Heather Mills

Heather Mills' insanely hot and equally crazy publicist, Michele Elyzabeth (with Bijou), has quit her job. Michele worked for Heather for 4 years and claims she is still owed money.

Michele told Extra (read this with a lisp), "After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person. Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me 'stupid.' I reminded her that she was not 'God' and she answered, 'I will never ever talk to you again.'

I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts. On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press has reported about her."

Okay, if Michele Elyzabeth is calling you crazy, then it's time to shuffle off to the looney bin. That's the pot calling the kettle FUCKING INSANE! Michele needs to go to the looney bin herself for working for Heather for four damn years and giving her unpaid time. Look at Bijou's face. Even he's thinking, "I'm with stupid."

If Heather ever called me stupid, I'd rip off her fake leg, shove it up her caca hole, take it out and then kindly re-attach it. I'm mean, but not THAT mean. She wouldn't even have to say the entire word. She would just have to say, "You are stu-" and it would be "game over."

Below is a YouTube video Michele made last year when she was still friendly with Heather. Fast forward to around 5:10 to hear Michele say "Baba Walthas." It makes my tongue tremble.

Heather Mills promised to donate $20,000 to a disabled mother in Russia to pay for her artificial legs. Of course, the hag never came through.

In 2003, Maria Rybkina lost her legs in a train accident. She took to the streets of Russia begging for cash to get her fake legs. Maria soon found help from a British couple, Robin and Inna Barratt, who tried to help her come up with the money. The couple decided to call Heather Mills' foundation and they received a call back from her. Heather promised the couple that she would pay for Maria's fake legs and all her surgeries.

Robin said, "She promised she would also provide all the medical support needed to get her walking again. She told us that because her charity only helped victims of landmines, she would support Maria from her own personal finances." Heather even flew to Moscow and posed for a few pictures with Maria.

As time went on, Maria never saw the money. Heather kept making empty promises, but the cash never came through. The couple finally found a company to provide Maria with free artificial legs and now she can walk again. No thanks to Heather!

In her recent divorce case, Heather told the judge she needed over $1 million a year for her charitable work.

Yup, Heather is still the most vile cunt in the world. Every now and again, we need stories like this to remind us. Or we can just look at a picture of her. I'm surprised Heather didn't give the woman two of her old left legs.

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Heather Mills can't take a hint, now can she? People have probably screamed in her face to "go the fuck way," but she won't listen. Heather is in talks to star in the next season of "Celebrity Apprentice." Heather is no stranger to American reality TV. Her ass already lost "Dancing with the Stars."

Access Hollywood (via MSNBC) reports that Donald Trump approached Heather, but she's still thinking about it.

The Donald really isn't thinking this through. If you piss Heather off, she'll pour a glass of water over your head. I'm pretty sure the dead cat on Donald's head isn't waterproof.

Heather Mills has long denied that she ever got paid to fuck, but some chick named Denise Hewitt has come forward in a new documentary claiming she used to work the pussy line with Heather back in the 80s.

In the documentary called "Heather Mills: What Really Happened," Denise said they used to act out lesbo fantasies for clients for up to $20,000 a night. This was long before Heather lost her leg. She probably would have made more without a leg, because those bitches with fetishes will pay top dollar to lick that shit.

Denise also claimed that Heather told her she gave Paul McCartney an ultiamtium about marrying her, “She said, ‘I’ll give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t marry me within say eight months, ten months, I’m going to leave him’.” When Paul finally proposed, Heather still bashed his ass to Denise. She told her, “Well look at me, I’m marrying an old man with bigger tits than me.”

Denise said that when it comes to people, Heather gets what she wants, “They just fall madly in love with her and I take my hat off to her because she manipulates people and they’re besotted, like enchanted, you know - like she throws fairy dust all over them.”

That picture above was taken in the 80s and she definitely has "HO face." You can tell she's wearing jewelry bought with her sex money. Sex jewelry is always tackier.

You know, I wish the Heather from the 80s would come back. The Heather that fucked for money, posed for naked pictures and had amazing hair. That Heather sounds fun.

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Thanks Mimi

The world's most-hated woman, Heather Mills, seems to think that America will embrace her. Heather is planning to ditch England and move to the US. Heather spoke about her plans while judging the Miss USA contest in Las Vegas this past weekend.

"In England, people don't like me. But I'm going to move to America, Los Angeles hopefully. I love England but everything that has happened makes me realize I'll be better off in the States." Heather must be deaf and dumb, because she made these comments after the Miss USA audience booed her ass.

