Pete Doherty

All of my favorite crackheads are falling apart! First, I learn that the Crackie of Camden supposedly overdosed twice this year! And now I read that Dreamboat Doherty, the crackhead of all crackheads, collapsed in Austria this past Thursday.

The Sun reports that Dreamy was set to perform at the premiere of one his home movies at a porn theater in Graz when he passed out. Earlier, Dreamy went on a drug bender at his promoter's house. Thankfully, Dreamy was revived. They probably just threw soapy water on him. You know how much he hates soap. He refused to go to the hospital for obvious reasons. He was able to perform...four hours later.

People are so DRAMATIC! He didn't pass out. He was just taking a little nap. A crack nap. Dreamy waz tiwered. Sleepy crackhead. Besides, if Dreamy "collapsed," I would've passed out too. We're soulmates, so I feel his pain. Wait. Come to think of it. I did fall on my ass while buying Crisco and laxatives (don't ask) at Rite-Aid on Thursday. I blamed it on the espresso and Red Bull I had earlier in the day.

I have to write this really fucking fast, because I want to catch the next dingy to Austria! You see, Dreamboat Doherty is going to premiere one his crackie home movies at a porn theater in Graz, Austria. Dreamy's friend said that some of his movie is "very revealing."

The theater's owner said that Dreamy's private footage will be screened tonight. I'd like to privately screen Dreamy's footage, if I ain't being too subtle! I'm sure I would lose my tongue on contact, but that's ok. Sometimes your tongue just gets in the way of really going to town. Besides, I'll have a valid excuse when I say to a stranger, "Hey mith! I ike your puss."

The theater owner said, "It is private material from Pete Doherty that he filmed by himself. He said he wanted to show it. I have no idea what is in it though or how long it is. It will be a surprise." Oh, I can imagine how long it is... Wait, does he even have one anymore? Or did the crack eat it off? That's ok. I'll suck on the stump.

It's unclear whether or not Dreamy is going to show up. Who knows with that crackhead. The theater will also provide barf bags, industrial strength eye bleach, towelettes provided by Hazmat and steel blindfolds.

Source

We almost lost of one of the greatest crackheads of our time! Dreamboat Doherty played the Live at Loch Lomond festival in Scotland this past Saturday. After his performance, Dreamy and a few friends took a row boat out to get to a VIP area. The Sun reports that when they were about 30 meters from safety, their boat sprang a leak and they all almost died! Luckily, they were pulled to safety.

Dreamy's manager, who was also in the boat, said, “We lost an oar and sprang a leak. It was freezing and we had a laugh, but it would not have been funny if someone died.” It probably would have been funny to those crackheads if someone died, because crackies find everything hilarious.

Hey, at least Dreamy got a bath. Unfortunately, that's bad news for the lake creatures who were probably smothered by Dreamy's stank. They are also going to have to close down that lake and declare it a toxic waste zone.

Fuckity Fuck! Dreamboat Doherty has gone and done it. I can no longer defend his cracked up ass. At a concert in Spain, Dreamy openly boozed on stage and took drugs. He also gave the Hitler salute. And I think Dreamboat is half Jewish. Ugh. This piece of crackie trash obviously needs to do more drugs. He was probably sobering up when he did it. He can't think straight when he's sober. Bilde.de comments that it's a good thing he did it in Spain and not in Germany, where the salute is illegal.

Maybe that's the signal he gives his personal drug dealer to let him know that he needs a refill? Or maybe he's just a brain dead fucktard. Sigh.

VIA ONTD

This picture will be coming to bed with me tonight. Sit and spin! I'll get paper cuts on my ass lips, but it's worth it. Anyway, let's crawl out of the gutter now, shall we? Well, we'll crawl out of the gutter and then crawl right back in, because this is a story about Dreamboat Doherty.

Dreamboat actually showed up to court today to face charges for assaulting a pap last summer. The pap, Catherine Mead, was following his crackie ass around when Dreamy stopped her and asked, "Why have you been following me around all day, why don’t you come and introduce yourselves?" Instead of fainting from being so close to Dreamy's intense hotness, the dumb bitch kept taking pictures, so he grabbed her camera and broke it.

Dreamy pleaded guilty, the court accepted his plea and ordered him to pay a $2,000 fine. $1,800 goes to the pap for her busted camera. $200 goes to the court for fees.

