Open Post
Open Post: Hosted By Mister Rogers' Statue
There should be a Mister Rogers statute in every town since a lot of us spent quality time with him as children (and as grown-up stoners). The city of Pittsburgh recently unveiled their homage to Mister Rogers called "Tribute to Children." This looks more like a tribute to cat litter. Mister Rogers is way too good for this shit. Shit being the key word here. This reminds me of "Shit Chet" in Weird Science and that is the extreme opposite of a compliment. Why did they have to do (doo) Mister Rogers like that?! Daniel Tigercat probably hit the floor when he saw this thing and he's not going to get up. Let us all weep.
On a positive note, at least they don't have to spend money cleaning up pigeon poo off this statute, because it will blend right in.
Open Post: Hosted By The Baddest Bitch On The Soccer Field
Elizabeth Lambert of New Mexico's women's soccer team is definitely the kind of chick you want on your team. Watch as she almost decapitates a ho and trips another girl without taking her eyes off the game. Elizabeth has got that bitch tick. Cuntourettes is what doctors call it. Whoopin' tricks and yanking tails just comes natural to her.
And BOO BITCH on the lady saying that this kind of behavior is "over the line." This is right on the line. This is the way soccer was meant to be played.
Open Post: Hosted By An Effigy Of Katie Price
It's the attack of the 27ft tranny! This is a giant effigy of Katie Price which will be torched in front of 10,000 people on Saturday. For the past ten years the Edenbridge Bonfire Society has chosen one famewhore to burn at their annual bonfire celebration in Kent. It's like Burning Man, but way sluttier. The free clinic will be standing by to treat anyone who suffers from whore inhalation.
Truthfully, this really doesn't look like Katie Price. I mean, one of her tittays is bigger than that entire thing. They don't do her massive chichis justice at all. This looks more like Alex Redi's tranny alter ego Roxanne. The Edenbridge Bonfire Society should make mini-versions of this which could be used to scare off just about anything.
Open Post: Hosted By A Forklift Crash
Since today's running theme seems to be BOOZE (as usual), here's a clip out of Moscow that has been making the rounds. A forklift drivers lost his footing and accidentially crashed into a pile of boxes causing a gigantic avalanche. What makes this extremely tragic is that the boxes were filled with sweet, beautiful VODKA! It really looks like we're witnessing the world ending. If vodka went extinct, the human race would go exctinct. Think about it. Vodka + Humans = Unprotected Sexy Times = BABIES!!!.
Thankfully, the driver escaped with only minor injuries to his leg. But the owners of the warehouse lost nearly $150,000 in vodka. Let us weep.
However, they didn't have to pay too much for clean-up since they simply invited Amy Wino over for afternoon cocktails.
VIA HuffPo
Open Post: Hosted By James Gandolfini
And here's my favorite celebrity Halloween costume of the year. It's James Gandolfini trying desperately to give a fuck while out trick or treating with his son in NYC. James obviously tried hard since I'm sure it wasn't easy pulling that beat down Homer Simpson mask out from under a Hoarders' "safe pile." Although, James could have left the mask at home since he already has organic grouchface.
P.S. - I think the dog in the first thumbnail below agrees with me. Doggy is obviously screaming over joy at James' costume. Or maybe doggy is just overwhelmed by James' epic "gut over bagina."
Open Hallowpeen Post: Hosted By The Grand Wizard
It really isn't Halloween until last year's HSOH (Hot Slut of Hallowpeen) Tim Curry opens up his precious mouth and serenades us while waving his sexy pink cape around. And The Grand Wizard is always right: anything can happen on Halloween. This is why you have to wax and bleach your important bits, stock up on morning-after-pills, give your toilet a pep talk and write your address on your forehead with a Sharpie just in case!
Happy Halloween to all! If you get arrested, make sure to give us a TSG-worthy mug shot.
(For Lookee)
Open Post: Hosted By A Dancing Pumpkin Head
So now you finally know what my second job is. I'm a Fly Pumpkhead on The CW News in Omaha, Nebraska. I WISH. If I had moves like that I wouldn't be wasting my talents on the local news. I'd be punching and thrusting on the Santa Monica Promenade or in the NYC subways. For real.
And now we all finally found a Halloween costume that will give us a good reason to vogue AND karate kick at once. ALL THE SINGLE PUMPKINHEADS!
VIA Videogum
Open Post: Hosted By Jakey & Elmo
Jakey G and fellow hairy monster Elmo recently spent a little time together while shooting an episode of Sesame Street. Elmo might be suffering from a temporary blackout here, because it looks like Jakey is choking the hell out of him. Unless Elmo is into that sort of thing. That kinky muppet!
And "choking the Elmo" has become the phrase of the minute, because it sounds like something Prince Hot Ginge does with himself under the sheets.
VIA Popwrap
Open Post: Hosted By Lance Bass And His Sexy Dinner Date
Lance Bass is quickly gaining my full respect as a fellow slut whore. It seems that every time I turn around Lance is off dipping his peen in a new ink jar. Here's Lance giving us one of those "Yeah, I'm Getting This" looks while dining at Miami's Pacific Time Restaurant last night with some hot piece. Apparently, the two were "canoodling" in between bites of their fish entrees. There's a "two gays walk into a seafood restaurant" joke in there somewhere.
And I wish Lance would take just one minute out from passing the penis around to do a little shopping. Because that t-shirt could double as Jon Gosselin's weekend cum rag.
Open Post: Hosted By Pepaw Clint
Oh, Clint, I'm having one of those days too. You know, one of those days where you've got the yawns in a bad way (see thumbnail #4), so you snort a line of crushed up Vivarin pills and acetone to stay awake (see thumbnail #2). Then you realize that doing that might be causing your brain to bust into a seizure (see last thumbnail). Finally, you throw the gods above a Dirty Harry-approved shank eye (see thumbnail #7) for giving you a brain to come up with fucked up ideas like snorting Vivarin and acetone.
Here's Clint having one of those days while shooting a movie in London today.


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