Kate Moss

When Dreamboat Doherty is sitting in front of a broken mirror, he softly weeps to himself, because he's expecting the hand of Kate Moss to cut the lines or lick the residue off one of his crack sores in his nose. And Kate's no longer there. And that's sad. Dreamy was hoping to woo Kate back at Lily Allen's show, but Lily's whores put a stop to that fuckery! Dumb bitches got in the way of crack's favorite couple getting back together.

Dreamy told Q Magazine that he was upset about it, “I wanted to see Lily Allen play the other week. But her label EMI got in touch and said, ‘We don’t want you there because Kate Moss will be there and it will take attention away from Lily. Can you not go? I was so insulted. I don’t know. I think I would have been courteous enough. Then I’d probably have headbutted her new boyfriend, put her over my shoulder and run off. I miss her. And I would like to speak to her.”

Jamie Hince has been warned. A headbutt from Dreamy will give him a permanent case of hair maggots. Bitch better wear a bar of soap around his neck at all times to ward off The Doherty.

Fuck Lily, fuck Jamie and fuck Kate too! Dreamy doesn't need that shit. Kate is a bad influence on him! He's as pristine as my no-no on a Sunday now and the last thing he needs is that drunk ass snagtooth whore to fuck up all his good work!

In a few months, she'll be back on her knees, begging Dreamy back. I hope he carefully puts the bible down, excuses himself from the sick orphans he was reading to and kindly tells Kate to fuck the fuck off!

VIA MTV UK

Kate Moss loves the bad shit, but apparently it doesn't love her back, because it turns her into a raging beastly wolf who will knock down bathroom stall doors to get a little time with it. Last week, the mother of the millennium partied for four straight nights in a row and it the fun came to a crash when she flipped out in the bathroom at a club in London.

The Sun says that the big bad whorebag blew into the ladies room at Volstead and caused chaos when she found out all the stalls were taken. That selfish ass whore bag! Other skanks need their nose medicine too! Damn. A source said, “She barged into the ladies and when she realised there were no cubicles free she starting kicking one of the doors, shouting: ‘Hurry up or I’ll kick the fucking door down." Yeah, I'm sure she screamed, "I'll chop and I'll cut and I'll snort your lines up!"

The bathroom attendant tried to calm Kate down and gave her some tissue to use when it was her turn. Kate threw it back and shouted, "I don’t want any of your skanky toilet roll.”

If a toilet roll had eyes, it would have given Kate a side-eye that could kill. Who the fuck is that bitch calling a skanky toilet roll?! In fact, Kate's Wikipedia page should say "Katherine 'Kate' Moss is an English model and a skanky toilet roll."

Kate Moss isn't going to let a pesky thing called "having a child at home" get in the way of her partying until the early morning hours all week. If momma doesn't get her pussy drunk, she's not happy.

The Sun says Kate partied like a Moss for the fourth night in a row yesterday with Count Von Count. Kate didn't roll up into her house until after 4 in the morning. And about halfway through her night, bitch changed outfits, because her first one probably got a little dusty with coke particles.

Don't worry about Kate's little girl! Children can take care of themselves these days. Just plop them in front of the TV, give them an empty Jack Daniels bottle to play with and a Goo Goo Cluster to eat for dinner. Hey, it has nuts and that's protein!

At a Fendi party in Paris last night, the human 8-ball known as Kate Moss did what she does best while sitting with young Leonetta Fendi. First of all, she was watching Beth Ditto shaking her ham hocks so you'd be out-of-your-brains tanked too. Second of all, Lil' Leonetta is learning how to be a fucked-up mess from one of the best! You have to learn some day, so you might as well as learn from the cokey master! Although, Leonetta is sitting a little too close. She could accidentally breath in a rogue particle. At this point, she should be observing, not participating. But you know Kate asked her if she was holding.

This shit was a Fendi party and I couldn't find any pictures of Karl Lagerfeld! The zombie queen probably died for good when Beth Ditto stripped down and started jiggling her business. You know that shit's a good party when Kate Moss is boozing with a child and the living dead dies.

The Neverending Story is having the day from hell. Kate Moss, how could you?!

At last year's costume gala at the MET in NYC, Kate Moss was waiting in a long line to greet the event's organizers. You know, kind of like when you meet the queen. Well, the biggest QUEEN of them all sashayed by with his robobeard in tow and cut the entire line (not Kate's kind of line).

This made Kate Moss' snagtooth throb in anger. She told New York Magazine (via Showbiz Spy), "We stood in line for an hour or something to say hello. We're going, 'I can't believe this. You can't smoke. You can't have a drink.' Tom and Katie just walked right up to the front, and we were like, 'Who the fuck are they? They're not even in fashion'."

Those two twats are NEVER in fashion. And I'm going to co-sign Kate's "Who the fuck are they?" statement. You know even Suri asks that question whens he gets up in the morning.

