Yeah Okay

Since I'm pretty much riding the ass of this "Levi Johnston in Playgirl" saga, here's the first teaser image from his full spread. It really isn't much, but we do get to see the pube bush on his pit. Although, Levi shouldn't be so quick to show off his wolf pit. A certain Palin would shoot it from a plane if she saw it running out in the wild.

Playgirl plans to unload a few more pictures in the next few days, none of which will contain full peen. Boo.

via Towleroad

If Amy Wino doesn't visit THE CLINIC (dun dun dun) at least a few times a month, the staff starts to get a little worried that they might lose their jobs. Lucky for them, Wino dropped in last night after she had a bad reaction from mixing medications.

The Mirror reports that Wino got the ills after she mixed over-the-counter cough medication with some shit she was already taking. A source said, "Amy took over-the-counter stuff for a cold but it didn't agree with medication she takes for her on-going recovery. A doctor came to the house and advised her to go the hospital to make sure she was all right. She was due to stay the night."

You would think that Wino's body is already used to every kind of drug in all combinations, so something in the milk ain't clean about this. It's not like she swallowed a vitamin or licked a clean piece of lettuce. My guess is that Wino is really in the hospital to get a fix of her latest addiction: plastic surgery. Don't widen your eyes if you see Wino strolling out of there with a new ass like a Care Bear or a nose like a Jackson.

Here's Wino trolling around London on Saturday night, just a few hours before she checked into the hospital.

St. Angie and Billy Goat Brad are joo-ree designers now. The two are putting out a collection of snake joo-ree through Asprey called "The Protector." WWD reports that they have been working on this shit for a year and it will be available at Asprey stores this week. Prices start at $525 and all proceeds will go to Education Partnership for Children of Conflict.

The snake design is based on St. Angie's slithery clitoris which has been known to strike at the ballsacks of mere mortal men. That is the official description from Asprey.

The collection features black diamond rings, diamond bracelets, an egg cup, a baby spoon and a tooth box. If you prefer cocaine instead of babies, the spoon, cup and box will also be of use to you. And don't worry, the diamonds are conflict-free, because they were made using the tears of angels and God's saliva.

Oh, and Lucius Malfoy has a question. He wants to know if they plan on making a cock-ring version in the near future?

It's nice to see that Andre Agassi's old wig is still getting work these days. It really brings out the "dopey" in Derek Jeter's eyes, right? Anyway, here's Jeter on Coney Island today shooting a cameo as a homeless dude in Marky Marky and Will Ferrell's new movie The Other Guys.

Derek Jeter as a homeless man is really fucking ironically hilarious (embrace the sarcasm), because in real-life he could buy hundreds of homeless people to take turns plucking his ass hairs out one by one. Actually, that's really depressing. Let's just go back to pointing and farting on that mop of cat tails on his head.

And duh, I'd even hit that shit from the front while wearing that gutter ass wig.

Over the weekend, Joe Perry seemed to think that Steven Tyler was going to tuck his bones into a soft bed and retire from Aerosmith forever. But you can't keep a zombie down, because Steven announced last night that he will continue to shimmy and shake with Aerosmith.

Steven made a surprise appearance during Joe Perry's show at the Fillmore in NYC where he declared that he was the rainbow, motherfucker! According to Rolling Stone, Steven jumped out of Glamberace's asshole and shouted, “I just want New York to know, I am not leaving Aerosmith. Joe Perry, you are a man of many colors. But I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!”

We all should all be soul jizzing over this news. Not because we care that Steven Tyler is in Aerosmith or not. But because if he left, he probably wouldn't have proclaimed that he is indeed the rainbow, motherfucker. Seriously, from now on we need to address him as: "Motherfucker, The Rainbow!"

And at next year's gay pride parades, I better see thousands of Steven Tylers waving in the damn air instead of rainbow flags.

Look at your window right now. If the streets are littered with heads covered with Urban Decay make-up and Manic Panic, it's because Twitards are exploding over this picture of RPattz and Kristen Stewart touching hands in Paris. The stock for cookie dough will touch the heavens tomorrow, because the Twitards that didn't lose their heads will drown their sorrows in all of Aniston's favorites.

Anyway, here's the those two fancy homeless people at the airport and also leaving their hotel in Paris tonight. Obviously, them touching jack-off hands means that they are secretly married and she's pregnant with their sparkly vampire spawn who is slowly eating her insides. I swear I didn't read the books. Don't you dare accuse me of that!

But seriously, we all know this is just a publicity stunt. RPattz obviously feels the heat in his loins for the Twihard in the sixth thumbnail below.

