Yeah Okay

PETA is holding a bucket of red paint with Liam Neeson's name on it, because he admitted that while shooting The Grey, he really got method by slurping on some wolf meat stew. The movie's director Joe Carnahan thought that the cast would really get into their roles as planewrecked oil workers battling against a wolf pack if they digested some wolf meat. Liam went with it and at a press conference for the movie he told us what White Fang tastes like:

"It was very gamey. But I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner."

Note to you hos out there who can't fap unless there's a picture of Liam Neeson in front of you: Just throw a lot of carrots and onions on your genitals, and your fap dreams can come true!

Liam talking about eating wolf meat made its way into the ears of the full-time statement makers at PETA and so they obviously had something to say about it to The Guardian:

"Neeson's stance on kindness to animals is sorely out of step with the rest of the world," said Peta in a statement, insisting that wolves were in fact shy beasts unlikely to target humans rather than the predatory creatures seen in The Grey. The statement added: "Don't just shy away. Run away from The Grey."

Peta also criticised Carnahan for allegedly ordering wolf carcasses from a trapper for use in the film. "Many animals caught in traps chew off their own limbs in order to escape," said spokeswoman Jane Dollinger. "These animals go on to die of gangrene or other secondary infections, sometimes leaving nursing puppies abandoned to fend for themselves."

Wolf carcasses aside, PETA is just being PETA yet again. They've earned so many STUNT QUEEN crowns that they're going to need a wider head to fit them all. Swallowing a glob of wolf meat is wrong, but swallowing a glob of chicken, cow, pig or turkey meat isn't? Besides, how does PETA know that Liam didn't go full method by surviving by himself in the snowy wilderness for weeks and catching wolves to eat with his bare hands, because that's possible. But Liam and Joe should still try to get back in PETA's good graces by pulling the movie from theaters and reshooting it entirely with Shaun Ellis playing every wolf.

And of course, to get into character, Liam's gonna need to eat some Shaun Ellis and I don't mean that in a cannibal kind of way (wink wink). Do they make carrot-flavored lube?

Just like when Brit Brit mowed her swamp weave and when Felicity took a machete to her curly hair mane, the children are losing their shit (put a diaper on 'em) over 11-year-old Willow Smith snipping her hair whip off and I'm sure you've already seen this highly important world news on CNN Jr.

The newest Smith Family ATM Machine posted a Tweeted of pictures of her buzzed cue ball and my first thought was: Stop making fucking fart faces or it will stay like that forever and then Will & Jada will have a really hard time making more money off of you. My second thought was: Oh, so that's what a real life Oscar from Shark Tale looks like. No, really, shaving her head totally brings out the Will Smith in her face.

In what has to be one of the weirdest American traditions next to stabbing each other's faces off for a 10% off Xbox360 controller the day after Thanksgiving, hundreds pulled themselves out of bed to gather around Punxsutawney Phil's burrow hole in Pennsylvania to predict if we'll have six more weeks of whatever season we're in. The weather tells me that it's not winter, because I wore a t-shirt yesterday and didn't get frostbite to the nipples. This is like winter in hell. YAY for global warming! Let's all raise a can of Aqua Net and spray until the hole in the ozone layer spreads wider than a power bottom on DP Tuesdays at the bathhouse. Keep spraying until it's ten million degrees everywhere, we're all in our thongs we can't walk down the street without tripping over a seal.

Anyway, Punksatwatney Phil pulled his fat, lazy, works-one-day-a-year ass out of his burrow hole this morning and locked eyes with his shadow. Whatever. Phil doesn't know his asshole from his shadow. I would trust the weather prediction skills of a gerbil out of Richard Gere's burrow hole before I would ever trust Phil. We should just let Phil live his lazy life by letting him sleep in on February 2nd. Besides, Phil needs his rest, because in a couple of years, winter will not exist and the heat will bring him out of his burrow hole forever. Phil will have to shave his coat off and drag himself across the desert to bitch fight a seal for the last drop of water in a discarded Poland Springs bottle. On that note...