He told reporters outside of court, "Yeah, it was OK today. It should have been sorted out ages ago, to be honest." He went on to say, "Michael K, will you marry me?" I wish. I'd pay all his court fees and even clean the crackie jam out of his toes....with my tongue.

The dumb bitch pap probably thinks Dreamboat is really going to pay her $1,800 for her stupid camera. Even if he had that kind of money, he wouldn't give it to her annoying ass. He would smoke, smoke, smoke it up!

Thumbs down to thievery! Some cunts robbed Dreamboat Doherty! While Dreamy was coking it up performing in Spain, some dumb bitches broke into his crackie den and stole a $2,000 guitar and three of his blood paintings.

Dreamy came home yesterday to find his shit gone. Is he sure he didn't accidentally smoke that shit up and forgot about it? It was probably just one of his many drug dealers collecting payment. Dreamy needs to interrogate all 10,000 of his pussies. Knowing them, they were probably too cracked out to notice.

In 2003, Dreamy was sent to the chokey for six months for robbing the home of Carl Barat, one of his Libertines bandmates. Don't say this is karma! Karma doesn't exist for Dreamy.

Don't worry. Dreamy will get the last laugh! In a couple of days, the whores who robbed him will find themselves with some sort of rare STD only found in the jungles of Dreamy's house. That's what they get for fucking with a crackhead.

Source

First of all, there's nowhere safe for your eyes to run. From the cokey snot in his nose, to the crack pox on his face to the moldy butter wedges in his mouth....it's all too much. That being said, I'd still sit on his face and use my ass suction to suck up the leftover coke out of his nose. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.

Anyways, an arrest warrant was issued for Dreamboat Doherty after he didn't show up to a court hearing for the second time. Dreamy was supposed to be in court today to enter a plea on charges of causing criminal damages for allegedly attacking a female pap last summer. When he didn't show, an arrest warrant was issued.

A few hours later, the warrant was withdrawn and Dreamy's spokeswhore said, "The matter has been resolved and the warrant has been withdrawn."

That's fucking right! The court realized they were messing with the wrong crackie! Dreamy is above the law and they need to realize that. They've already fucked up by putting him in the chokey for a few days and they better not eff up again. If they do, Dreamy will sneeze on them and that will be the end of those dumb bitches!

If that isn't a pussy in distress, I don't know what it is. Pussy with "suicide face" is a sad sight to see! Anycrackie, The Sun takes us into the immaculate and stunning crack den of Dreamboat Doherty! I'm sure there was a bidding war with Elle Decor for these gorgeous photos. I especially love the blood-stained walls in his state-of-the-art kitchen. That was a cozy touch and I'm sure interior decorators everywhere are going to copy his style.

Dreamy's bedroom is just as charming. I'm sure the whores on CSI would have a fucking field day with that bed. That bed will make even the toughest black light explode into a million pieces.

Don't be jealous while going through the photos of Dreamy's crack den. I'm sure it took a lot of crack smoking and heroin snorting for Dreamy's den to look that filthy gorgeous. Also, don't let Blaaaake see the picture of Dreamboat riding Amy Wino!!!

Dreamboat Doherty posted this lovely video on his YouTube account and dedicated to the snagtoof of his life, Kate Moss. He sings some song called "Bohemian Love" while pictures of him and Kate flash on the screen. I swear, crackies love webcams and cameras. If you don't know what to get your favorite crackhead for Christmas, get them a webcam. They will love you for it.

One of Dreamy's scared pussies also makes an appearance at the 1:45 mark. Pussy looks so relaxed. It probably just had a hit from Dreamy's pipe.

And here's some pictures of Dreamboat at Glastonbury. Who the hell didn't play Glastonbury?! Please tell me Samantha Fox is closing that bitch.

Today is turning out to be a sexy day. First there was La Pequena naked in a dirty ass tub and now here's Dreamboat Doherty washing his privates. He does this about once a year. The bathroom probably smells like rotten bong water. And that contaminated water is going back into the London sewers for the rats to drink. There's going to be some fucked up rats roaming the streets looking for a hit.

The sweet pussy at the beginning of the clip is trying to speak to us with his eyes. He's saying, "Heeeeeelp meeeee..." Hopefully, sweet pussy ate that suspicious looking leaf-thing off the filthy carpet and now he's on cloud fucking nine, forgetting his troubles.

Below is another clip of Dreamy talking about.....hell if I know! I'm not fluent in crackie-talk!

Thanks Mari