Hookers

Daisy De La Hoya, the muppet stripper from Rock of Love 3, has already effed her way through Bret Michaels, Dave Navarro and probably C.C. DeVille. It should be no surprise that she's reportedly bumping genital warts with Tommy Lee. She'll fuck any foolio in a band and he'll fuck anyone with a pulse, so this works out just swell.

Daisy's spokesbitch told E! that they are "just friends." Daisy needs to stop lowering her voice and pretending to be her own publicist. We know that raggedy tampon doesn't have a spokeswhore! And we know what "just friends" means to her. That just means she hasn't let him do it in her no-no hole yet.

Daisy also flashes her skanks bags in Tommy Lee's Titty Cam video which plays before every Mötley Crüe's show. Aww....they work together. It must be true love. Honestly, these two poster skanks for the CDC make sense to me.

And I think you caught the clap from reading this post. You better head down to the free clinic and get that shit checked out.

This kiss between raggedy cotton ball Aubrey O'Day and socialtard Lydia Hearst is about as erotic as a blow job in a rest top bathroom. Trust me, there's nothing sexy about sucking dick in a rest stop bathroom. Especially because you're asking yourself if the rancid pee smell is coming from the peen you're blowing on or the puddle beneath your knee. Okay, that's kind of hot.

ANYWAY! These two dumb bitches were outside Butter in NYC last night when they decided to start kissing for the paps. Lydia looks like she's trying to hold in the vomit and Aubrey looks like she's thinking, "Does this fake lezzie kiss make my ass look fat?"

And no, they're not gayelles. They're just following trends. Wake me when Chicken Cutlets and the Empress of Lucite start sucking face. Swoooon....

Camille Grammer (formerly Camille Donatacci) is what all gold diggers should aspire to be. She went from shaking her ass on "Club MTV" to being married to Kelsey Grammer. She met Kelsey in 1996, married him 1997 and had their first kid in 2001. That is how you do it. That dumb Sarah Larson bitch needed to study Camille Grammer's business plan while she was fucking with George Clooney, but she effed up. Camille should teach a class at the Learning Annex on the art of gold digging.

Kelsey looks like he fucks like a turtle, but who cares?! Who needs sexy times when you have that much money? She probably orgasms when she uses her Black AMEX to buy a Bentley.

The stunning Camille escorted her sugar daddy to the premiere of "Swing Vote" last night in Hollywood. This looks like the biggest piece of shit movie ever. Booze can't even make this crap entertaining. You're going to have to drop acid if you plan on seeing this.

Other skanks who attended the premiere just to have their picture taken so they would remain relevant included DJ Tanner, Stephanie Tanner, Drunk Abdul and Kevin Costner.

Lance Bass is the gay Sienna Miller because he's doing fuckey fuckey times with a married man! Homewrecking slut! Well, not really. Lance's new piece, personal trainer Sebastian Leal, reportedly married Jessica Gannon 9 years ago and never divorced even though they broke up 3 years ago. Sebastian was raised in Brazil and Jessica is an American. Green card marriage! My favorite.

Jessica told Page Six that they split due to "irreconcilable differences." The differences being that they both like dick. Jessica went on to say, "We continue to love each other. He was, is and always will be my best friend." Blah...blah... Whatever you say Andie McDowell.

And somebody needs to tell Lance and Sebastian to please keep the fisting action behind closed doors.

This is like taking crack from a crackwhore. The stripper Muppet from Rock of Love 2 got herself a gig at The Marlin seafood restaurant in New Jersey where kids eat free! Sunday might be lobster night, but Saturday is rotten fish night thanks to Daisy de la Hoya! Her dirty trout lips will fit right in and so will her natural stank! I swear, did she think this through?

Popwatch posted this amazing advertisement which came from one of the local papers. Daisy is some sort of musician, so I'm sure there will be plenty of whore yodeling during her "performance."

Below are some pictures of the fish house chanteuse assaulting inanimate objects in Florida last month.

Before we go any further, what the fuck is she holding on the cover? A wild turkey, a muff made out of her shaved off ass crack hairs? It's probably a rabid possum considering the theme for this photo shoot. This shit pisses me off! They have an extremely classy outfit and they choose this bitch to model it? A total waste.

There's only two women on the planet that can pull off ripped, assless, jean shorts and that's Shauna Sand and CoCo. Gis Bundchen looks like a twink bottom hustler who regularly works the truck stops. Shauna and CoCo would look like a couple of elegant Jordache Godesses.

