Pete Doherty

Amy Wino and Dreamboat Doherty are currently working together on a new song, but Wino is not impressed with Dreamy's skills. A source said Wino has called his music "SHIT." Um...and she just realized that now? Dreamy isn't known for his amazing music. He's known for his stunning looks.

A source said, “Amy has thrown back every song Pete has written for her. She keeps telling him it’s rubbish — and worse — and she’ll only perform if the song is great."

Perhaps, the song is shit, because Wino and Dreamy are too busy playing with mice and pussies! Below is a video from Dreamboat's YouTube account of the two playing with his new kittens. Give a crackhead a camera and this is what you get. I'm going to call Promises rehab and put those kittens on their waiting list. They're going to need help in a few weeks.

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Hurry! Jump in the shower, turn on the hot water and wash yourself with Walmart brand bleach. It will burn your skin, but you must get clean after seeing this picture.

WTF is growing on Dreamboat?! See, this is what the turd gets for touching lips with Amy Wino. A new disease has been born. In a few more days, that thing is going to grow legs, jump off of his face and roam the streets for a crack fix. Throw holy water on it! Kill it before it grows.

In other Dreamy news, The Sun reports that he has purchased three more cats bringing his tally to ten. Ten pussies! Dreamy also thought it would be a good idea to buy pregnant mice for his cats to eat. He should feed his cats that thing growing on his face. I'm sure there's a ton of protein in there. Well, a ton of crack I should say.

Image: INFDaily.com

The welfare version of Sid & Nancy, Wino & Dreamboat, met up again last night. Thankfully, they kept their lips to themselves this time. They probably received a warning from the health department.

For once, Wino is not wearing her ballet slippers. It probably took a few men, gallons of nail polish remover and giant pliers to get those things off. I'm also beginning to think that those denim chocha shorts cannot come off. Her pussy lips are totally stuck to them. She's going to need some potent crack to mask the pain when she has to rip those things off.

These two hags totally have a cloud of dirt following them around like Pig Pen. Don't get me started on Dreamy. You know it's like cheese shop underneath his dick. You can get feta, gouda, asiago, peppered mozzarella and romano. Spread that shit all over a cracker and you've got yourself a healthy snack!

Ladies and hobags, you are witnessing a new deadly and toxic super disease being born. You should feel grateful that you are watching history in the making. Unfortunately, this new super skank disease will take us all out within the next 72 hours. Oh well! It was swell knowing you.

Seriously, Wino needs to step off my Dreamboat! She can't give him what I can. Actually, she can give him a snatch full of crack. She wins. I can't compete with that shit.

This image can also be used for D.A.R.E.'s summer ad campaign. No words are necessary. This picture is enough to make junkies flee to their nearest methadone clinic.

Wino and Dreamy shared a kiss of mass destruction outside of her house last night. We're doomed.

Dreamboat Doherty said he realized he had to give up drugs after he tried kill one of his cats with a shovel. Dreamboat's pussies deserve the purple heart. They've been forced to smoke crack and they've escaped death by shovel beating.

Dreamboat told The Mirror, "I got a shovel and was going to kill one of the cats. That was when I was, like, you know, 'I'm a bit of a mess'. It was a bit of a crazy time."

Maybe, we should send over Animal Police: London (I don't think that show exists over there) to pay a little unannounced visit to Dreamboat. By "unannounced visit," I mean save those fucking pussies before it's too late.

While Dreamy Doherty was busy injecting heroin in his eye balls in the clink, a welfare fund was set up to help him out with his financial troubles. Stefano Passantino, the founder of lastseason.com, donated all the profits from stripey t-shirts sold on his website to Dreamboat. The fund made a whopping $34.20. Shit, that's $34 more than Dreamy has in his pocket now.

Stefano said, "Sales have been somewhat disappointing - we only sold six stripey tops. We had planned to do a big presentation and get a big cheque made up, but it seems pointless for a mere 17 quid and change. I wish Pete better luck selling records."

The check has been forwarded to Dreamboat's management aka his 6 cats. They are going to spend it on cat nip joints. Actually, Dreamy's management said they will donate the money to charity. Generous.

You know, I was on my way to the post office to send my donation to Dreamy's fund when I spotted a delicious Lucky Charms treat at the deli. My taste buds could not live without it. It was either crack money for a crackhead or a bite of marshmallow goodness. I made the right choice.