A few anti-drug campaigners are shaking their fists at 22-year-old Joss Stone after she told Star Magazine that weed is not a drug and that EVERYONE smokes it. If you have a baby at home, you better check on them, because they are probably smoking your stash in the bathroom. Tell them to get their own! Actually, does "everyone" include animals too, because my dog has been laughing at my dumb jokes lately. Anyway, here's what Joss had to say. She probably swallowed a bong right before she spoke:

"I smoke weed, but I don’t think it’s really a drug. It’s more of a herb. I don’t regret saying that at all. I think everyone smokes weed and people who say they don’t are lying! Weed has been given this evil stamp, but how is it dangerous? It’s going to make you laugh your arse off? You might go to sleep? I think alcohol is much more harmful. People beat the fuck out of each other on alcohol.

But I don’t smoke weed all day long. I live in Devon and hardly ever go to clubs. When I do, I’ll drink three or four beers then move on to a vodka. I don’t want to take all those horrible drugs. Although some sound fun, so I might dabble now and then!"

Come to think of it, Joss Stoner is right. Whenever I get a drop of booze on my tongue, I get the intense urge to kick a bitch in the butt bone or slap a trick in their teefs. I thought it was because I was a terrible person, but now I know it's due to the sweet nectar hitting my veins.

And the good shit never does that to me. Although, I think it caused me to put a tub of ice cream in the oven. It also might be the reason why I fell asleep with a peen on my forehead once.

Source: Daily Mail

Comedian Katt Williams was arrested last night for allegedly breaking into a home in Georgia and snatching a bunch of stuff. Katt's lawyer Williams Briggs tells TMZ that he has been set up! According to his Willy B, while Katt is shooting a movie in Georgia he's staying at the producer's home. The same home he was accused of robbing.

Willy B claims that Katt got into an argument with one of the producer's employees who lives in the guest house. Katt really must have made that bitch's balls boil, because the employee called the cops and reported a fake burglary. Willy B said that Katt has been staying at the house for nearly 3 weeks and was given full permission to be there.

And now you've just learned the fastest to get a bitch out of your house. The next time one of your fuck buddies overstays his welcome and starts yammering about brunch plans while cuddling (SHUDDER) with you, call 911. Tell them a strange man is robbing your ass. Yes, you will eventually be jailed for crying wolf, but at least you won't have to cuddle with a ho.

BONUS! TMZ also has a 911 recording of some 17-year-old boy claiming that Katt was holding him against his will. The call was made last Tuesday. The boy said that he was about to take a car to the airport when Katt showed up and wouldn't let him leave. Katt also threatened to beat him up. The cops arrived at the scene, but didn't make any arrests.

Prison baby Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl is the latest actress trying to conquer the music charts. Don't you know that record executives won't even think about giving you a deal unless you've got at least 5 IMDB credits to your name?

Here's Leighton's shiny new video for "Somebody to Love" (Jefferson Airplane just crashed) featuring Alan Thicke's baby boy Robin. The video is pretty basic. It features Leighton doing ho stuff in a rent-a-limo, ho stuff on a restaurant banquette (pretend it's Black Angus), ho stuff in an elevator and ho stuff on sheer curtains. This is kind of how you spend your Saturday night. Well, instead of doing ho stuff in a limo, you do ho stuff in a pedicab. And instead of doing ho stuff on a restaurant banquette, you do ho stuff while waiting in line at White Castle. You get the picture.

I know this song may cause your ear holes to reach for the meth, but any song that will become a favorite at strip clubs everywhere is fine by me. This song is definitely going double condom wrapper.

One of Sammy Sosa's friends has come out to defend him after a picture of him looking like he's on step 3 of "Michael Jackson's Guide to Beauty" started making people talking. Rebecca Polihronis, a former Cubs employee who talks to Sosa all the time, told the Chicago Sun-Times that he's in the process of going through a laser treatment to his skin after spending years playing in the sun.

Rebecca said, "He's not trying to be Michael Jackson. He is going through a rejuvenation process for his skin. Women have it all of the time. He was surprised he came out looking so white. I thought it was a body double. Part of (the photo appearance) is just the lighting. He is in the middle of doing a cleansing process to his skin. The picture is deceiving. He said, 'If you saw me in person, you would be surprised. When you see me in person, it is not going to seem like the picture.' People who saw him in person did not react the same way. He can't believe it is such a big deal. He has always been concerned with the way he looks. Probably just bad timing going to an awards show."

REJUVENATION PROCESS?! Unless Sosa was born a baked potato, this "rejuvenation process" is not working. Get a refund. Seriously, I just want to throw a stick of butter and a tub of sour cream on him (hold the chives).

And what does Sammy have to say about those swap meet-bought lemur contacts in his eyes? Let me guess? Eyeball rejuvenation? Bitch should get brain rejuvenation while he's at it.

I shouldn't say that. If Sammy is okay with little children running for the nearest church after seeing him, then good for him.