Gis told V Magazine that she would only do "ass shots" for Mario Testino, “Only Mario [Testino] could make me take these pictures…. People are going to say my butt is showing too much in these but this is V Magazine! If you’re going to do something like that, you do it for V.” Bitch! We've seen you naked.

I hope the magazine also features an article on how I can make this outfit at home. And the candids of this shoot are way better.

See more pics of Gis looking like a trailer trash hooker at Just Jared.

This story has nothing to do with Wonky McValtrex, but I googled "dick sucking competition" and this picture came up. It just seemed right.

So... 9 British chicks were arrested this past weekend for taking part in an oral sex competition on the Greek island of Zakynthos. The police said that the dumb whores are facing prostitution charges.

The chicks were vacationing on the island when they were offered money to take part in the contest. They were videotaped and the organizers planned to show it on the internet. 6 British dudes, 6 Greek dudes and two bar owners were also charged with encouraging obscene behavior.

Those 9 dumb whores should be ashamed of themselves! They obviously thought they were good enough dick suckers to enter a competition, but they can't persuade a few cops to let them go? Any skilled dick sucker would've sucked those cops into submission!

It's a sad day when bitches can't suck dick in public without getting arrested. What is this world coming to?

And what I want to know is, what are the rules in a dick sucking contest? Whoever deep throats the longest without barfing wins? Does honorable mention go to whoever can lick the nuts with their tongue at the same time? And where can I download an application for next year's competition? I've been training.

That being said, I am pleased to announce that next year I will hold the First Annual Dlisted Convention around this time on the beautiful Greek island of Zakynthos. Don't worry about packing clothes, you will only need condoms, toothpaste and a giant economy size Listerine. Don't bring floss! Remember! You aren't supposed to floss before sucking a big dick!

Source

Thanks Lisa

Isn't this a lovely sight? Topless Sienna Miller kissing her new married boyfriend Balthazar Getty. Yes, that's his wifey's name, Rosetta, tattooed over his heart. I know you want to blame skanky Sienna, but she's not the one who's married with 4 kids. I mean, his youngest kid is not even a year old!

Sienna's vagina can't help it! Besides, we've all done sexy times with married men at one point or another, right? It's one of the final initiations into the "Slut Bags With No Morals Club."

The Sun has a few pictures of Sienna and Balthazar "canoodling" and kissing while on vacation in Italy. These dumb sluts seriously don't give a fuck. Sienna's vagina needs major therapy, because it obviously has major issues. And if Balthazar wasn't such a slimy skeeze, I'd hit it. I'm lying. I'd hit it anyway.

Day-shift hooker alert! Brooke Hogan must be one secure tranny to go out with such a gorgeous friend. I mean, spandex/lace dress, spray-painted fake Louboutins, white lame shorty jacket and red rouge for days - perfection! This is the way every young liquor store hooker lady should dress for a classy night on the town.

AND! I can no longer clown on Brooke. Bitch is wearing exquisite lucite heels! If those beauties are from the Shauna Sand collection, I will get on my knees and worship her ding dong. Brooke Hogan is okay by me. Yup, lucite heels is all it takes.

Here's Brooke and her gorgeous day-shift hooker friend outside the Waverly Inn in NYC last night. WAIT?! NYC?! Excuse me, I have to go stalk KMart's lingerie department in hopes of seeing Brooke's stunning friend. Day-shift hookers love KMart's lingerie dept.

This shit is getting out of control. These people need to keep their dicks in their leotards! With rumors going around that Vadge is eating A-Rod's pussy (she denies it), Radar claims that A-Rod's wife is doing it with Lenny Kravitz. Lenny reportedly did it with Vadge in the early 90s. SLUTS! All of them! A bunch of buff sluts! They probably do each other with barbells.

According to the NY Post, A-Rod's man-wife, Cynthia Rodriguez, is currently in Paris and has been seen at Lenny's house a few times. Cynthia barely popped out her second child with A-Rod in April. She left the kids at home in Florida while she went to wave her muscley vagina around Paris.

What the hell next? Guy Ritchie is going to be linked to Lisa Bonet? Naw, that bohemian bitch is too cool to get involved in this fuckery.

And there is way too much testosterone in this post. I need to bring down the levels with some good-old fashioned AQUA!