Blind Items

I guess this actress is C list. She probably used to be B. Was once on a very famous television show with an ensemble cast that has moved on to lots of better things. Our actress has always had a squeaky clean image because of that popular show. Right now she focuses on movies and gets leads in straight to DVD features. When she is all made up she looks fabulous. When you catch her in her trailer smoking meth though she looks like the strung out junkie she is who has no problems f**king anyone who gives her money for drugs. (CDAN)

Yeah, my first thought was Betty White too, but she is A-list now and forever.

This item will be short and sweet, just like this adorable TV actress. Although she’s petite, this girl apparently makes a big impression wherever she goes. There’s a famous NBA player - known for being a bad boy – who can’t stop talking about her since he met her. In his own words, “She’s exactly the right height to give me a b* j*.” (Blind Gossip)

This is why I wish I was short sometimes. Being tall is hard on the knees. Does Kim Kardassian count as a TV "actress"? Shit, does she count as "adorable"? My guesses are Hayden Panatroll, Kirstin Chenoweth (HA) and Selene Luna?

We know plenty of Celebs call the paps or give them a heads up to where they’re going to be. That happens all the time. Sometimes, they even pretend like they are annoyed by it. What is a little more unusual is when a celeb alerts the paparazzi that they are going to be somewhere, and instead of showing up, have their unsuspecting rival caught in an unflattering situation, say with no makeup or with caught in a scandalous affair. Can you guess the caller and the rival that has been snapped lately? It won’t be too hard if you keep up on your Celeb gossip. (BuzzFoto via Gawker)

Kim Kardassian and Wonky? Or Phoebe Price and Quween on the Scene?

Which hunky news anchor wore a special black helmet to go with his tight, black T-shirt for his reports from the front? The dark get-up made him really stand out among the troops in their camouflage fatigues. (Page Six)

There's really only two "hunky" news anchors and they are Rachel Maddow and Mah Boo. Rachel would never ruin her hair with a helmet, so my guess is pretty obvious.

You would think that an actress who has over 30 credits to her name would have put away some serious coin over the years. However, this one doesn’t appear to be managing her money well. She went shopping recently, racking up about a thousand dollars worth of purchases in a short amount of time. She presented her credit card. Denied. She presented a second credit card. Denied.

The actress accused the salesperson of not knowing how to process a credit card transaction. The salesperson held her tongue and simply smiled and asked the actress if she wanted to pay cash. The actress snapped that she wasn’t stupid enough to carry that type of cash around with her. She pulled out another credit card. Third time was a charm. What has she done with all her money? We hope it didn’t go up her nose. (Blind Gossip)

The obvious guess is LiLo, but wouldn't she just snatch up the goods and waddle out?

What upper list celebrity parents have only seen their child/children for a total of five days over the past two months. The parents feel like the child/children get in the way too much and our parents have way too much going on in their lives to be concerned with their child/children right now. (CDAN)

Jlo & Skeletor?

This engagement is fairly new, but I definitely smell trouble. This Golden Globe nominated/winner B list movie actress has been entertaining a fairly steady stream of men at her fiance's home. Her fiance is a B list television actor on a very hit show. He must know this is going on as our actress doesn't hide what she has been doing and with whom but our actor doesn't seem to care. (CDAN)

So, it seems like there's really only one guess: John Krasinski and Emily Blunt? And if he's fine with her passing that pussy, who cares? Share the love, share the peen, share the pussy, share it all!

Which actor refused to take pictures at the premiere of Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs because he thought he was too sweaty? Hyperhidrosis or hyperdiva? (Star Magazine VIA Blind Gossip)

Maybe he didn't want hos to know he was at the damn Cloudy with a Chance of Balls premiere? My guess is Andy Samberg or Will Forte?

Which dieting model shunned the London Fashion Week afterparty buffet table, instead opting for her own bespoke gourmet feast – crushed horse tranquiliser washed down with a litre of diet coke? She swears it quick fires her metabolism. Your extra clue: We wonder if her trendy on-off man knows his pretty girlfriend’s dark secret. (3am Girls)

Rhymes with Hate Floss?

