True Blood

Just a quick minute ago, there were rumors that Alexander Skarsgard and his True Blood co-star Evan Rachel Wood were dating on the down low. Well, Askars loves to spread the hotness, because now Radar is saying that he might be getting loose with another co-star, Kate Bosworth.

Kate and Askars, who just finished shooting a movie together in Louisiana, were acting all couple-like at the Spike TV Scream Awards in Los Angeles this past Saturday night. After Kate presented Askars with the Best Villain award, they "canoodled" backstage. Some witness said they were whispering in each other's ears while holding hands.

Spokeswhore for both of them say they are just fweeeeeeendz.

Askars knows he's the peen of the moment, so he's just having a little fuck time fun. That's all this is. If he isn't serving Evan Rachel Wood a plate of his Swedish meatballs, then he's letting Kate Bosworth lick on his homemade Blodkorv. Although, I'm a little concerned for Kate. Bitch is the size of a fetus' nose hair, so she better down a dozen protein shakes before she tries to fuck on Askars all the way.

This picture of Alexander Skarsgard grabbing onto a dude's titty at Fantastic Fest '09 will probably find itself inserted into Photoshop about a million times, because crazed True Blood hos (yours truly included) will be pasting their heads on this shit. I mean, we all want Vampire Eric to place his sexy hand on our nipple while holding a Stella in the middle of a freezer.

Something tells me the dude's face lips aren't the only pair of lips puckering up. OW! Eric has that effect on everyone.

If that was me, I'd never wash or lick my nipple ever again. My nipple would be looking like a crusty 7-layer dip after about a year, and I still wouldn't take a towelette to it.

Source: PoshDeluxe VIA Just Jared

Sookeh and Beeehl aren't the only hos who are banging beach other after meeting on the True Blood set. Lainey Gossip says that Evan Rachel Wood and Alex Skarsgard have been fucking on each other for several weeks now. Do you hear that scraping sound? It's thousands of crazed fangbangers sharpening their shanks! Although, all they have to do is throw pie filling on Evan Rachel Wood and invite Marilyn Manson over for dessert. Bitch be gone!

Apparently, Evan and Alex have kept it on the down low by only hanging out together at non-famewhorey places in L.A. This past weekend, Evan flew to Shreveport, Louisiana to be with Alex. He's there shooting Straw Dogs with Kate Bosworth. Below is a picture of their asses walking down the street in New Orleans. Yeah, this isn't proof enough for me. If I was Evan, I'd be all over Alex's lingonberries all the time. Even in public. My legs would be wrapped around his shoulders and he'd have to carry my ass down the street like that. Evan's crotch area looks a little too calm.

If this shit is true, you know Evan Rachel Wood only went on True Blood to lick on Alex's piping hot Swedish meatball. I really have to stand up and applaud her ass for that. Bitch saw the goods and she got 'em. That is how it's done.

And I'm hoping that the next real-life True Blood romance will be between Eggs and Hoyt's mama je'e. Couple of the CENTURY!

Image VIA ONTD

Whenever HoHan calls the casting directors at True Blood, they probably cackle until the connection goes out. So HoHan has been forced to audition on Twitter. Yes, it's come to this. HoHan, who has already admitted that she's a major True Blood fanwhore, posted these pictures of her as a vampire on her Twitter. Nice try, bitch. If the show was called True Cokeywhore, then she'd get the starring role, but unfortunately it's not. The only way I could appreciate her Hot Topic-approved vampire look is if we were at a goth rave and I had a pill up the butt.

And here's a few pictures of Jason Segel busting buttons (LITERALLY) while arriving at the Chateau Marmont last night. Apparently, that's HoHan in the backseat of the SUV with him. They were partying all night together. And that's how she's going to get on How I Met Your Mother. Do who you gotta do, HoHan!

Spokeswhores for both Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer tell People that the two are going to go down the aisle, kiss in front of a preacher and do all that wedding stuff, because they are engaged. I hope that when they are pronounced vampire and telepath, Stephen turns to everyone and declares, "Sookeh iz mahn!" And then Sookie will sigh and say, "Awwww Beeehl." Seriously, their Southern accents are the best. By the "best," I mean the worst. Anyway.....

27-year-old Anna and 39-year-old Stephen first met on the set of True Blood. They somehow fell in love between filming scenes of them making fake bloody love to each other. Their reps say they started dating on February 24th (SO EXACT!).

Stephen has two children from another relationship. There's been a few rumors that Stephen dropped his old piece to pick up Anna. If that's the case, come on down, Anna! Sienna Miller would like to proudly welcome you into the Bull Dozer Vagina Club!

P.S. - Doesn't Stephen Moyer look totally differenct without his face covered in white flour, translucent foundation (shade: Nicole Kidman) and geisha snot?

Once a-fuckin-gain, True Blood has been screwed over (not and in a sexy way)! Last year, the Golden Globes gave True Blood a big slice of FU pie and now the Emmy whores have served up a second piece.

The Emmy nominations were announced this morning and True Blood failed to get nominated in any of the major categories. Who does a bitch have to glamour in order to get at least one big nomination?! Even Lafayette's nalgas should have been nominated. I mean, they probably gave a better performance than William Shatner and his pepaw ass got nominated AGAIN for Boston Legal. They even overlooked Randi Sue from True Blood and that trick got effed in an alleyway while Tara poured trash all over her head. It was a truly inspired performance!

I'll have to work on a letter to all Emmy voters asking them why they are prejudiced against vampires.....and hot whores who get dicked in alleyways. Breeeeeathe. Anyway....

The Family Guy got nominated for Outstanding Comedy Series making it the first cartoon since The Flinstones to get a nomination. Lisa Simpson is giving the meanest shank-eye ever.

In prettier Emmy news, 30 Rock got the most nominations with 22. And Katherine HAGel was not nominated even through she tried to bring the raw emotion in a big way. HA. HA. HA. and HA. Unfortunately, the Emmys don't have a"Worst Annoying Hagface Who is Made Entirely of Nicotine" category, because Hagel would be a shoo-in for that one (GONG!).

A list of some of the major nominations is after the jump. Click here to see a full list. JUMP!!!

In an interview with Marie Claire (via ONTD), Stephen Moyer from True Blood had this to say about Edward Cullen from Twilight: "He's a pussy! He's the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires."

Oh, shit. He said "Slim-Fast!" That shit has to burn like a crucifix to the nalgas!

This isn't really a fang fight since Edward doesn't have fangs! Edward can try to blind Vampire Bill rays of sparklies! Kind of like the Care Bear stare! Precious, right? If that didn't work, Rpattz could act out a few scenes which would cause Stephen to go completely numb. It worked on me while I was watching Twilight (please don't kill me, Twihards).

For those of you skanks who have not finished season 1 of True Blood yet, might want to skip right off of this post, because I might drop a spoiler or two. And my inbox has met its daily quota for "Damn you motherfucker" e-mails. Save it for tomorrow.

All the promo shit I've seen for the second season of True Blood has been missing a very important bitch: LAFAYETTE! Yes, I already know that Lafayette is de-de-de-dead. Some dumb ho who read the series already told my ass that he gets killed off in book two. I still don't want to believe it's true! There has to be a way for Lafayette to return! Can't they make his ass a bitchy zombie? This cannot be the end for Lafayette!!!! Oh well. It was nice to see pictures of his ass at the premiere last night even though he was dressed like the "cool" substitute English teacher in high school.

Here's a few more pictures from last night. They are in order (by character name): LAFAYETTE, a tall glass of Swedish milk, Jason Stackhouse, Vampire Bill, Sookie GAPhouse, Tara, Maryann, Rene and the cast.