Nalgas

And now your loins can exhale, because Levi Johnston's Playgay spread has made its way onto their website. Levi already said that he's not going to drop his Alaskan meat on our foreheads, but he does give us some pubes and full nalgas. Levi's built like a soft-serve cone and his nalgas aren't going to win contests anytime soon, but my no-no isn't going to bitch or moan. It takes what it can get.

I'll stop, so that you can get to the goods already after the jump. By the way, this is not PORN. It's in black and white, so that mean this is high-art. Just tell yourself that while you pinch at your nipples and flick your taint. Also, his Bristol tattoo really adds the touch of elegance this phoot really needed.

UPDATE: Images removed per request, but you can skip on over to Playgirl and drop a few coins to see the nekkidness.

If your bikini bottom isn't halfway up your no-no and flossing your anal canal, then you are doing it wrong! Just ask Gay Al Reynolds. He probably has this bikini in every color of the rainbow!

Here's the CAPS-LOCK Master and his rent-to-own snatch Amber Rose hanging out in Miami yesterday. And Amber Rose is literally hanging out. I love how she's covering up her breasts while her butt boobies are out for all to see. Modesty = u r doing it wrng.

Even though Amber Rose wore her favorite "LOOK AT MY ASS" bikini by Crest Glide, Gay Fish wasn't happy with the attention. Kanye used his stumpy middle finger to send a message to the paps. Don't make him put that glass of Dynasty juice down and break his MacBook Air over this shit. BITCH BOGUS!

Bruno's world domination officially started in Paris yesterday at the premiere of his movie where he killed hos with his Naired pancake nalgas and fancy farts. That gayderhosen on Bruno wasn't glittery at first, but then when he put it on....SMASH. CLICK. GLITZ.

Fun fact: This was Tommy Girl's original costume in Valkyrie, but for some strange reason the producers vetoed it.

Here's more of Bruno puckering for the cameras yesterday and also leaving his hotel later in the day wearing Gay Al's "Ode to Thriller" outfit.

Paula Deen, the clogged artery of my heart (and that's a compliment), was keeping it sexy at the Miami Food & Wine Festival yesterday when her nalgas decided to come out and play while she was walking off the stage. I figured Paula Deen is a Red Vines g-string kind of bitch, but she was wearing some flesh-colored granny panties instead. I'm also surprised a stick of butter didn't fall out of her ass. Seriously, you know she can churn butter up in there.