Crazy Baby Lady

"Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts." This is the shit OctoMommy's former spokeswhore said to UsWeekly after quitting her insane ass on Friday night.

NUTS doesn't even begin to describe the craziness that bitch is made out of. If you took the word NUTS, wrapped it in straitjackets, threw it in a padded room and treated it with electroshock therapy while a chorus of Nurse Ratcheds danced around it, it still wouldn't look as half as crazy as OctoMommy.

This is the second time a publicist crossed OctoMommy off their client list. Her first pr whore couldn't take all the death threats. Victor Munoz, her second spokesbitch, didn't seem to mind the death threats, he just couldn't take the fact that his client doesn't have the sane gene in her whole body. Victor went on to say, "It just got to be too much. It's pretty much a free for all over there right now. They are freaking out right now. Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything. You have no idea what I’ve had to do for these people. This I can say: what ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons."

What ultimately destroyed it was that you can probably have a more reasonable conversation with a fucking burnt rutabaga than with that bag of crazy.

You know, OctoMommy is running out of options. Somebody, preferably a psychiatrist, should introduce her to Heather Mills. The two have one major thing in common: they are both certifiably motherfucking INSANE. They've got backwards brains! Together they can open up a pr agency for wackos. I'm sure there's a loony bin that will give them free office space with a gorgeous view of a padded wall.

No, this post isn't about Crazy Baby Lady spreading her octopussy in a porn movie. This might be worse. TMZ says that some bitch is currently trying to whore out OctoCrazy's birth tape for around seven figures. No, the horror show wasn't directed by Eli Roth, but somebody shot that shit in the delivery room with OctoCrazy's blessing.

Seriously, that is some Hostel shit right there. A blood bath to rival all blood baths. I'm not going to lie, I'd watch it.

I bet that when the doctor cut into her Audrey II, a white flag from her womb popped up. Then the doctor and his staff had to wrestle the babehs out, because they refused to come out. They knew what kind of craziness they were getting into.

If that fuckery is too much for you, just search "dog giving birth to litter" on YouTube. It's probably less gory and a furry dog friend is much more pleasant to look at than OctoCrazy.

Vivid Entertainment is piggybacking on OctoMommy's fame (the visual just destroyed me) by offering her $1 million for just one porn movie. Yeah, watching dudes dick slap her c-section scars is really going to make genitals explode in excitement.

TMZ says that Vivid is ready to make her a contract girl and if she agrees to that, her army of babehs will get full medical and dental insurance. But she'll have to do more than one porn.

Well, bitches have been calling her Octopussy, so she's already got the name. Or maybe she can call herself Vaginalina HOlie? Either will work. And for titles I'm thinking Eight Inches Is Not Enough, STRETCH Marks or Womb Raider? One of her "co-stars" can dress up like a giant sperm, she can dress up like an egg and they can do fucky times on a giant petri dish. Ugh. I can't. It's too early and the caffeine isn't even close to kicking in. I might have to shoot up coffee directly through my veins in order to deal.

OctoMommy is every kind of crazy, so I wouldn't pull out my pit hairs in shock if she actually went through with this. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to this crazy.

The OctoMommy reality show is coming down the crazy tube any day now and this is probably what it's going to look like. RadarOnline shot a 30-minute showdown between Crazy Baby Lady and her tortured mommy in the living room of a rented house. This mess looks exactly like the fake backstage video confrontations on Maury. This whole video is like watching a slow-moving trainwreck. In fact, you hope a train comes barreling through the back window. Well, a train or a crazy people-collecting paddy wagon.

OctoMommy flips her Wesson-injected lips when her mom, Angela, criticizes her for having 8 IVF babehs. OctoMommy screams at her mom, "I'm not going to destroy the embryos, period. Done, done, done. You can't go back and alter the past." When Angela tells her that she didn't have to do anything with the frozen embryos, Crazy Baby Lady responds, "They were lives. You either use them or destroy them."

Radar posted the first part yesterday. Above is just a clip from Today. Watching this cuckoo party confirms to me that OctoMommy needs a warm hug. A warm hug from a fucking straitjacket! Bitch deserves her own reality show alright. A reality show shot in a loony bin.

Angela doesn't need this shit! Bitch should just grab a roll of Bounty and run away to Reno to become a Rosie the Waitress impersonator. Actually, Angela's probably driving the Crazy Choo Choo train. The lunatic gene is alive and well in the Suleman family.

This whole OctoMommy gets crazier and crazier as the days go by. So, the country's most hated IVF junkie is getting kicked out of the Whittier house she lives in with her band of children, because she hasn't paid the mortgage in 10-months. The house is owned by her mommy and they owe $24k in back payments. The house could be headed for public auction. Now is your chance to own a piece of OctoMommy!

I know you were cleaning out your guest room dresser drawers to make a place for all of OctoMommy's million babies to sleep in, but you don't have to do that anymore. Crazy Baby Lady might have a new lair! A $1.24 million lair to be exact. HA! Please, look up the word "audacity" and you'll see a picture of a smiling OctoJolie.

TMZ says she looked at a fancy Whittier home today. It has a pool, 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. And I'm pretty sure she's still receiving public assistance, but she'll probably use the money from the ten million interviews she's doing.

Click here to see pictures of Octo's new baby poop kingdom. And if you live in CA, you might want to take a closer look, since you're probably paying for some of it. HA! I'm sorry, but I love joking to my mom about that shit. She lives in CA and nearly explodes every time I laugh about it. It's not laughing matter....But it is! You know how I love a certifiable batshit crazy motherfucker and OctoMommy is the epitome of that. I'd have an Amniotic-tini with her (BARF).

And here's some pictures of Crazy Baby Lady at the bank yesterday taking out your money.