Baby Names

The population has gotten even larger thanks to Gillian Anderson. A human baby came out of her body on October 15th in London. BABIES!!! Excuse me, I have to take a Valium to deal with my "babies taking over the planet" phobia.

Her spokesbitch tells People that Gilly and her boyfriend Mark Griffiths have named the BABY Felix Griffiths. He weighed in at 6 lbs., 15 oz. Wait. Felix Griffiths and her last name is Anderson? His full name should be Felix Anderson Griffiths. That would give him the greatest initials ever. I would monogram fucking everything if I had those initials. Okay, I do that anyway, but at least I would have a good reason if my name was Felix Anderson Griffiths.

Felix is Gilly and Mark's second kid. They also have another son they call Oscar. Felix and Oscar! That's some Odd Couple shit right there. If she has girls, she can name them Cecily and Gwendolyn Pigeon.

Thank you to Gilly for giving this planet yet another BABY! Hopefully, David Duchovny's obsession with the sexy times had nothing to do with this!

Remember Paris Bennet from "American Idol"? Yeah, most likely not. When a season of AI ends, most people, hit the delete button and completely erase all memory they had of the contestants. Well, Paris was known as "Princess P" on season 5 of AI. She gave birth to a 5 lbs., 15 oz. baby girl yesterday. As expected, Paris named her daughter Egypt.....

Paris and Egypt. If she has another kid, she'll probably name it Schenectady. You know, I shouldn't joke. Paris has the right idea. Name your kid after one of your favorite places. If I should ever lose my mind (well, lose it even more) and decide to have a baby, I'll name it Baldwin Park in honor of the city where the first In-N-Out was built. And don't think you can get away with calling it "Baldwin." No. Call him "Baldwin Park" or nothing at all!

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