strength and unwavering support I am blessed to have from my wife, family and friends, I am determined and resolved to a positive outcome."

Months ago rumors of Keith's cocaine problems were rampant and many thought Nicole was going to dump him because of it. I guess I would check myself into rehab to escape that botox-faced witch! Just kidding, she's fine.

Somewhere in space, Tom Cruise is loving this.

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Thx deltaskye