Blind Items

So what do you do if you are a brand new C list celebutard who in your mind thinks you are A list? Why you go up to women and start hitting on them and generally making an ass of yourself. This is especially evident when you walk up to a C+/B- list television actress from a hit for this network drama who is already known for not being friendly and who responds to the horrible pick up lines by saying, "Who in the f**k are you? Are you 12?" When the celebutard answered her our actress just laughed and turned away and told our celebutard to find someone else. Our celebutard then walked away with his bodyguard in tow. Yes, he really has a bodyguard and it really is funny. (CDAN)

Homegirl was probably waiting for Tank Jones to pull his moves on her, because who can resist that giant ball of hot sex? Anyway, my guess is Levi Johnston and Olivia Wilde?

This female singer has a very unique hair style. She said she came up with the idea on her own. I'm sure she did after the fact. It was necessitated though by the fact she got into a fight with her idiot A list singer/producer boyfriend who took a pair of scissors and cut huge chunks of hair off our female singer's head. (CDAN)

Rhymes with Assy and Pity?

This married/aging actress has put up with a lot throughout her celebrity marriage. She’s practically raised the kids on her own, dealt with scandals and cheating and still managed to put on a happy face on the red carpet. Within this next year, she plans to finally leave her husband and make the divorce public. The current final straw? Not other women or drugs, but an addiction to World of Warcraft. We kid you not. Not Catherine Zeta Jones. (BuzzFoto)

My first thought was SJP and Matthew Broderick, because I can see him getting the butt tingles for the shirtless elves.

Spectacular is the one word to describe today's blind. This A list female celebrity chef was overheard in a restaurant the other day. Nothing unusual about that right? I mean people are nosy and we strain our ears. Well, it turns out this celebrity chef who is married was discussing an affair she recently had with this B list male singer with A list name recognition and reputation. She wasn't shy about discussing the details either. I mean explicit, graphic details about what the two did to each other. Nothing out of the ordinary, but definitely not shy in recounting every last act. It does appear to have been a one time thing, but this is totally not what you expect from our chef and the image she tries to portray to the public. (CDAN)

I would like to think that Paula Deen and Willie Nelson get freaky in a tub full of butter sticks, but I'm going to go with Rachel (I refuse to give her the extra a) Ray and John Mayer? And I really don't want to know all the things they do with EVOO. More like EVOHNO.

This celebrity had a little malfunction last week. No, it wasn’t a wardrobe malfunction (although she does have great style). It was a technical malfunction. Our celebrity, a television actress, is dating a non-famous guy. While she was out socializing late one night last week, she sent him a very private text message… along with a revealing photo of a private part of her anatomy. Unfortunately, instead of sending it to her boyfriend, she sent it to his mother (whose name was right below his in her directory). Whoops. The morals of this story – which we would love to see as a PSA – are: Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink and text. Don’t drink and photograph your hooha. (Blind Gossip)

This could be anyone, because who doesn't send pictures of their vag to their boyfriend's mom? It's the new Christmas card. My guesses are: Michelle Trachtenberg, Zoila from Flipping Out, Ashley Jizzdale, Teri Snatcher or any of the chicks on 90210?

This television star has gained a lot of weight over the past couple of years. Because this has been an ongoing issue, s/he has started seeing a therapist to get to the root of the problem. It turns out that the star’s hypocrisy in living one life in public – and a different one in private – creates anxiety and depression which, in turn, trigger binge eating.

According to the therapist, the issue will not be resolved until our star comes out of the closet. The star is actually considering it, but is worried about the timing of the announcement, and its potential career and financial impact. Will their career wither? Will their finances suffer? While we don’t know for sure, we do know that a competitor who has done so is thriving in a similar career. (Blind Gossip)

Oprah & Ellen? A bolt of lighting didn't bust through my head after I wrote that, so that's my official guess.

This B- list television (hit network drama)and movie (meh) actress is known for being adventurous sexually but her latest twist is something that goes into a whole new realm. Over the past few years she has been seeing one particular C list cable actor and in the past few months he has been seeing not only the actress but also her mom. The actress knows about it, encourages it and makes it a condition of their continued romance. (CDAN)

Sharing dick is not a good mother/daughter activity to bond over! With that being said, my guess is Hayden Panatroll & the kind of blind items Jeremy Piven?

What “star chef” has been hoodwinking her dinner guests by ordering in dishes she claims she made herself? (NYDN via Blind Gossip)

I'm going to say drunk ass Sandra Lee? But only so that I can have an excuse to post this clip of her on the Wendy Williams Show a while ago. We should've known that Sandra travels with Slim Jims tucked into her belt at all times. Brit Brit just fell in love.

She’s got a show, a hot movie, and a fabulous life, but she won’t shave her legs. (Down2Front via Blind Gossip)

Mo'Nique. EXHIBIT: EVERYTHING.

These two celebrity couples aren’t super close friends in public, but it’s clear that they know each other. Everyone knows that the male half of Couple A used to work with the female half of Couple B over a period of time. Yes, we know, there were rumors flying around at the time that those two were involved in an off-screen fling. Although it was good publicity for the project, it’s not true. But there was something more insidious going on behind the scenes. Something that didn’t make the tabloids.

