Paul McCartney

Heather Mills gave her first interview since winning millions of dollars in her divorce settlement to GMTV in Britain this morning. Heather used the time to go after Paul McCartney once again. She said, "I think he's got three different girlfriends. So I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me." They need the luck, because insane Heather is probably going to stalk and terrorize them.

Heather also didn't apologize for dumping a glass of water all over Paul's lawyer. She said the woman deserved it, "Mrs. Shackleton said something under her breath, so I cleansed and baptized her. I thought she looked fantastic – I thought it did her a world of good." When is someone going to do Heather a world of good and stick her peg leg in her mouth.

She plans to continue to fight over getting the full-transcripts of her divorce hearing made public, because she believes the transcripts that were already released are one-sided. Heather doesn't give a fuck about releasing the transcripts. She just wants a reason to go on TV and bitch about Paul McCartney.

She spoke from Las Vegas where she's due to judge the Miss USA pageant. Expect this hag to somehow throw in Paul McCartney in the question and answer portion of the competition. Her question will be, "Did Saint Heather Mills deserve more money from Paul McCartney? If you answer yes, you will get my vote. If you answer no, I will vote for that other bitch over there. GO."

Source: Daily Mail

Somebody send little Beatrice McCartney some beef jerky or something. Heather Mills reportedly has her daughter on a strict vegan diet. Bea is going on holiday with her daddy to Morocco next week and Heather has been making everyone bonkers by faxing diet demands to the hotel.

A source told the Mirror, "Heather has been driving the hotel staff mad, faxing both the head chef and manager instructions and recipe suggestions for Bea. Paul is furious. He is perfectly capable of looking after his own daughter - especially after successfully bringing up his other children on vegetarian diets." Paul should give Bea a big ass steak in retaliation. He needs to take a picture of a slab of beef going into Bea's mouth and send it to Heather. She would go into a rage and tear off her other leg!

And I thought my mother was hardcore. I grew up without sugar, white bread or anything else remotely unhealthy. We were given fucking carrot sticks and tomato juice for snacks. NASTY! We became so hard-up for sugar that we would make sugar water and raw oatmeal with sugar in it. That kind of diet shit can backfire. I may have been healthy when I was a child, but now I eat chocolate cookies for breakfast because of it. Shhh! I put milk in the cookies. That makes it okay and healthy.

Heather Mills has given Paul McCartney yet another reason to wish he had never fallen for her peg-legged charms. Paul is currently romancing Nancy Shevell, but the relationship will not last if Heather gets her way. Heather is afraid that Paul might start a new family with Nancy and brush their daughter, Beatrice, to the side. Heather is also planning to call Nancy to warn her about Paul.

A source told Showbiz Spy, "Heather’s threatening to call and explain the dangers of dating a Beatle. She had hell with the public hating her and reckons Nancy could too. Heather genuinely thinks she’s doing Nancy a good turn.”

Nancy and Paul recently came back from a vacation in Antigua and Heather was livid! “She went ballistic when she found out. She’s also terrified they’re planning a baby - even though Nancy’s not far off 50 - and thinks another child will detract from Beatrice.”

Cock blocking Mills! She kills a relationship faster than an unplanned pregnancy!

Nancy needs to keep all her pets inside and turn off all her phones lines. I'm getting a "Fatal Attraction" vibe from this. Heather is just like Alex Forrest, but without the awesome hair and extra leg.

Here's Nancy in NYC last night. Poor bitch doesn't know what's coming. Run and hide!

$50 million is not enough for Heather Mills and she's reportedly hired a forensic accounting firm to prove that Paul McCartney is worth more than the £400 million he claims. She hopes that the accountants will bring new information that will get her settlement overturned and award more cash to her daughter.

After Heather was awarded a shit load of cash, she told reporters, "We all know he's worth £800 million. He's been worth £800 million for the last 15 years." The Daily Mail reports that Heather even has recordings of Paul admitting he's worth £800million. Oh shit! I bet Heather does a spot on Paul McCartney impersonation. Well, she has nothing else to do all day. The recording probably goes something like this, "Ello. My name is Paul McCartney and I am worth £800million. Heather Mills is a saint and she should receive all my money as well as any money I may make in the future. Heather should also take my soul and any of my working organs."

Heather has also been telling friends that she doesn't know how she's going to support their 2-year-old daughter on £35,000 a year. Heather doesn't think their daughter should live a different lifestyle than her father. She is hoping Paul will discreetly give her more, so they don't have to go back to court. A source said, "Even with Bea travelling in economy Heather says it's not enough. She is keeping every receipt - including her invoice to her security team - to show that £35,000 is just not sufficient."

I have to hand it to the devil. He sure broke the mold when he made Heather.

Heather Mills is not done fighting. Doesn't this bitch ever get tired? Fuck! Somebody slip an Ambien in this woman's haterade, because she needs a nap. Anyway, Heather is making plans to return to court in a bid to have her gag order lifted.

Heather is pissed that the judge's 58-page verdict was released and she can't say anything about it, because the hearing was covered by a confidentiality agreement. The judge basically painted her as a crazy ass gold digger. The truth fucking stings like Paris Hilton's cooze.

