Milo & Otis Cure Everything

Those of you who get the tingles for NIN's Trent Reznor, will have to nurse your fuck part with some Chamomile tea and a showing of Milo & Otis, because he got married last night. Trent married an alien from Mars' Bai Ling Tribe who goes by the name of Mariqueen Maandig. Mariqueen used to be in the band West Indian Girl, but now that she's fucking on Trent's nine inch (I hope) nail, she doesn't need to sing for her supper anymore.

The marriage hasn't been confirmed by Trent's spokeswhore, but his good friend Danny Lohner Tweeted this eloquent message last night:

"goths the world over will mourn this day- off to a wedding....CONGRATS my nagguh!"

Methinks "nagguah" is douchanese for "my fellow dicktard." I think. We'll get Jon Grosselin to translate later.

Mariqueen's extra terrestrial brows are hypnotizing me to say that Trent absolutely picked the right alien to make his wife. When Trent's peen no longer sings sweet nothings for Mariqueen, he should ask for her eyebrows in the divorce.

Well, if Otis was a rat instead of a Pug. Here's a precious video of Peanut the rat and Ranj the pussy showing affection for each other while some gay ass music plays. I had to turn that shit down. That music was way too fucking cheery for me. I played Atlantic Starr's "Secret Lovers" instead.

Yes, this is touching, but methinks Peanut is the only one giving real love. Ranj looks suspect to me. I bet she's a no rat-loving pussy. She's just playing along, trying to get close. When Ranj licks Peanut, she's just trying to get a little taste before she goes in for the kill. Or maybe she's marinating Peanut? This love affair is going to end in a bad way. But don't listen to my stupid ass, let's just pretend they're the new Milo & Otis!

VIA Daily Mail

According to People, Natalie Cole has been laid up in a hospital in NYC since last Friday. Natalie's rep said: "She was doing press in New York last week when she got really sick due to chemotherapy she was undergoing to treat her hepatitis."

Natalie was diagnosed with hep C this past April. The docs think she got it over 25 years ago from her heroin use.

Natalie's rep also said that she will go back to Los Angeles in the next few days where she will be on bed rest for an entire month. All of her October appearances have been postponed.

Homegirl should stay in bed and enjoy some hospital Jello. I don't know why, but I fucking love hospital Jello. Most people think it tastes like watered down Kool-Aid piss, but I love that crap.

In addition to eating plenty of hospital Jello, she should also watch Milo & Otis at least twelve times. I know, I've been on a major Milo & Otis kick recently. That movie is the meaning of life. Below is a clip of Milo & Otis scenes set to a Soul Asylum song. HA! Milo & Otis' love for each other makes me want to give birth to dozens of puppies and kittens, so that they can all be friends.