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Thanks Jen

Dreamboat Doherty was released from prison in London today after serving 29 days of a 14-week sentence. Bollocks! Is that what the Brits say? He shouldn't have served a fucking day! Dreamboat Doherty is special. No, I really think he's special in a short bus kind of way. It would explain everything. Seriously, Dreamy doesn't go to prison. Hopefully, the city of London has learned its lesson and won't put him in there again.

Dreamy told his reporters that he couldn't wait to get home, pet his cat and drink a rum and coke. What he really meant to say what that he couldn't wait to get home, pet his peen, drink his cum and do some coke. I know, I'm nasty. He also said, “Thank you Mrs Thatcher for putting me in the company of the most dangerous criminals in the country.” Awwww, he's so charming. He probably said that with heroin snots coming out of his nose, but he's still a dreamboat.

When ask if he had taken any drugs while in the cokey, Dreamy told The Sun, "Well, I knew it was going to be a bit rough to start with, with the overcrowding and the medical facilities although they do their best - they are good, they can’t really cater for the average junkie...” Dreamy is anything but an average junkie. If he was a superhero, his name would be SuperJunkie! Here to snort the day!

It's nice to know that Dreamy is free again. We should take bets on his next arrest. I'm guessing in about.....3 hours! I would say 2 hours, but it will take him about an hour just to "pet his cat."

Dreamboat Doherty was supposed to play London's Royal Albert Hall and then he sort-of accidentally got thrown in prison. I say accidentally, because it wasn't meant to happen! Dreamboat is innocent. Anyway, Dreamy has rescheduled the show and even persuaded Amy Wino to join him on stage for a duet. Persuaded? He offered her a dimebag.

A source said, “They think playing at such an incredible venue will be a massive two-fingers to their critics - especially in light of their traumatic personal lives."

Methadone should sponsor the concert.

Talk about fucking perfect. Wino and Dreamy go together like heroin and the shakes. Like booze and grease. Like crack and a broken light bulb.

It will most likely sound a lot like two cats engaged in violent sex. The first time I heard two cats doing it, I rushed out thinking someone was strangling my pussy!

The crack Gods have answered my prayers! Dreamboat Doherty will be released from the chokey on Tuesday! Crack Tuesday!

Crackheads and dealers everywhere are rejoicing! Dreamboat was sentenced to 14-weeks in prison, but he will be set free after just 29 days even though he smoked heroin while in there. Well, he's Dreamboat Doherty! The rules don't apply to him.

The Sun reports that Dreamboat is already planning a massive party. That just means he's going to get really fucked up. A source said, “He’s planning to go straight to play a gig — and then get smashed. He wants no business appointments for three days — so he can really go for it.”

Dreamboat was originally sentenced to 14-weeks for not taking drug tests during his suspended sentence for heroin possession. His sentenced was halved and 18 days were deducted due to overcrowding. He was also given 2 days off because of time in police custody.

I'm going to make an advent calendar using rolling papers and cardboard from a homeless crackhead's house. Each day, I will rip off a paper and smoke it up in his honor! Hooray!

Dreamboat Doherty is spending his time in prison snorting heroin, staring at the walls, dodging the drug dealers that want to beat his ass and reading the Koran. What?! Reading the Koran? It's been reported that Dreamy has turned to Islam to help him get through his days in the chokey.

A source said, "He’s been reading the Koran since he went into segregation. He’s got a lot of Muslim friends and they’ve been on at him for ages to study it. Now he’s on his own he’s got time on his hands to study it. I’m surprised how much it has calmed him down as he was very on edge inside. He definitely seems more chilled. He’s lapping it up and really interested in it. I think it’s helping him in there.”

Nothing surprises me about this hot crackiehead. It wouldn't even shock me if Dreamy decided to become a Polygamist wife in Texas. The only thing shocking about this whole story is learning that his ass can read. I'm surprised all the heroin he's ingested hasn't destroyed that part of his brain yet.

In the past, Dreamy has also studied Scientology and other cults and religions. Methinks Dreamy is just going through all these cults and religions to find that one that says it's ok to smoke crack. He should start his own. The Church of Dreamboat!

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