It turns out the female half of Couple A and the male half of Couple B were both so distraught over the rumors that their mates were cheating on them that they wound up spending a lot of time comforting each other. The comforting became so frequent and so physical that it resulted in a pregnancy. Now Couple A raising a child that is only half theirs. Fortunately for them, the child looks more like the Couple A mother than the Couple B father, but those in the know can definitely see the Couple B father in the facial features. One additional hint: all of the people involved have been actors at some point. (Blind Gossip)

You're going to need to whip out your monocle for this one. My first thought was Regis Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford? After I punched myself in the head as punishment, I came up with these two guesses: Jerry O'Connell and Jill Hennessy? Or David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson? This one is a master class blind item. It's hard.

He is the lead actor of a current television series. He comes across as such a nice normal guy that it is hard to believe he is really odd behind closed doors. He likes it rough. No, not like “spank my butt” rough. More like “use your stiletto heel to step on my privates” rough. He can’t get his wife to engage in these activities, but there are several women on the side with four-inch heels at the ready. (Blind Gossip)

I really hope he prefers lucite heels or I just can't with him. My guesses are: Jon Hamm (we all wish, or do we?), Matthew Fox, Michael C. Hall or Tony Shalhoub?

This actress/member of band/reality star recently had an operation to restore a good portion of one of her ears. She and her boyfriend got into an argument. He got her in a headlock and pulled all of her earrings out without removing the backs. With makeup and her long hair she can hide it from a distance but up close it is a mess and parts of her ear are a different color than others. (CDAN)

THE FUCK?! You guess while I go sing my ears a comforting lullaby.

This actor has been fighting off rumors about his sexuality for years. That’s why it is curious that he isn’t publicly announcing that he is engaged to be married to a very pretty girl. You would think that he would want to shout it from the hill tops, and soak up all the hetero kudos it would bring him. Instead, he’s keeping it very quiet. We can only think of three reasons for this. First, that he is not as committed as the engagement implies. Second, that he doesn’t want to scare off potential gay partners. Third, that he doesn’t want any attention. Wait, scratch that last one. He loves the limelight. We smell disaster all over this one. (Blind Gossip)

My first thought was George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis. But if this was case, we would know because Sarah Larson would have gotten wind of this and ran through the streets pulling her hair out.

This engaged star goofed up last month. Although he is set to be married sometime in the future, and seems like a devoted boyfriend, we hear he had a little ’slip’ in a nightclub bathroom. Our source said the cheating happened in the men’s room, but will not comment if the other person involved was male or female. Not John Krasinski. (BuzzFoto)

Javier Bardem? Chris Noth? Or that Bachelor dude?

Which former TV host shocked patrons at LA’s Voyeur night club on October 29 when he debuted his new face? Sources say he recently got a hush-hush eyelift that made him unrecognizable. (Star Magazine via Blind Gossip)

I'm to go with Charles Perez, just because I really wanted to bring up his name again.

He’s a movie star, he is married, and he is gay. Out of respect for his wife, though, he only allows a boy in his bed when either one of the couple is traveling. Thoughtful, right? Well, it’s rather creepy, because the last couple of guys he has been with bear a strange resemblance to his wife. So is he picking the boys because they resemble his wife, or did he pick his wife because she resembles the kind of boy he likes? Hard to say, but in either case, he has no intention of coming out of the closet any time soon. Oh, and yes, they are practically boys. He likes them young, but is pretty careful about them being of legal age. (Blind Gossip)

Since both Jada Pinkett and Stepford Katie can kind of pass for twink gay porn stars in the right light, my guess is Tommy Girl or Will Smith?

This married A list television reality producer has always had a revolving door policy when it comes to the women with whom he has sex. However it seems that he has finally found just one woman he wants to have as his mistress and has cast the others aside. He wants to remain faithful to this mistress who also happens to be a B list reality star who seems to never have a boyfriend that sticks. Now you know why. (CDAN)

Mark Burnett and Ceiling Eyes? This is my guess, because he's producing her next reality shit show.

This famous celebrity husband (mostly known for comedy) with a non-famous wife has convinced his spouse that every couple in Hollywood has threesomes. His wife was incredibly reluctant and refused for years, but he’s threatened divorced and told her that bringing in another partner into their marriage just comes with the territory when you marry someone famous. Our source says the wife seems really insecure about the marriage and worried that she is going to lose the star, has finally decided to hire a prostitute for his upcoming birthday. Not Steve Carell. (BuzzFoto)

I think every celebrity couple is already past threesomes. That's vanilla to them. They're already on gang bang orgies with farm animals. Anyway, my guess is the obvious: Charlie Sheen? Or maybe Adam Sandler?