Heather's lawyer told the Daily Star, “Heather is very frustrated. She feels that it’s very unfair that the judgment should be printed in full when she cannot defend herself. She’s planning to apply to lift the ban. It was damning enough that the judge made his judgment so clear and vividly – no-one deserves that. It’s like a prolonged hanging for her.”

Heather could stand to make even more millions for media deals if the gag is lifted. The judge needs to gag this bitch permanently. It's for her own good, because it's making her insane.

Heather Mills must be possessed by the devil, because it's not normal for her to care so much. For some reason she really wants us all to know what a victim she is. Save it Heather! Get drunk, call a 1-900 number and spill your guts out to those bitches. They will really show you that they care.

Homegirl got her money and it's still not good enough. If I was her, I would be naked on a private beach drinking diamond water out of solid gold goblets with Yoko Ono.

And in other crazy bitch news, Heather is planning to fly first-class while her daughter flies coach! This is pretty hilarious, because last week Heather slammed Paul for doing the same thing. Oh Heather! Why stop at coach? Cargo is much cheaper! I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to give Heather any ideas.

I have a very important question to ask before we get into the Heather Mills/Paul McCartney bukkake divorce news. Where the damn fuck is Michele Elyzabeth and her dog Bijou?! Heather's crazy ass publicist promised she would update her blog weekly with Heather news and she hasn't updated since December. I am so mad at her. I am tempted to chop off my leg, so she'll give me some attention. Please come back Michele Elyzabeth!

Anyway, it looks like the battle for Paul's millions is coming to an end. The Daily Mail reports Heather will get £46million. She's agreed to one lump sum of £25 million. The judgment has reportedly been made and the verdict will be handed down on Monday. It's not known if that settlement includes cash for their daughter, Beatrice.

Heather apparently wanted more, because she's a greedy bitch. The settlement will still go down as one of Britain's largest. Legal bills alone total £10 million.

Hopefully this is the end, so the bitch can hop away into the sunset already with all her millions. I have to hand it to her. After only a few years she has become one of Britain's richest prostitutes. Jordan has nothing on this bitch!

Heather Mills and Paul McCartney still haven't been able to reach a settlement in their divorce. Despite reports that they reached an agreement for Paul to pay the one legged bitch 100 million of his fortune, turns out that wasn't good enough.

According to People: It now remains for the judge in the case to arrive at the fairest settlement to end the couple's five-year marriage. The former couple married in 2002, had a daughter named Beatrice and separated in 2006.

Paul was not present in court, he was said to be rehearsing for his live performance at Wednesday's BRIT Awards (which is the U.K. version of the Grammys).

When all is said and done and she gets her dough, men will only be after her for one thing. Karma...

Heather Mills left court yesterday grinning from ear to ear. The reason? Paul McCartney has apparently agreed to pay her she-devil ass £55million. This divorce settlement has made history. The Daily Mail reports that 40-year-old Heather will get £20million up front and then £2.5million every year until their daughter turns 18. Heather has been representing herself after her lawyers dumped her, because she didn't pay them.

Heather has also agreed to a confidentiality agreement as part of the settlement. That will be hard since bitch loves to talk about that shit. She can't talk about their marriage or their divorce proceedings.

Mr Justice Bennett, who is presiding over their divorce proceedings will give Heather the weekend to seek legal advice about the settlement if she wants. They are expected to meet again in court on Monday.

Heather will remain the main caretaker to their daughter. They will live in Britain and Eastern Europe. Heather is apparently leaving Britain, because they hate her ass so much there. She plans to live in Poland or somewhere like that.

I'm so sick of people calling Heather's crazy ass a gold digger. Okay, she's a gold digger, but you would do the same thing. Paul McCartney has more money than he knows what to do with. He's worth like £825million! £55million is chump change for him. Heather is a bitch, but she got what she wanted and I have to hand it to her.

Now she can afford to buy a deserted island somewhere, because that's probably the only place in the world where she won't be hated. Well, unless the monkeys on the island have internet. If they do, she's fucked.

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are back in court today to fight over Paul's billion-dollar fortune. This divorce settlement could be the biggest in British legal history. Heather wants 10% of everything. Heather is representing herself in court after she was allegedly dumped by her lawyers for not paying them. That means Heather will cross-examine Paul. That's right Heather! Get your money. Throw the leg at him.

Heather could get $150 million of Paul's dough. She can finally get her fake leg covered in diamonds. You know that's what she wants to do.

Paul is apparently claiming poor after he told Heather he didn't make that much money from his last world tour. He said he lost $6 million. That's chump change to him. A source close to Heather told Gatecrasher, "He's been claiming that during their marriage he made absolutely nothing. But . . . he went all over America. He claimed they lost money, but she was involved in doing the accounts for the tour. Heather claims it made tens of millions of [dollars]."

Also, a dude came forward to the News of the World claiming he was boinking Heather while she was dating Sir Paul. He said, "He was an old bloke and I knew what Heather was like. She was only in love with what Paul could do for her. She loved the idea of being Lady McCartney." I want dirty pictures or I don't believe it. Heather is a Grade A gold digger and I can't see her making that mistake.

Image: Splash