Rachel Zoe

What Does Chupa Eat?

If you haven't yet seen the 30-minute preview for Rachel Zoe's reality show on Bravo, you should try and catch that shit. I think they're pretty much re-running it every hour on the hour. I never knew Chupa's husband was so.....creepy. He might not be gay, but his hair surely is. He looks like Chupa created him out of pubic hair from a homo, candle wax and Ken Doll parts.

Anyway, Chupa is doing press for her shit show and she was asked what she eats all day. She told Harper's Bazaar (via P6), "It's not that I don't eat. I eat." When asked what she has for lunch, she answered, "Truth? I don't. I'm not a lady who lunches; it's a lull in the day." She went on to say, "When I'm on downtime like on vacation . . . I take care of myself. But when it's me working on my own, it's 7 p.m. and I've had coffee and a grapefruit." Hmmm....

Chupa eats! She just doesn't want to admit what she eats. She feasts on pills, small woodland creatures, children's hair and virgin's blood. You know, the Trollsen diet!



Beauty And The Chupa

Salma Hayek is looking hotter than ever. She left her baby and oldie olsen boyfriend at home to attend the opening of the Sergio Rossi store in Beverly Hills last night. What Salma needs to do is stay away from Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe. Chupa looks like she needs the blood of a virgin STAT. I'm waiting for her to break out into hysterics and beg for the One Ring to finally free her. Chupa! Stop wasting Salma's time and go and get your ring back from Bilbo Baggins.

I adore Salma. Hopefully this is her only meeting with Chupa.



All Cleaned Up

Ashley Olsen looked like she didn't just crawl out from the gutter, Jared Leto didn't look like a douche member of an Emo tribute band, Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe didn't look like she was jonesing for virgin blood and even Rumer Willis didn't look completely unfortunate. Celebrities sure cleaned themselves up for the Art of Elysium party last night in Los Angeles.

Even Ryan Gaycrest didn't look like he just came back from a gay gang bang. They all cleaned up pretty well. Well, except for Calista Flockhart. She's starting to look like Harrison Ford's spinster older sister.



Chupa TV

It was bound to happen. Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe has her own reality show with Bravo. Cameras will follow Chupa around as she styles stars and sucks the blood of virgins.

Chupa told Elle UK that the show isn't about her clients though. "It's dangerous for me to put myself at the forefront, but I want this TV project to educate people and answer their fashion questions. I want people to understand what I do and more about the fashion business."

The only way this show will be hot is if they show Chupa flying through the night as she searches for her prey. I personally don't give a fuck about the "style" part. If I wanted to see ugly and annoying people pick out boring clothes for ugly and annoying people I'd watch "What Not To Wear."



Don't Mess With The Wintour!

 
Chupacabra Zoe infamously said, "Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I'm more influential . . . As great as it is, Vogue won't change a designer's business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week."
 
Well, Page Six is reporting that Chupa's agency, Magnet, has dropped her ass, because of that little comment. A source said, "They didn't want to anger Anna and Anna is more important to work with."
 
Chupa told Page Six that she's the one that left and she wasn't dumped.
And it starts! Anna Wintour will take everything from that Chupa. Well, almost everything. She can't take her good looks since it's obvious someone took that a long time ago.
 
I have faith in Chupa though. She'll pull through. Nicole Richie better keep her baby away from her though, because I can already see Chupa licking her chops!
 
 


Chupa Is The Fashion Jeebus

 
Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe basically thinks she's the Messiah of Fashion. She told The New York Times Magazine that she's more influental than Vogue editor, Anna Wintour.
 
Chupa said, "Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I’m more influential. As great as it is, Vogue won’t change a designer’s business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week.
 
Chupa apparently makes $6,000 a day to make girls look like old ladies.
 
Chupa needs some virgin blood stat, because the lack of it is making her brains turn to mush. The Wintour has probably already made a call to the gay mafia to take care of Chupa. By take care of her I mean invite her to a dinner at Outback Steakhouse, fatten her up so the fashion industry will never talk to her again!
 
Ewww...can you imagine a fat Chupa?  
 
Source
Thanks Beedbeads
 


Worried About Chupa

 
Rachel "Chupacabara" Zoe looks sooo....beige. What's going on. Is she not getting her daily dose of virgin blood? I'd say it's botox, but that's impossible. The amount of botox it would take to fill the Grand Canyon is the same amount it would take to fill Chupa's cracks.
 
Luckily it's fashion week, so there's enough 12-year-old skinny model blood for Chupa to feast on.
 
Here's Chupa with Jacquetta Wheeler at the Marchesa show today.
 
 
 


Chupa's Next Victim!!!!!

 
Elisabeth Hasselcrack better watch her ass! Rachel "Chupa" Zoe is coming for her unborn baby!!!!!  Look at that smile on Chupa's face! If I was Hasselcrack, I'd head into the bathroom, wipe off that disgusting eye make-up and then skedaddle home with a ring of garlic around my neck! 
 
Here's Chupa and Crack at Instyle's Super Saturday yesterday in Watermill, NY. 
 
 
 
 
 


Chupacabra's Got A Man!

 
Holy hell! Did Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe actually snag a human male!? You know and he's not half bad either. She still belongs with Skeletor Marc Anthony, but this dude will do for now.
 
Chupa showed off her new piece at the CFDA Awards last night in NYC. Imagine hittin' Chupa? Her dick-sucking skills are probably bleak! I doubt she can even deep throat a Juicy Juice straw.
 
 


There She Goes Again!

 
Cameron Diaz would be a lot more attractive if she shut her lips. Seriously, the producers of Shrek 3 should've kept her off the talk show circuit. Anyway, Cameron is sick of people blaming her for being so damn gorgeous.
 
She said, "If a woman who's a successful actress weighs 300 pounds and has warts, nobody ever asks her, 'Do you think you made it because you're ugly?' So why should there be prejudice against someone who's had some success in films and looks a little better than average. It's all in my genes, so don't hold it against me."
 
She needs to fix that nose job before she goes around calling herself beautiful. Has anyone seen Cameron since last night? She was spotted with Rachel Zoe and well...Rachel does feed off of the beautiful and since Cammy is so stupidly-mind-boggling-gorgeous she'd be a prime victim for Chupa!
 
Source: US Weekly
 
 
 


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