Mug Shots

Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were busted in Marfa, Texas yesterday after Santa Barbara County in CA issued an arrest warrant against the two for skipping out on a $5,546.96. hotel bill. Both the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara and also the Hotel Bel-Air say Randy and Evi slept, drank and ate at their hotels without paying up! Hmm. My ass should check out these joints, because the establishments I frequent make me pay upfront for the full hour IN CASH.

Randy and Evi paid their $20k bail and are back on the loose. Brace yourselves, Motel 6!

Shortly after they sprang from the joint, Randy and Evi issued a hand-written statement to TMZ claiming they didn't stiff anyone. They also attacked a copy of a cashiers check they used to pay their bill at the San Ysidro Ranch. So, who to believe? Oh, who gives a bitch! At least we got to see these amazing mug shots.

Randy and Evi look like two cult members who have been living in a makeshift cave under the highway for a few years. Seriously, I love how mug shots always capture the crazy perfectly.

Early this morning on Twitter, John Mayer challenged Harvey Levin and TMZ to track down his mug shot from when he was arrested for driving with a suspended license in Georgia in 2001. John offered up $25,000 to TMZ's charity of choice if they could deliver it on a platter.

The Smoking Gun also heard John's call for attention and posted the goods a few minutes before TMZ did. Now they are both scratching and shaking at each other over John's $25k reward. Oh, John, just don't bleach your asshole for one whole month and give them both the money.

Even in his mug shot (which looks like the before picture in a Proactiv commercial), John Mayer has to try to finger bang a bitch with his eyes.

The police officers in Torrington, CT are a bunch of fun killers. 41-year-old Mindy Lomento was just trying to get her dick on when the police showed up to break up the fucking fuck fun. Yeah, Mindy was doing it in the woods where everyone could see, but what was a bitch supposed to do? By the looks of her meth face, you know she probably smoked up all her motel money, so she had no choice! Besides, Mother Nature created the woods just so nasty whores could do sex in there. The truth.

Mindy is a freak, because homegirl was caught with two dudes: 34-year-old Gregory WANKlin (the surprised piece in the red t-shirt below) and 24-year-old David Perry (the shirtless hunk below). The bitch who called 911 said they witnessed Mindy doing sex stuff with David Perry. When the cops showed up, they caught Gregory's dick in Mindy's coochie jar. They were all arrested for public indecency.

Even though the police are not right, I'm happy Mindy was arrested, because now the world has this beautiful mug shot. It's obvious why all the peens in the yard want to hit it. They just can't get enough of Mindy's orgasm face. And I have a feeling that Mindy's O face is the same as her OD face. Bitch is my kind.

Please curtsy before this refined and pristine lady! This portrait is like the modern day Mona Lisa, right? This striking work of art came about after 25-year-old Nicole Marty of Long Island was arrested after she got high, got in her car and crashed it into a pole with her 9-year-old in the passenger seat. Being the elegant lady that she is, Nicole also beat on a cop at the hospital. Doesn't she just make you want to cross your legs and pick up a teacup with your pinky sticking out?

25 with a 9 year old says everything and more. So does the face that looks like it's been living in a cave on an old nuclear testing zone

That being said, If I had a mug shot, I'd want it to look like this (sans the "my daddy is also my brother" face).

VIA Smoking Gun

The two foolios who posted videos on YouTube of themselves doing gross things to the food at Domino's were arrested and charged with distributing prohibited foods. That's just legal talk for "ass queefing on pepperoni." The po-po in Conover, NC said 32-year-old Michael Setzer already was released on bail, but 31-year-old Kristy Hammonds is still marinating in a cell.

Kristy needed to spend more quality time with those jerked up eyebrows and less time videotaping ole' boy effing his nostril with a piece of cheese before placing it on a sub. Seriously, the face should not have two different eyebrows. I know meth probably made the one on the left more spazzy, but a few plucks and a swipe from a Sharpie would fix that! I hope that while Kristy is sitting in a cell, she thinks long and hard about the pain she caused her eyebrows. Oh yeah, and she should also think about how drizzling butt air on people's food isn't right. Yeah, that's not good.

Source: AP

Phil Spector's mug shot gives you a boner. THE SEX. It's okay. Just pour this sweet cream into your coffee this morning and enjoy. This is the precious face that only an obese inmate with no gag reflex could love. If Moe from The Simpsons and a trout found in the waters off Three Mile Island mates....

And STAINS called, he wants his stare back. That shit is copyrighted.

He can still see us......... I hate the police officers who made this dude take his mug shot with his eyes closed! Even when I shut my own eyes to stop the nightmare flames from torching my retinas off, I can still see him and his eyelids of HORROR.

The star of your nightmares has a name. He's Rosalio Reta of Texas. Rosalio was just one of the dudes who was arrested for a ton of murders he allegedly committed working as a hitman for one of Mexico's biggest drug gangs. CNN has the entire story, but I had a hard time reading it, because it felt like Rosalio was staring at me..... Killing me with his eyelids!

It probably didn't take much for Rosalio to murder a person. All he had to do was sneak up to them and close his eyes. That shit will make your heart jump out of your chest, run to the nearest graveyard and bury itself!

It really is Friday the 13th....

In this case, do not connect the dots! They are perfect the way that they are. This hot bitch was arrested in Paso County, FL back in September for possession of two stunning eyebrows. Guilty as charged! Okay, she was really busted for possession of a control substance, but I'm sure the real reason the cops brought her was because they were jealous of her beautiful eyebrows and tried to lock them away.

Seriously, this is some creative shit. During the holidays, she can take a Sharpie to them and draw little Christmas trees. On Valentine's Day, she can draw hearts. And on St. Patrick's day, she can draw little four leaf clovers.

This is an example of a crafty bitch turning her methbrows into a work of art!

Source

(Thanks Kev)

Last week The Smoking Gun displayed a bevy of gorgeous mug shots, but these two stopped my mouse dead in its track because of their serious eyebrow game. I bet you the beauty above didn't even do anything wrong. She was just walking the streets, being hot, when a police officer became mesmerized by her glamour and realized a chola beauty like this should not go undocumented. Her mug shot could be on the cover of Vogue, Elle, Seventeen or a package of Sharpies. Ty Ty Banks needs to stop filming the next season of "America's Next Top Model," because I already found her winner right here.

And I'm sure the bitch below was arrested for attack with a deadly gorgeous eyebrow. His nose and mouth are trying to run off his face, because they know that they can't compete with those exquisite eyebrows.

Thanks MO

Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio was arrested for acting the fool around a bunch of children while dressed in a Kirstie Alley costume.

The police were called after Michele put on a cow costume, pissed on a neighbor's porch and chased a bunch of children around the neighborhood. How udderly rude! The officers warned Michele and told her to keep her udders to herself. They sent Michele back to her pen and thought that was the end of the mad cow, but it wasn't.

A couple of hours later, the cops had to come back, because Michele was blocking traffic. Officers smelled booze on her breath and said she was slurring her words.

Yesterday in court, the drunk cow pleaded guilty and a judge sentenced her to a month in the clink.

A month?! Damn. I thought this was a free country! Since when are you not allowed to put on a dollar store cow costume and run wild in the streets? I better think twice before putting on my Porky Pig costume and flashing my curly tail to frat boys in bars. That was my favorite Sunday afternoon activity. And yes, I know my tail shouldn't curl on its own. I'll have a medical professional look at it.

Source

Thanks Andrew