Dr. Arnie Klein – Michael Jackson’s dermatologist – just did an interview with Harvey Levin of TMZ. One of the topics they discussed was Michael Jackson’s peculiar habit of whipping out his privates in front of other people (including children) to pee in a cup so that he wouldn’t have to walk down the hallway to the bathroom. Dr. Klein said he didn’t think that the habit was all that unusual. Then he told a short story of a female country singer he knew. He said that she told him that when she lived in the country, she would purposely pee in the bed every night just to stay warm. Who might he be talking about? (Blind Gossip)

Everybody knows that when you do pee pee times in the bed, it immediately goes cold and turns into a slushie on your privates. Not exactly warm. So I've heard. Dolly Parton might be the obvious guess here, but I'll go with Loretta Lynn just so I can picture her singing "PISS CITY" instead of "Fist City."

This former B list television actress and now C list movie actress has been single for awhile. Maybe not for long though. At a recent event, our actress was supposed to walk the runway at a fashion show. When her time to walk approached, no one could find her. People were running around looking for her. They finally found her, umm, in her dressing room in the midst of full on sex. When told she needed to be on stage that second, she jumped up, pulled down her dress and walked the runway. (CDAN)

I've got zilch. But for the shit of it I'll guess Maggie Grace or Heather Graham?

Remember when we told you about the wealthy singer who brings in a body-double for a wife, you know, to rub his feet and take care of him for her? Well, we heard that she also brings in a ’sex instructor’ who coaches the husband on how to pleasure her correctly. The husband watches as the instructor demonstrates on the singer what’s right and what’s wrong. Not Christina Aguilera. (BuzzFoto)

See, this is how you get new dick without pissing off your full-time fuck partner. I'll guess Celine Dion (ha), JLo or Barbara Streisand?

(Image via Go Girl)

Which comedian has a penchant for rent boys? The comic regularly orders £1,000-a-night lads – but is always polite enough to offer them a cup of tea after. Your extra clue: Not many funny men could afford this. (3am)

PLEASE BE DAVID WALLIAMS! PLEASE! If this is him, then I'm packing up my lube collection and moving to the UK to become a tea seller. You didn't think I was going to say rent boy, did you? I am a little realistic. My other guesses are: Russell Brand? Ricky Gervais? Or Noel Fielding?

This B+/A- list closeted television actress from a hit network drama was having drama of her own in the bathroom as her girlfriend was complaining that she felt left out and wanted to meet our actresses friends. Our actress kept her head on a swivel while trying to keep the conversation as quiet as possible. The girlfriend is very, very young and a gorgeous blonde. (CDAN)

Kate The Great Walsh?

This C+/B- list television actress formerly on one of the most interesting shows of all time which is still on the air went around the event asking almost everyone if they had just a little bump of coke she could have to get through the night. Our actress is in the midst of a career transition. (CDAN)

My guess is that the show is Lost, but I've got nothing after that. Michelle Rodriguez is more of a movie actress, but she did recently say that she's going to start writing stuff. Oh hell, I bet it's the polar bear. Definitely the polar bear.

This B/C list Celebrity will announce her upcoming pregnancy soon, but don’t be fooled; it’s a stunt. Sure, it’s legit. There’s a real life baby in her belly, but what her boyfriend doesn’t know is that she skipped her pills on purpose because she feared an impending breakup. We know there are rumors of his wandering eye, and maybe she thought a child would refocus his vision. Not Ashlee Simpson. (BuzzFoto)

If it's LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian, we're gonna need a Lifetime mini-series based on this shit.

This movie actress has been very vocal to inner circle about her clock ticking. She wants to be a bride and have a baby with her current famous beau, ASAP – not necessarily in that order. One warning to the guy: Don’t be a fool. She doesn’t really love you. This is all a game to her. She is actually telling friends and family that she thinks you’re an idiot – but a moldable, rich, famous, good-looking idiot who brings her more attention than she can get as a solo act. She will date you at the peak of your fame, and will lose you as soon as your star fades. Then again, we don’t know why we are warning him about her, when he is almost as bad as her. (Blind Gossip)

Kate Hudson and A-Roidy sounds about right? But I'll throw in Squinty & B.Coop for laughs.

Two marriages. Two cheats. Two men kicked to the curb. Actually from what I heard the first one may have been literally kicked to the curb. The first marriage involves a celebutard and his B list actress wife on a hit television show. He cheats almost constantly and doesn't care who knows it. He knows that his wife doesn't want to be seen as a failure so he takes advantage of that and keeps on cheating. The second marriage is even easier to guess than the first. Actor and a singer. What you might not know though is that the actor has been to scared to even cross paths with his wife except in the most public of places for fear that she will go off on him physically and verbally. To say that she is going through this event quietly would be very wrong. In fact, just this morning everyone in LaGuardia airport could hear her yelling at him on the phone. (CDAN)

For the first couple: Ellen Pompeo & Chris Ivery? For the second couple: Fuggie & Josh Duhamel?

When the idea for this show was invented, there were a lot of people who believed in it. They were worried about getting the concept out there, and even more worried that the networks wouldn’t think it worth their time to produce it. To get this new show off the ground, the creators did a little ‘creative accounting’ to fund the project. They cooked the books a little in order to get the network to pick up on it. Now that this show is a hit, the Production company is scrambling to pay off debts and get things back in order before someone finds out. Not an NBC show. (BuzzFoto)

Glee? And if it's Glee, Mr. Schu and Sue Sylvester should just "leak" a porn. The sales of that would pay off all their bills.