Happy Bill Murray Day, everyone!

And here's some pictures of Phil's Canadian third cousin, The Lesbeaver, shooting scenes for the all-girl remake of Gleaming the Cube in Miami yesterday.

Vanity Fair(Skin) pushed our their annual Hollywood issue were they spread the supposedly freshest and hottest shit all over their cover. This year they put Rooney Mara, Mia Wasikowska, Jennifer Lawrence and Jessica Chastain on the cover, and pushed the non-troll Olsen, Elisabeth Olsen, Adepero Oduye, Shailene Woodley, Paula Patton, Felicity Jones, Phil Collins' daughter and Brit Marling to the side.

You know, this issue is supposed to be the WHO'S FUCKING WHO of Hollywood, but mostly it's just the WHO?NOREALLYWHO? of Hollywood. And it was wrong of me to say that there are only two non-white girls here, because it's well known that Rooney Mara is half Vulcan and half Hot Topicanese.

Well well well... Just days after Brandi Glanville bragged about putting her mouth on an oily, half hard wiener, LeAnn Rimes practically did the same thing at a Mavericks game in Dallas last night. Is there any part of Brandi's life this bitch won't copy + paste onto hers? Bitch is as shameless as the sick dragon dog-loving porn freaks out there who are totally fapping to this and this (although, sh e might be gagging herself to skinny in the second one).

I know the real story here is that LeAnn is not wearing a bikini (mark this day, etc...), is not Twatting and is putting something in her mouth other than her own fucking foot, but I'm going to ignore both of those things to say how disappointed I am that Khloe Kardashian didn't let out an attack roar before jumping on LeAnn. I've been waiting for a sequel to Mothra vs. King Kong for forever!

If Lindsay Lohan isn't pushing ridiculous lawsuits out of her lawyer's ass, her lawyer's ass is taking ridiculous lawsuits filed against her. Remember during Lindsay Lohan's crackier days when she nearly sent a sunglasses-wearing child to Jesus when clipped the kid's stroller wheel with her Maserati? (Click here if you want to dip back into the fuckery to relive the coked-up memories.) The kid's soul was scarred, because she stared into the eyes of a meth-faced ghost, but other than that she rolled away without any injures. But the nanny pushing the kid is now saying that she got injured and she wants some cash from LiLo.

Nubia Del Carmen Preza (which I'm pretty sure is the same name as one of the queens on the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race) filed a lawsuit in L.A. yesterday claiming that she got messed up physically during the September 2010 accident (or was it?). Radar says that Nubia Del Carmen Preza is also suing the car company who let LiLo use their Maserati.

At the time, LiLo denied clipping the stroller, but she'll also deny she's a coke whore to your face while she's got an 8-ball up her nostril and a drug dealer's peen up her poon (or vice versa, depending on her mood). Nubia never filed a report with the police department and this lawsuit is the first time anyone has ever heard about her so-called injuries.

It's obvious that Nubia is straight scamming a trick and she's estúpida for doing so. Nubia is a Latina who isn't famous. LiLo is a white celebwhore who has proven time and time again that the justice system is her personal bitch. Six seconds after they stroll into court, LiLo will be pardoned for EVERYTHING and Nubia will be sentenced to 3 years in a mythical place we've never heard of called an "overcrowded-proof jail."

The soon-to-be Mrs. Rojo Caliente, Cynthia Nixon, caused a shit storm yesterday when she said that she chose to be a lesbian and that in her personal opinion she believes that for some hos it is a choice. Some gay activists lit her asshole up for giving ammo to homophobes and some homophobes gladly used that ammo by leaving comments on other sites like, "One of dem admitted it's a choice! See!" I just wanted Rojo to take me in her teddy bear arms and hold me until bitches stopped screaming at each other.

Well, in another interview, Cynthia gets into her sexuality more. Cynthia says that when she was with a dude, she loved that dude with her heart and loved his peen with her poon. Now that she's with the most beautiful lesbian in the world, she loves that woman with her heart, and loves that woman's poon with her poon. But Cynthia doesn't consider herself bisexual, because nobody likes bisexuals. This is a piece of her conversation with The Daily Beast's Kevin Sessums:

KS: Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.

