RDJ

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Homeboy: The Hunt for Jude Law's Next Baby Mama has wrapped up principal photography and is due out this Christmas, but The Mirror claims shit is about to change in a major way. According to sources, Warner Bros. wasn't exactly blowing jizz bombs over the final cut and has demanded that Guy fix it pronto. They want Guy to re-shoot some scenes and add Sherlock's arch rival, the evil Professor Moriarty, to the movie.

After being scolded by mommy and daddy, Guy immediately asked his old Snatch friend Brad Pitt to step in as Moriarty. Luckily for Guy, Brad has an open spot in his schedule and is available for the re-shoots. Brad has already arrived in London and will soon begin shooting.

A source said, “It was an oversight in the film not to make a bigger deal about Moriarty. He is mentioned as Holmes’ arch enemy, but the bosses wanted Guy to make more of him. Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr have already shot their scenes. But now that 10 extra days have been added to shoot the new ones, they may be called back for a day or two."

Because of all the changes, the movie won't open this Christmas and has been pushed into 2010.

Why bother with Benjamin Button's?! I recently read that Guy wanted to explore Sherlock and Watson's homoerotic relationship in this movie, so he could've just added a good old-fashioned ass-to-mouth scene at the end to sell more tickets. Nothing puts hos in seats like gay porn. Besides, I always felt that Watson's face should be covered in man gravy when Sherlock delivers his signature line: "Elementary, my dear Watson." Just pretend that made sense.

UPDATE: Well, fuck. A spokeswhore for Warner Bros. says this lies. They issued this statement to UsWeekly: "The report in today’s London Mirror is completely inaccurate. Brad Pitt is not joining the cast of Sherlock Holmes and we're extremely pleased with the production of the film. As planned, it will be released on Christmas Day, 2009. In order to complete the movie, we've scheduled a few days on set to shoot a couple of additional scenes, obtain pick-up shots, and perfect some of the visual effects elements, all of which is standard filmmaking practice."

Loki's soulmate, Robert Downey Jr. and ScarJo are all on the cover of the latest Entertainment Weekly as their Iron Man characters. While I appreciate seeing RDJ's plastic red mango crotch and Mickey's always-precious chilaquiles face, I am not amused by ScarJo.

It looks like she has Carrot Top's luscious dick bush on her head. They should've just wrapped Carrot Top's peen in black leather and had it play the Black Widow. It would probably do a better Russian accent than ScarJo too. OH FUCK, her Russian accent is going to make the entire city of Moscow weep for a thousand years. They are barely getting over Harrison Ford's butchery in K-19: Widowmaker.

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Homey: The Search For Jude Law's Hairline starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law isn't hitting theaters until Christmastimes, but there's already a trailer out. Guy Ritchie sold out to the man and the result doesn't look that awful. I mean, this isn't the Sherlock Homey isn't at all likes the books. This has a lot of fighting, hard nipples, lost hairlines, explosions, cliche slow-mo shit and silly British accents! Seriously, his accent is kind of funny. I bet Vadge's roidy-pussay sounds like that when it's had too much champagne. That was Guy's inspiration.

Hopefully, Sherlock Homey won't be the latest in a string of shit shows for Guy Ritchie. Although, Swept Away is still one of my favorite movies to bong too. Try it. Vadge's acting skills paired with some of the sweet green makes for a hilarious fucking experience.

Vadge's last victim, Robert Downey Jr. and some old timey bank robber all went out together in London last night. The three of these scallywags are working on that Sherlock Holmes movie shit together. Guy's nuts might be growing back, because he was all smiles and held his head up high as they all made their way to a party at the White Cube Gallery. Guy could be all smiley and shit because he's excited about the open bar he's about to attack. Open bars cure almost any problem!

If you've been shot at by your man, lost your corner on the ho stroll and caught your dog doing wet doody times in your favorite shoes all on the same day....none of that matters if you have an open bar in front of you. It's a beautiful thing. Some people go to church or the crack house to ease the pain, I find an open bar!