Peen

And now your loins can exhale, because Levi Johnston's Playgay spread has made its way onto their website. Levi already said that he's not going to drop his Alaskan meat on our foreheads, but he does give us some pubes and full nalgas. Levi's built like a soft-serve cone and his nalgas aren't going to win contests anytime soon, but my no-no isn't going to bitch or moan. It takes what it can get.

I'll stop, so that you can get to the goods already after the jump. By the way, this is not PORN. It's in black and white, so that mean this is high-art. Just tell yourself that while you pinch at your nipples and flick your taint. Also, his Bristol tattoo really adds the touch of elegance this phoot really needed.

UPDATE: Images removed per request, but you can skip on over to Playgirl and drop a few coins to see the nekkidness.

Here's a quick update on Levi Johnston's dick flashing situation. His manger Tank tells TMZ that Levi is getting his peen ready for its close-up, because it will be smiling for Playgirl's cameras: "Everything's gonna hang out. We're talking full johnson."

Tank went on to say that Levi will take all his panties off for Playgirl on November 16th. That happens to be the same day his kid's memaw, Sarah Palin, appears on Oprah for the first time.

You don't have to worry about jizzing up your monitor, because Playgirl plans to put out a special print edition (they are currently online only) of Levi's spread just in time for Christmas.

Levi can finally stop with the teasing. For the past couple of weeks he's been farting about how he may or may not bring the dick to the party. One minute, the tip is peeking out and the next minute, it's nestling back in his pants. Seriously, it felt like the longest first date EVER.

Image via Flickr

We've seen many pairs of chichis and chochas around these parts that it's high-time for some peen. A bunch of you hos sent me this picture from Mediatakeout that is supposedly Mr. Wanda Wandaaaa himself with his wang out. Because it came from Mediatakeout, I'd take it with a grain of ass dust.

If it isn't Jamie, you can still enjoy some dick action on a Friday afternoon. And tell the OCD freak in you to breathe slowly while looking at that messy ass bathroom. (NSFW) Click here for the goods.

There's been a lot of tittay and pussay on this site lately, so now I finally, finally, FINALLY have some dick for you courtesy of Dolph Lundgren! Don't act like you haven't been praying for this moment ever since laying eyes on his Swedish ass in the He-Man movie.

Tabloid Prodigy got a pic of Dolph with his little Orko out on the Mexican Rivera. Obviously, his little peen friend wasn't ready for its close-up. It's shy! That being said, I'd still dip that shit in lingonberry jam and hit it. Enough of this teasing, the peen is after the jump. But let me warn you that you might get a craving for a mini-pig-in-a-blanket with extra cheese, so be aware of that. JUMP!!!

It feels like it's been a while since we've had some peen on this here site. It's been dry. So smother your monitor with lube and get ready. This peen is courtesy of Eric (the trick of the left) from the Amazing Race 7 and 9.

Eric confirmed to L.A. Rag Mag that he squeezed the Twinkie (until the cream popped) on webcam. He told them, "Yeah, I did a jerk session for some girl who apparently took some stills. Could be worse." Okay, enough stupid talk. The wang and lotion is after the jump. And I shouldn't have to tell you, but unless you work at the place who publishes the sperm cookbook, this shit is NSFW. JUMP TO THE PEEEEEEEN!!!