This very good looking C+ actor on a huge hit cable show broke his foot about a week ago. He didn't want anyone to ask him how it happened so he removed the cast while he was at The Emmy Awards. The reason he broke his ankle? He was whacked out on meth and jumped off the roof of his house with a cape on thinking he could fly. (CDAN)

Hmmm...let's go with Hunter Parrish from Weeds just for shits?

This very good looking foreign born C+ list actor on a huge hit show didn't have anyone within two seats of him at a show he attended. Why? He smelled as if he had not showered in days and when he had showered had done it in week old booze. (CDAN)

This makes me pucker. Nothing is hotter than a dude who smells like a bar. My guess is Jason Stackhouse from True Blood?

A conversation was overheard between this C list singer/actor and this married A list singer at least by name recognition if not talent.C lister - I can't get laid here to save my life.
A lister - What you need to do is go to London next week for their show. I went a couple of years ago without the wife and this guy model gave me the best blowjob ever. (CDAN)

Oh, how I wish the A-lister was Chris Martin. I'll guess Gavin Rossdale or Skeletor (YACK!) for the A-lister. And as for the C-lister, I have no clue so I'll go with Dwight Yoakam!

This popular actor was not with his wife at the Emmy Awards last night. They had a big fight over wardrobe earlier in the evening. He though it would be really funny to wear something other than tuxedo, but she didn’t want to look like a fool sitting next to him. He relented and dressed properly for the event, but there was such tension between them that he wound up going alone. The fights are definitely coming more frequently for this couple. We can only imagine how many more there would be if she knew about his private lunches with one of his co-stars. (Blind Gossip)

David Boreanaz wasn't with his wife last night....whatever that means.

Friends are worried because they think THIS star signed up for “Dancing with the Stars” HOPING to be injured! Twinkle toes has long had a penchant for drugs of all kind, and especially painkillers. Rigorous rehearsals often cause amateur dancers to have injuries and back problems that can last for who-knows how long. This dancer may be eagerly anticipating the powerful pills and shots generally prescribed for recovery. Friends predict such an injury will lead directly to another stint in rehab. (Janet Charlton via Blind Gossip)

That is kind of a genius plan for pill poppers. Paula Abdul will be joining DWTS in 3...2..1... My guess is Ashley Hamilton?

Image VIA NY Shitty

This up and coming actress chills out in her trailer in between takes. She listens to some music, chats on her phone, and pops bag after bag of microwave popcorn. She doesn’t actually eat the popcorn. Rather, she uses it to cover up the scent of another relaxing activity that involves herbal inhalation. If you’d like to join her, it’s easy to discuss it in public, i.e. “Hey, do you have any microwave popcorn in your trailer?” Yes, sweetie, everyone on the set knows. (Blind Gossip)

K to the Stewart? If you ever ask her for microwave popcorn and she gives you actual microwave popcorn, you can shank me.

So, a reality star, a designer and an actress walk into a bar. No, not into a bar actually, but it sounds much better that way. They actually just walked backstage at a show. The female reality star who has a huge history of drug problems did some coke and passed it around. The designer who was just about to show their collection, did four lines back to back to back to back, and then passed it along to our C list television actress with B list name recognition on a VERY hit show. Our actress spilled a little on her dress and when trying to brush it off, rubbed it in so took off her dress and stood there naked while she did some lines on a make up table. She then put back on the dress and joined the reality star back out front. (CDAN)

Jill Zarin, Joan Rivers and Diane Von Furstenberg?! Okay, maybe not.

Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out. (Gatecrasher)

Justin Timberlake and RiRi? Or Vadge and Joe Jonas? Hey, anything is possible and Baby Jesus is getting a little old.