CN: It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who feel 100 percent straight, it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t pull out the “bisexual” word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.

KS: But it is the “B” in LGBT.

CN: I know. But we get no respect.

KS: You just said “we,” so you must self-identify as one.

CN: I just don’t like to pull out that word. But I do completely feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and in lust with those men. And then I met Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in some kind of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt.

So Cynthia thinks that bisexuals don't get any respect and that's her reason for not identifying as one? The hell kind of logic is that? Dumb sluts don't get any respect, but that doesn't stop me from proudly proclaiming that I am one, because maybe one day we'll get the respect we deserve (we won't). Oh, Cynthia. This is a mess. But if Cynthia thinks she's a whateversexual, then she's a whateversexual. It's her sexuality and she can define it any way she wants.

Personally, when it comes to sexuality the only questions I ever have are: Do you have a peen? How big is it? Can I see it? Why did you just throw that drink in my face? Can you do it again?

via Towleroad

Tilda Swinton, ROBBED! Uggie the Dog, ROBBED! Michael Fassbender's big dick, ROBBED! Almodovar, ROBBED! Emma Stone's thirsty, busted, five cent curly fries wig from The Help, ROBBED! The diarrhea pie from The Help, ROBBED! The Help for Best Movie That Should've Been On The Hallmark Channel Instead, ROBBED! That satin scorpion jacket Ryan Gosling wore all through Drive, ROBBED! The guy behind me who snored all through Tree of Life for Most Appropriate Soundtrack, ROBBED! The ROBBED list goes on and on and on....

Jennifer Lawrence, who I'm pretty sure was asleep during the whole thing, and some token old white dude presented the Oscar nominations this morning and most of them were to be expected (Streep, Clooney, Pitt, Williams, The Artist for pretty much everything) but there were a few HUHS? and surprises like Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Melissa McCarthy, The Help for Best Movie and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Oscar Baity for Best Movie. If Extremely Loud wins, the only person they need to thank is Marky Mark, because if he was on one of those 9/11 plans, their movie would've never existed!

AnytheyareallgoingtohellfornotnominatingTilda, the full nomination list is after the jump and even though there's a lot of gold-plated fuckery here, I love that the Oscar dude showed Madge and Elton John who the real bitch queen is by shutting both of them out. JUMP!

Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips is working with Ke$hit on her next album and the answer to your first question "How much of the bad shit is he snorting to get through that?" was Tweeted by him before you even asked it. But before you write an essay for your 8th grade English class about how Wayne and Ke$ha are your new idols for being SO COOL!!!, SO EDGIES!!! and SO ROCKNROLLZ!!!, I should tell you that she Tweet claims that those sloppy ass lines are just crushed up Tums.

Whatever that shit is, it should come with every purchase of Ke$ha's next album. If it's coke, you're going to want to smoke it through that Sprite can to numb the pain after her musical herpes gets into your head. If it's TUMS, you're going to want to snort it through your ear holes to stop your eardrums from burning (note: earburn is a real thing). So thanks, Ke$hit!

via ONTD

Ingredients:

Two heaping cups of Shakira's She-Wolf video

The root from Grace Jones' iconic pussy stretch pose

1 clove of Lady Gaga's anime eyes, minced

Half a slice of RiRi's Umbrella video, cut into cubes

An entire box of Crayola pastel chalk, melted

A handful of nose cartilage, coarsely crushed

An entire bag of generic brand silicone (preferably a bag that is past its expiration date)

Directions: Throw all ingredients into one of Lil' Kim's old pink wigs, securely tie wig up with a garland of tarantula legs, throw it on the ground and pound with your ass until your jumping bowels are hitting your brain so much that you start to experience a slight epileptic seizure. Serve on a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ. If a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ is not available, serve on a brain dead rake. If a brain dead rake is not availabe, just serve on a Kardashian.

via Crunk + Disorderly