The Mirror claims Heather has enlisted the help of Paris Hilton's publicist, Elliot Mintz. Heather thinks Elliot can transform her image. Heather, even Houdini can't transform your bitch image.

Heather has nowhere to run! Even if she moved to Antarctica, the polar bears and penguins would join forces to get her kicked out.

Heather Mills gave her first interview since winning millions of dollars in her divorce settlement to GMTV in Britain this morning. Heather used the time to go after Paul McCartney once again. She said, "I think he's got three different girlfriends. So I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me." They need the luck, because insane Heather is probably going to stalk and terrorize them.

Heather also didn't apologize for dumping a glass of water all over Paul's lawyer. She said the woman deserved it, "Mrs. Shackleton said something under her breath, so I cleansed and baptized her. I thought she looked fantastic – I thought it did her a world of good." When is someone going to do Heather a world of good and stick her peg leg in her mouth.

She plans to continue to fight over getting the full-transcripts of her divorce hearing made public, because she believes the transcripts that were already released are one-sided. Heather doesn't give a fuck about releasing the transcripts. She just wants a reason to go on TV and bitch about Paul McCartney.

She spoke from Las Vegas where she's due to judge the Miss USA pageant. Expect this hag to somehow throw in Paul McCartney in the question and answer portion of the competition. Her question will be, "Did Saint Heather Mills deserve more money from Paul McCartney? If you answer yes, you will get my vote. If you answer no, I will vote for that other bitch over there. GO."

Source: Daily Mail

Somebody send little Beatrice McCartney some beef jerky or something. Heather Mills reportedly has her daughter on a strict vegan diet. Bea is going on holiday with her daddy to Morocco next week and Heather has been making everyone bonkers by faxing diet demands to the hotel.

A source told the Mirror, "Heather has been driving the hotel staff mad, faxing both the head chef and manager instructions and recipe suggestions for Bea. Paul is furious. He is perfectly capable of looking after his own daughter - especially after successfully bringing up his other children on vegetarian diets." Paul should give Bea a big ass steak in retaliation. He needs to take a picture of a slab of beef going into Bea's mouth and send it to Heather. She would go into a rage and tear off her other leg!

And I thought my mother was hardcore. I grew up without sugar, white bread or anything else remotely unhealthy. We were given fucking carrot sticks and tomato juice for snacks. NASTY! We became so hard-up for sugar that we would make sugar water and raw oatmeal with sugar in it. That kind of diet shit can backfire. I may have been healthy when I was a child, but now I eat chocolate cookies for breakfast because of it. Shhh! I put milk in the cookies. That makes it okay and healthy.

News of the World got a hold of this naked picture of Heather Mills without her artificial leg. The picture, taken in 1999, was meant to promote her anti-landmine charity. WTF? How is a naked picture of Heather going to help the cause? The woman just loves showing her chocha!

Heather backed out at the last minute from allowing the picture to go public. She didn't think Paul McCartney would appreciate the world seeing his wife naked. Little did she know that a few years later the world would see her naked. Hairy bush and all! Click here to those pictures. It's NSFW!

Unfortunately, NOTW only showed a censored version of the new Heather pic. I know you were aching to see if she ever tamed the bush.

A happy parade is probably going on inside Yoko Ono, but she managed to keep it calm during an interview with Sky News. Yoko said she feels for Heather, because it's not easy being associated with a Beatle. Please! Yoko is thrilled that she's no longer the only witch of the Beatles. She wants to give Heather's stump a tongue bath. She's that grateful!

Yoko said, "All I can say is it's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles. I think all the wives did suffer, and I think quietly suffer. Suffer but endured, I would actually say." Yoko said Heather needs to "do her very best and try to survive". That's nice of Yoko. Heather really needs those words on encouragement considering she only has $50 million to live on. She's so broke that she's going to have to cut coupons. Poor darling.

Yoko kept the fake sympathy coming and even extended a hand to Paul McCartney, "I'm very sorry for him to have had to go through all that. I haven't spoken to him about that but it's a subject which he probably doesn't want to discuss with other people."

I'm sure that still didn't stop her from sending him a note that said, "You got served! Karma is a one-legged bitch!"

This Michael Jackson costume wig is not going to cut it. Heather Mills needs to take some of that McCartney blood money and buy a wig that doesn't look like it came out of the clearance bin.

Heather tried her hardest to disguise herself as she arrived at Newark Airport yesterday, but ended up drawing more attention to her stupid ass. A better disguise would have been if she just strolled into the first class lounge with her daughter. The real Heather Mills would never do that! She totally wears this get-up when she's staking out Paul and his new bitch. She thinks she's slick!

Heather has also proven that the fannypack will never EVER make a comeback.