If this doesn't make you want to finally throw Walmart into one of their own caskets and bury them for good, then I don't know what will.
via Best Week Ever (for Kristi and M.E.)
The vomit has dried and the crabs bites have mostly healed on MTV due to the first season of Jersey Shore coming to an end, but those guidos are still fisting (no pumping here) for GTL dollars. And at Jet in Las Vegas last night, The Situation, the Don Knotts of guidos, and DJ Pauly D, the Jughead of guidos, hosted a party together. The GHB was flowin'!
As usual, The Situation kept flashing his situation of situations at any ho, skank or slut who asked to see his situation. I'm ashamed to admit that the first time The Situation brought his situation out, I had a minor situation in my down low situation. But enough about that situation.
Besides, Tracy Morgan did it first and he did it better:
Now that is a MAN DOWN CODE 10 SITUATION right there!
And now I promise to never write the "s word" ever again. (I'm lying).
Before you hit play, prepare to be bombarded with images of unicorn-riding leprechauns marching on the yellow brick road while fairy princesses throw glittery gum drops from cotton candy clouds above.
They tell me this is a song Prince wrote for his hometown team the Minnesota Vikings, but I'm pretty sure it's really a long-lost B-side from The Wizard of Oz soundtrack. And I'm also pretty sure that at Mariah Carey's next wedding, this song will be her bridal march.
Now we've finally found a worthy opponent to face off against Keyboard Cat in KEYBOARD WARS. It's Keyboard Dog....who is wearing a Snuggie. For serious.
This also happens to Tommy Girl every time David Beckham sends him a text.
via Breitbart (Thanks Sarah)
Last night in Milan, a willowy swan rose flew out of Bobby Trendy's flaming hole and sashayed down the runway for DSquared. You know, for years I wondered why the phrase "Work it, girl" even exists. Now I finally know the true reason why RuPaul's nipple gave birth to the phrase under a disco ball many years ago. It was born just so we could all shout it while salivating glitter over these pictures of Tokio Hotel's Bill Kaulitz stomping on hos on the catwalk.
If Glamberace and Johnny Weir made beautiful love in the bathroom of a Wienerschnitzel, their creme de la cum loads would mix together and create this opulent nymph you see before you. EXTRAVAGANZAAA!
This ginger boy has a message for South Park and all the ginge haters out there.
At first, I raised my Castaspella doll like a torch and cheered him on! But as he started to go on, I slowly dropped my Castaspella doll, put on my "Friends of Rojo Caliente" t-shirt, slipped on a bullet proof vest, grabbed a fire extinguisher and slowly crouched down so he wouldn't see me.
I mean, we know this already! Gingers have souls! Ginger have souls! But I don't know if I do anymore because I'm pretty sure this ginge ate it with his eyes. He might be the next Glenn Beck.
And is there such thing as "Get Kicked By A Ginger Day"? Because if there isn't, I'm pretty sure this ginger kid is going to create it.
James Gandolfini can make any inanimate object look like the Laurel to his Hardy. James did it with a Homer Simpson mask, and now he's done it again with a Vespa! Keep fucking that chicken, James!
Seriously, I never thought a Vespa is the funniest thing since Jan Crouch until I saw these pictures of Tony Soprano riding around on one in NYC yesterday. Do you think he keeps a human head in his Vespa's fanny pack. Or maybe a meatball sandwich? Or maybe a hammer to hit me in the knees with because I keep laughing at him with inanimate objects.
If you watched American Idol last night, then there's a good chance that you hummed "Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground" this morning while you firmly cinched your belt. Because when the General gives you an order, you take it!
Proving that pepaws always do it better, 62-year-old General Larry Platt earned a golden ticket to our hearts last night by giving us the gift of his song "Pants on the Ground." I immediately signed up for the General's army as soon as he brought James Brown into it by busting into the splits.
Unfortunately, because of Idol's stupid age limit rule, the General didn't make it to Hollywood. They should send his ass anyway to keep all those young hos in check.
Billy Goat Brad, get your notepad out! This is how one wears a beard. Well, unless Brad actually likes spending his time picking out pieces of clitty litter and baby snot.
Here's Jon Hamm taking his beard and dog out for a stroll in Los Angeles yesterday. Don't lie, you know you want to put that leash on and bark while lifting your leg up (Um. I might just be speaking for myself).