This cougar is bragging to everyone about her much younger beau. What everyone doesn’t know, is that the handsome younger man has been hired by this washed up old star to hang on her arm whenever she goes out. Our source thinks there’s a good chance he doesn’t even swing the way of our celeb. Not Demi Moore. (BuzzFoto via Blind Gossip)

My guess is Janice Dickinson who has been skipping around with a young firefighter-type? I would say Madonna, but I doubt she pays Baby Jesus. They were meant to be together. It's in the bible.

There’s a pharmacy in Los Angeles that is frequented by lots of actors who live in the area. Like many pharmacies, they have a tape line on the floor set about six feet away from the pharmacy counter so that the customer is ensured some privacy. The person behind the counter on this occasion, however, was apparently not well-trained on the concept of privacy.

“Do you need a consultation with the pharmacist for the Denavir?” they asked rather loudly. “No,” responded the actor, who signed something, grabbed the bag, and quickly walked away. Hopefully the piles of money he’s making on this successful drama will dull the pain of having the gift that keeps on giving. We also wonder if his co-workers have a clue. (Blind Gossip)

A better blind item would be who doesn't eat Denavir in Hollywood. I'll guess Jeremy Piven, because...well....he's Jeremy Piven.

Which celebrity mom is a secret smoker? She puffs away in private and then hides the smell by applying lots of Purell and perfume. Plus, she chews gum after lighting up to mask her breath. (Star Magazine via Blind Gossip)

If only this was Michelle Duggar, because we all know her uterus could use a cigarette or thirty. I'll go with the obvious guess, Kate Gosselin?

This ad was posted on Craigslist Vancouver: "*are you Asian and hot? want to f-ck a movie star?* - 26 (Vancouver) So here's the scoop I'm 26 caucasian and f-cking hot I'm here in town for filming staying at an upscale hotel. I'll let you know all the details later... I'm a B list actor but will be on the A list very shortly in good time. What am I looking for you ask? A gorgeous asian boy that I can f-ck the hell out of. F.Y.I. I'm not out and everyone thinks I'm straight but being gay is my secret to keep. This little rendezvous will happen in my hotel room and yes I'm registered under an alias. Please send me a cock pic, body pic and face pic. P.S. If I don't get back to you with this fake e-mail just means I'm not interested and your not what I'm looking for. I'm extremely particular. If your the one to meet me you will 100% not be disappointed and you most likely wont believe it's me.......I've seen so many cute asians in this city....................Get back to me if your one of them.... Oh ya I will not send you a pic of me. If you see this add I'm still looking... I will not respond to one sentence questions.... " (Lainey Gossip)

Bobby Trendy should've jumped on the rainbow and slid over to Vancouver. That sounds like his man!

Lainey throws Zac Efron name into the guessing ring, because he's currently shooting in Vancouver. Zac and Bobby would be the couple of the century! I'll also guess Jackson Rathbone (Twilight), Xavier Samuel (Twilight) or Bradley Cooper (The A-Team). None of them are exactly 26, but Clist age is different than real age.

Which so-called Hollywood heartthrob actor likes to do a poo on top of ladies during a bit of how’s your farver? (Holy Moly!)

I really can't with this one. I pass the poo on to you.

What momentarily A list singer was a couple of hours late to the stage at a fashion show party because she was having sex in her dressing room? (CDAN)

Lady CaCa? People need to be patient, because I'm sure it takes a while for her hermie peen to bust one.

We frequently see this heartthrob going to the gym, playing sports with his friends, and otherwise leading a healthy lifestyle. If he is so concerned about his health, why isn’t he taking more precautions when he engages in certain intimate activities? We’re talking about bareback here, folks, and there are no horses involved. Considering his track record, you would think that his current girlfriend would insist on him wearing a raincoat 24/7. (Blind Gossip)

Jakey G's precious mug immediately popped up in my head, but he doesn't seem like the manskank type. I'll throw his name in the guess jar anyway. I'll also add Gerard Butler, KFed (joooking), Mario Lopez or Matthew McConaughey?