In Tommy Girl's defense, that power bottom always gets to cut a receiving line. But now we know Kate HATES those two and just needs a reason to get rid of them forever. The next time they are in the same room together, it's someone's duty as a human being to drop a coke bomb all over Tommy and Katie. Then run to Kate Moss and shout, "The party's over there." That coke-eater will snort those two up faster than you can say "GLIB."

Back in January, Kate Moss was photographed in Thailand looking like she was suffering from a little condition called knocked the fuck up. Some weren't sure if this was the case, since bitch was sucking on fags and downing beer. But this is The Moss we're talking about. Bitch can't breathe in oxygen unless it's laced with nicotine.

The other night, Kate left a restaurant in London, where I'm sure she enjoyed a plate of parsley, looking like she was definitely preggers. Yes, I used preggers to remind us all the grossness of that world. It sounds like something I spit up this morning.

The News of the World says Kate is indeed the Big P and is expecting her new baby's arrival in August. Since she's past 12-weeks, she's telling more and more friends. A source said, “She’s vowing to be an even better mum this time.” This time? Oh, yeah. She has another one of those kid things. I always forget about that. Usually when I see Kate, she has a ciggie in her hand, not a baby friend.

The father this time around is Jamie Hince, her Count Von Count-looking boyfriend. Damn. That baby is going to come out looking like this.

There's still a little piece of me that wishes maybe she's pregnant with Dreamboat Doherty's baby. It could happen. His spermies are just as wasted as him. They probably got distracted on the way to Kate's eggs. They hit up a few bars, crashed at a few crackhouses and eventually snuggled into her eggs years later. If the baby comes out with a "Property of the DH" stamp on its ass, we'll know Dreamy is the daddy!

These pictures of Kate Moss with a belly that doesn't concave have led some to believe that a baby friend is currently renting that space. Kate is in Thailand right now with her boyfriend and daughter. Yes, she's there right now! So get a kayak and paddle your ass over there! While you're there, bring me back a beautiful ladyboy, because I really need one as my professional confidante and go-go dancer.

Anyway, some source told The Daily Mail that while she's in Thailand, Kate has told her daughter's nanny that she's sending more work her way. The source said, "Kate told her that the bonus had been doubled, as she hoped she’d have twice as much work for her this year."

Kate isn't acting like your run-of-the-mill pregnant lady, because she's been smoking and drinking. The source said Kate is planning to detox in Thailand in a few days. Detox = shit out all your insides.

Yes, Kate could be knocked up, but she also could have just eaten something that wasn't an ice cube or a lemon seed. That's what you do on vacation. You get drunk, get fat and get dicked. Those are the rules. On the other hand, if she is carrying a lil' bundle of cokeyness, there has to be a reason for the fag in her hand and the beer juice going down her throat.

Obviously, Kate cares about her fetus. Fetuses get bored! Imagine just laying there, trying to find ways to past the time. It probably sucks. So Kate just dropped him a little beer and blew a little nicotine his way, so that he can lay back and enjoy the ride. If only Kate could shove a care package containing a bong, a Rubik Cube and an ABBA CD up her vagina, her fetus will be all set for the next few months.

P.S. - There's some Moss nipple in a couple of these pics for those that work for prudes! But in the future, if you see a Moss post, there's most likely going to be nekkid booby in it. That's how Kate rolls.

Marky Mark and his third nipple posed a topless Kate Moss back in the 90s for that Calvin Klein shit. Marky didn't have to worry about having a boner accident during the shoot, because he wasn't into Kate's boy body.

He told Nuts Magazine (via The Sun), "It was OK. I wasn’t into the waif thing. She kind of looked like my nephew. I mean she’s beautiful – she’s a very pretty nephew – but I’m more into curvy women.....and say hi to your mutha for me." He didn't say that last part. Okay, he probably did, but not on record.

I'm sure the feeling was mutual. Marky Mark has a body built for hitting it from the front, but he has a face that could a pacifier and a head that's missing a dunce cap.

Here is the full solid gold statue of Kate Moss and the word "CROTCH" immediately comes to mind. I can practically see her gold-plated clitty knob. I know this is supposed to be art and shit, but this is too much information. And the solid gold makes her ass look fat.

The statue by artist Marc Quinn is valued at $3 million, but it look like it's worth a half-baggie of coke and a used toothbrush. Last month, the British Museum offered us just a taste of this trash called "Siren," but now its on display in its full PUSSY BONE glory through January 25th.

You know how some of you are fucking obsessed with Hugh Laurie in a scary way, Marc feels the same way about Kate. He has already done the same statue of Kate but in plaster. He obviously has a fascination with her cokey vagina. You know he totally busts a nut when he sculpts this shit.

And I'm sure this is what Rojo Caliente's lady parts look like, but hers is also sprinkled with diamonds.