Our reigning Hot Slut of the Year Spaghetti Cat has been MIA for a while now and I just figured he was in rehab again. Noodle addiction is no joke. SC hasn't been in rehab, because he was busy working on a Nintendo DS game called Scribblenauts. Reader Jeff sent in this screen shot of SC's appearance in the game. This is important, because SC is giving us a profile shot. Yes, he really is THAT talented.
And since we're on the subject of amazingly gifted pussies, here's a clip of SHOWER CAT! Shower Cat is better at taking a shower than I am. I mean, he's washing his head and everything. Usually I just sit in the shower crying into my hands because I'm so ashamed of what I did the night before (SPOILER ALERT: watched 2 episodes of Tool Academy).
The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet is responsible for bringing us the life-changing Spaghetti Cat into our world. For that we will forever be grateful. Now that they have served their purpose, they are shuffling off to take a permanent dirt nap. They've been canceled after 2 years. This time, Spaghetti Cat weeps for them.
One of the HBICs of Twentieth Television blamed money problems. I'm sure Spaghetti Cat could have spot them a few, but you know how cheap that pussy is. He won't even buy sauce for his noodles.
Now that there's a time slot open, Twentieth TV needs to do the right thing and put a Mike & Juliet spin-off in its place: The Happy Fun Time Spaghetti Cat Hour Of Power!
This is the part of the day where we watch a kitten playing with broccoli. The white cat on the futon is thinking, "That pussy needs help."
Broccoli Kitten has my vote as the opening act on Spaghetti Cat's world tour.
Parry Gripp is now one of my favorite human beings in the universe for putting together this homage to Spaghetti Cat. In the video titled Spaghetti Cat (I Weep For You), Parry has placed our hero in places where he obviously belongs. The message is that Spaghetti Cat is everywhere!
In addition to being my new ringtone, this is also my new life anthem. One time, some therapist asked me what my life anthem was. Seriously. I had no idea what to say, mostly because I was too busy laughing from the stupid fucking question. But if some bitch should ever ask me that question again, I now have an answer!
Spaghetti Cat is finally getting the kind of attention he deserves! Last night on "Desperate Housewives," Edie Britt sort-of mentioned the worldwide superstar! I had to rewind that shit to make sure I heard correctly. Hopefully, that was only just the beginning and Spaghetti Cat is getting ready to make a cameo as Mrs. McCluskey's cat's half-brother who is coming to seek revenge!
Besides Spaghetti Cat's mention, you know what else happened last night? NOTHING! I shouldn't say that. Lily Tomlin was on that shit. Those were the only reason two reasons to watch: Spaghetti Cat and Lily Tomlin! The producers should make them regulars.
I bow down to the genius brains of Jacki who paid tribute to the worldwide sensation known as Spaghetti Cat by dressing up as him for Halloween. She perfectly captured the hungry look for spaghetti noodles in his crazy eyes. Half of me wants to cuddle with him and pour tomato sauce on his nude noodles. The other half wants to run away and hide under my bed. This is my dreams and nightmares come true! The real Spaghetti Cat has that effect on me too.
Spaghetti Cat and his batshit crazy owner will be very proud. I'm sure they will dedicate a paw-washing session to Jacki. "This is the way we wash our paw...."
Some of you drunk whores might still be hungover from your night of debauchery, so here's a little Spaghetti Cat to make you feel better. Sip your second Prairie Oyster of the day and let Spaghetti Cat soothe your head.
SC made a return to "The Soup" this past week during a clip of "I Love Money." I hope that hot pussy wore protection, because those bitch's skank diseases are highly contagious.