Duggars

The Duggar family added another BABY!!! to their unstoppable child army last night. The oldest Duggar child, Joshua, and his wife, Ann, are now the parents of a brand new baby friend they named Mackynzie Renée Duggar. Mackynzie (pronounced: SAVE ME) is the first Duggar grandchild. Mackynzie's grandparents, Michelle and Jim Bob, are going to have their 19th baby this spring.

It's not really news that another Duggar popped out a baby. Humans comes shooting out of a Duggar cooch on a daily basis. This time next month, I'm sure the Duggars will announce that Mackynzie is knocked up with triplets. There's something in the Kool-Aid over there and they all keep drinking it!

When you get a cramp in your uterus, it's because one of the Duggars got knocked up again. Your uterus is weeping.

Anyway, the real news it that Joshua and Anna might going after the letter "M." As you might know, Michelle and Jim Bob always give their children "J" names. This means that Joshua and Anna could do the same thing with the letter "M." NOOOOO!

All of us with "M" names should file a class-action lawsuit against the Duggars. We must protect the letter from them. If that doesn't work, I guess I can officially change my name to my junior high school nickname: Dyke-el. Thanks to the Duggars, the bullies have won.

Source: MSNBC

Everybody, please gather around, hold hands and bow your heads for Michelle Duggar's lady parts, because they are going to go through some fucked up traumatic shit for like the zillionth time! Jim Bob, Michelle and their massive neverending child army were on Today this morning where they announced that they are expecting baby #19!!!!! Yes, the baby addict is getting her fix again! BABEHS just keep popping out of that clown car vag!

The 42-year-old babyhead told Meredith Vieira, "We are so thrilled. We just couldn't believe it is happening." Jim Bob added, "This never gets old. We are so grateful for each child. We are looking forward to our first grand baby and our 19th child."

Never gets old?! Tell that to Michelle's uterus! That poor thing has been holding up a white flag since baby #10 and nobody is listening. When baby #19 is about to come somersaulting out, Michelle's uterus is going to grab on to its feet while screaming "TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!" All it wants to do is to get out of that crazy bitch's body, head to the nearest crack house and drown its pain in the bad shit. Do you blame it? Even Ken Seeley from Intervention is shaking his head and saying, "Do you what you gotta do, Duggar Uterus."

Michelle added that she knows at her age there are certain risks (i.e. her pussy could fall off and throw itself into incoming traffic). Michelle says as far as she knows, her fetus is doing well. Michelle and the entire family would know! If they want to check on her fetus, they just have to pack a few granola bars, crawl into her vag, skip down her pussy tunnel toward her womb and wave to the fetus. Seriously, when Michelle is done being a human popcorn machine, she can open up a theme park in there. WOMBLAND!

Michelle and Jim Bob's oldest child, Joshua, is also expecting a baby friend this October with his wife. Michelle 3-months pregnant and is due in the spring.

In case you didn't know, all of the Duggars 18 children have names starting with the letter J. Michelle said that the family has already printed up a list of J names for boys and girls that they haven't used yet. How about "JUSTSTOPTHISFUCKERYALREADY Duggar"?

And here's a list of all of the Duggar children. While reading it, you might want to pet your vag and reassure it that you will never ever do this to it:

1. Joshua James, 21
2. Jane Marie, 19
3. John-David, 19
4. Jill Michelle, 18
5. Jessa Lauren, 16
6. Jinger Nicole, 15
7. Joseph Garrett, 14
8. Josiah Matthew, 13
9. Joy-Anna, 11
10. Jedidiah Robert, 10
11. Jeremiah Robert, 10
12. Jason Michael, 9
13. James Andrew, 8
14. Justin Samuel, 6
15. Jackson Levi, 5
16. Johanna Faith, 3
17. Jennifer Danielle, 2
18. Jordyn-Grace, 8 months

VIA Popeater

As expected, the Duggars made a special announcement on Today this morning. No, they didn't announce that Michelle's uterus finally quit that bitch and they are offering a reward for its safe return. Unfortunately, that was not the announcement. As most of us guessed, Josh Duggar, the oldest ho, is having a BABY!!! with the newest Duggar baby machine Anna. Anna said she's about 3-months knocked up. And it starts......

Josh, 21, and Anna, 20, both said that they are hoping for a large family. When Meredith asked their asses if they were planning to follow the Duggar tradition of beginning their children's names with a specific letter, Josh said they weren't sure, but they have talked about using the letter M. THE FUCK?! I think it's only appropriate that they name their first born MAH GOD STOP THIS INSTANITY DUGGAR.

You know, I hope Michelle's lady parts had a quiet conversation with Anna's lady parts about its future as a broke down clown car. Anna's vagina has no idea that in about 10 years, after queefing out a baby army, it's going to need to be held together with duct tape and propped up with steel planks.

This news confirms that in about ten years, the world will be covered in Duggars. Everywhere we go, there will be a creepy smile and baby hongray eyes looking back at us. The cult known as Duggar is not slowing down.

I'm serious about the creepy smile part. While watching them this morning, my eyelashes nearly fell off out of fear. Imagine waking up to that every morning. My Sanka would need an extra shot of heroin just to deal.

Since OctoMommy is currently the country's premiere baby pimp, the Duggars had to do something quick to steal the spotlight back! Whatever it is they did, they will announce it this Monday on Today. What in traumatized uterus hell could it be?!

Most likely the oldest Duggar, Joshua, will announce that his new wife is knocked up with their 1st of ten trillion kids. They were only married last September, but they couldn't even kiss before they became legal! Seriously, Duggar rules state they couldn't kiss, finger bang or even do anal! Some fucked up shit. So I'm guessing that they started doing fucky times on their wedding night and haven't really stopped since. Josh's wife's vagina is already crying, because it knows its future is going to be filled with giant baby heads.

I also wouldn't be shocked if Michelle was pregnant with her 19th kid. Bitch barely had a baby girl, Jordyn-Grace, in December, but that woman is a freak of nature. Shit, she was probably already knocked up before she gave birth to Jordyn. While Jordyn was sliding out, the fetus waved and said "See you later, girl." Michelle is like a machine. I want to see her ass and OctoMommy in a baby-off!

Hopefully, the real news is that Michelle has decided to quit this baby stuff and move to Detroit, the hair capital of the world, to become a famous hair show model. Homegirl's hair has the wings for it.

VIA The Frisky

On the Duggar's reality show 17 Kids and Counting, we learn that they are extremely conservative and religious people. All the girls wear full-length skirts and keep their hair long. They all want to be wives who are skilled at cooking and cleaning. When the oldest Duggar son was engaged, he had a no-touching rule with his fiancee. They did not touch! The Duggars try to live the purest of pure lives and that's why it's kind of surpising that they have agreed to do a reality TV show. And now Michelle Duggar has agreed to show her vagina on TV. Sort of.

Michelle and Jim Bob's 18th child will do cartwheels out of her vagina sometime in January. And when the next J.Duggar comes out, TLC's cameras will be there to document the whole thing.

They might as well turn it into a star-studded special event! Oprah can open the show by performing a haiku about "vayjayjay" at the base of Michelle's coochie. After a series of performances by the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, Florence Henderson and the cast of The Brady Bunch will emerge from her vagina carrying the 18th Duggar. Fireworks will shoot out of her snatch and everyone will rejoice!

If they want to make even more money, they can set up stadium seating in her 'gina and sell tickets!

Source: People