AbFab

This is the kind of ho shit I expect from Patty or Selma, but not Marge. I think I have a new favorite Simpson (sorry Maggie).

E! Online says that Marge Simpson will flash her yellow nipples and her toon poon in the pages of November's Playboy. Marge will even take the cover. THAT SLUT! The interview and three-page pictorial will run in honor of The Simpson 20th anniversary. Marge isn't going to pull any of that Heidi Montag fuckery by covering the goods. Marge is going all the way. Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever see a blue snatch stache in Playboy, but there's a first time for everything. And I doubt it if Marge will even need a little help from Photoshop.

And when I typed "Marge Simpson naked" into Google, the first thing that "came" up was a gonzo porn site devoted to The Simpsons. I thought my brain was a permanent resident of the gutter, but these hos outdid me. If you've ever wondered what a Marge Simpson gang bang looks like, (NOT SAFE FOR YOUR SOUL) then click on over. If you get the tingles, keep it yourself (that was a note to self).

These are the pictures the bitches at Summer's Eve don't want you to see! Do you suddenly feel like your vagina is so squeaky clean that you could serve a five-course meal off of it?! Well, let the family know that Thanksgiving dinner is on your labia lips this year, because one quick look at Jon Gosselin and Christian Audigier in St. Tropez will leave your cooze fresher than a baby angel's fart. And if you stare long enough, your ovaries will turn inside out and refuse to serve, so this shit is like birth control too! Two birds!

Jon Gosselin is still in St. Tropez with his 22-year-old whore where he's apparently talking to Christian about working for Ed Hardy. Jon and Christian are just two dingles in an asshole! I mean, they are so close that Christian even commissioned a wax statute of his new best friend Jon (see the first thumbnail). Or maybe that's an artistic interpretation of their new friendship. PEENANA!

And here they are. It's Kristen Johnston and Kathryn Hahn as Patsy and Edina on the set of the American slaughter of the British treasure Absolute Fabulous. No, it wasn't a vodka-induced nightmare. Is this real life? Yes it is.

Kristen and Kathryn can dump their costumes and scripts into that trash can and run for it. There's still time! There's still time to save the world. You know, I shouldn't fucking judge something that hasn't even aired yet, but look at them. At them, look. They look like two PTA moms who are trying to dress as Patsy and Edina for Slutoween. You can't try, you just have to be.

But I'm hoping these hos will prove me wrong. And expect to see HoHan in the exact same outfit Kristen is wearing. I think the costumers went through her dirty laundry.