So, over the weekend, this married A list male reality star would not stop hitting on this younger A list female reality star. He kept following her around like a puppy, and saying things like, "we should really work together." Yes, he said that. When they were first introduced she was very polite, but then he started getting close and doing the touching thing. The rest of the night was the puppy dog thing and trying to impress her. She wasn't. It didn't stop him from telling everyone at the party though how she was into him. (CDAN)

I thought A-list reality stars only existed in fairy tales. That said, I'll guess either Jon Grosselin or Spencer Twatt for the skeezy dude? And Kim Kardassian or Kristin Calawhatever for the chick?

Which A-lister couple’s relationship is on the rocks. Seems he is cheating with his much younger co-star and the wife is now trying to accompany the two on set as much as possible. She heard the rumors way before we did and is now hanging around to nip this thing in the bud. Not Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. (BuzzFoto via Blind Gossip)

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck? Ben is currently shooting a movie with Blake Lively.

Which has-been action hero has knocked up his comely assistant? When his longtime girlfriend learned of the impending birth, she angrily split? (Page Six)

The Muscles from Brussels himself Jean Claude Van-Damme?

Apparently this married, former B list movie actress from some very big movies and still a very strong C is going to come out in the next few weeks. Her new girlfriend is insisting on it. (CDAN)

This blind item has nothing to do with Rojo Caliente, but she proudly welcomes whoever this is into the Gayelle Club. So, I looked at the comments at CDAN and most of them seem to think this could be Robin Wright Penn and Rebbecca Hall? But I'm going to guess Salma Hayek, because she has two very strong Cs (as in chichis).

We’ve watched this acting couple raise a family over the years. What we didn’t know was that while he and his missus were in an earlier stage of their relationship, he had a brief fling that produced a child. The child’s name is similar to the father’s, but the last name is the mother’s, so it’s not obvious that they are related. The fling has been receiving money from the father for several years without any kind of legal agreement, and the amounts keep going up. Every time he balks at paying, the fling threatens to tell his wife. Play with fire and you’re going to get burned. (Blind Gossip)

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck? Or Matthew Broderick and SJP? Or Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany? Or Miss Piggy and Kermit?

This star is very conservative in their political views. They’ve even (allegedly) donated some of their own funds to help right-wing candidates. In order to ’spite’ Obama and his so-called ’socialist agenda’ this star bragged to friends of our source that they plan on ‘using as many plastic grocery bags’ as they can, leave their ‘car idling every chance’ they get and take ’some extra long and hot showers.’ We’re not sure how this politically thwarts the democrats, but it does prove a point that our celebrity is a moron. (BuzzFoto via Gawker)

This blind item smells like Patrica Heaton, which smells like 100% CUNT.

Which party-girl turned entrepreneur never leaves home without her stash? She checked a few tote bags with a bell hop, who later found they were filled with cocaine. (Star via Blind Gossip)

Parasite Hilton? And I doubt it was cocaine. It was Valtrex dust.

Last week, Page Six printed this blind item:

Which womanizing crooner has been dating a reality TV starlet for more than two years, putting her up in hotels wherever he travels for shows.

According to Janet Charlton, the two twats hiding under that blind item are none-other-than manskank John Mayer and that Kristin Calamariorwhatever from Laguna Beach and The Hills. Apparently, John and Kristin have been sexing on the down low for two years. They usually bump assholes at the house of a mutual friend in the Hollywood Hills. Ick. Nast. I hope that their friend loves the rancid scent of 4-week-old menstrual fluid, desperation and old teeth on their sheets. And I'm only talking about John Mayer's stench!

Janet says that John and Kristin are ready to become more than fuck buddies and might take their "relationship" public. So, if this is true, then that means while John was dating Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston, he was humping on reality trash on the side? I hope that when she quit John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston got a priest to perform an exorcism to rid her body of the douche demons. And I also hope she soaked in a tub full of liquid Valtrex.

I mean, is there anything John Mayer won't fuck on? If the crusty loogie I coughed up this morning had at least 1 reality show credit to its name, John would be on it!