Rachel Zoe

If you haven't yet seen the 30-minute preview for Rachel Zoe's reality show on Bravo, you should try and catch that shit. I think they're pretty much re-running it every hour on the hour. I never knew Chupa's husband was so.....creepy. He might not be gay, but his hair surely is. He looks like Chupa created him out of pubic hair from a homo, candle wax and Ken Doll parts.

Anyway, Chupa is doing press for her shit show and she was asked what she eats all day. She told Harper's Bazaar (via P6), "It's not that I don't eat. I eat." When asked what she has for lunch, she answered, "Truth? I don't. I'm not a lady who lunches; it's a lull in the day." She went on to say, "When I'm on downtime like on vacation . . . I take care of myself. But when it's me working on my own, it's 7 p.m. and I've had coffee and a grapefruit." Hmmm....

Chupa eats! She just doesn't want to admit what she eats. She feasts on pills, small woodland creatures, children's hair and virgin's blood. You know, the Trollsen diet!

Salma Hayek is looking hotter than ever. She left her baby and oldie olsen boyfriend at home to attend the opening of the Sergio Rossi store in Beverly Hills last night. What Salma needs to do is stay away from Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe. Chupa looks like she needs the blood of a virgin STAT. I'm waiting for her to break out into hysterics and beg for the One Ring to finally free her. Chupa! Stop wasting Salma's time and go and get your ring back from Bilbo Baggins.

I adore Salma. Hopefully this is her only meeting with Chupa.

Ashley Olsen looked like she didn't just crawl out from the gutter, Jared Leto didn't look like a douche member of an Emo tribute band, Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe didn't look like she was jonesing for virgin blood and even Rumer Willis didn't look completely unfortunate. Celebrities sure cleaned themselves up for the Art of Elysium party last night in Los Angeles.

Even Ryan Gaycrest didn't look like he just came back from a gay gang bang. They all cleaned up pretty well. Well, except for Calista Flockhart. She's starting to look like Harrison Ford's spinster older sister.

It was bound to happen. Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe has her own reality show with Bravo. Cameras will follow Chupa around as she styles stars and sucks the blood of virgins.

Chupa told Elle UK that the show isn't about her clients though. "It's dangerous for me to put myself at the forefront, but I want this TV project to educate people and answer their fashion questions. I want people to understand what I do and more about the fashion business."

The only way this show will be hot is if they show Chupa flying through the night as she searches for her prey. I personally don't give a fuck about the "style" part. If I wanted to see ugly and annoying people pick out boring clothes for ugly and annoying people I'd watch "What Not To Wear."